looking for some advice

[Driel]

I have only just recently learned what sa is and how much it really affects what i do. First of all I want to thank all of you here after spending some time reading through some of the other posts I realize I need to get some help.

I have lived with sa for as long as i can remember even if i had no idea what it was, i knew something was wrong but at the same time couldnt and didnt know how to ask for help. I dont really know why but over the last month maybe two things have become much much worse. I sit and tremble all day in my office at work and now i can feel the full depresion settling in but i dont know what to do.

My first question then is where do you start? Who do you go and see about it first? A few years ago I was at the family doctor and he told me i was probably depresed and gave me something to take, I dont really remember what it was. I have had some bad experiances with family doctors and feel like im nothing but a bit of quick cash for the visit and a kick out the door. So is there anywhere else to start besides the family doctor?

For the second part, i didn't know what to do or where to go. The other day was especially bad i came home from work and just sat at my blank computer all day. My mom kept trying to talk to me and ask me if i was ok. Every time she opened my door or asked me if i wanted dinner, or if I was feeling better in a flash i was just so angry for no reason i would snap her head off telling her i was fine.

I kept telling myself to find somewhere to start and get some help but i had no idea where to start of how to go about it. Later that night i finally worked myself up into talking to her and tried to explain things and ask what i should do. She was fairly understanding all things considered but, i dont think she really understood. She seems to think i was just bored that day or something but told me she would see if she could figure something out.

Now I think I never should have mentioned it to her. I dont even feel comfortable at home any more. Today i kept trying to come up with someplace else i could go after work so I didnt have to come home. I ended up sneaking in the house so i didnt have to talk to her.

I could really use some advice about how to deal with all this, I dunno it seems like I've been carying around a bucket of water forever, difficult to be sure but not impossible, and now I'm trying to drag 10 behind me all of a sudden. Is that how it work with sa or is this a secondary problem?

im sorry about the long post I just don't know where to go for help and this seemed like the best place to ask.

 

[captain]

I'm kind of in the same situation as you where I just recently found out the name of what had been wrong with me for so many years. I went to the doctor and he reccomended I look into differnt drug treatments and I'll get back to him soon.
What I have done to kick the constant loneliness and crabiness (is that a word?) is read. I have been reading like there is no tomorrow. It helps a lot to find something that you enjoy and can become easily caught up in to distract yourself.
As for the mom situation, I don't know. My mom is a therapist who knows what I am going through and tries to help me all the time with it.

 

[SouthernBelle]

It sounds to me like what you are going through is a 'setback', where you go through a 'bad phase' in your SA, you feel lower than normal, depressed, sad, anxious, unable to concentrate, unable to sleep or eat properly.
Try to distract yourself and challenge yourself. Make yourself do a couple of exercises like walk round the block 1 time today, 2 times tomorrow, 3 times the next day.
Take a book out of the library on SA and look at some of the CBT techniques to help you out of this.
Listen to a relaxation tape at night. do progressive muscle relaxation.
Go and see your doctor if you dont feel better in a couple of weeks.
Plan a weekend away to have a different change of scenery, that always helps. Go and visit a family member that is lovely and you trust to cheer you up.
Just know that 'this too shall pass' and bad setbacks dont last forever. They work themselves out, last bad one i had lasted 4 weeks, i felt desperate and went to see my doctor and a therapist. Basically they told me what ive told you and i booked a weekend away. I felt much better when i came back and things were back to normal again....

 

[Driel]

Thank you both, it helps so much knowing there are people out there willing to offer some ideas. After I made my original post and went and read it over again i felt so dumb for posting it and almost deleted it, so thank you so much for the careing replies I think asking for help with this is one of the hardest things i've had to do.

It sounds to me like what you are going through is a 'setback', where you go through a 'bad phase' in your SA, you feel lower than normal, depressed, sad, anxious, unable to concentrate, unable to sleep or eat properly.

I'm surprised how acurate that is. I went thru about two days where I couldn't even make myself eat, just thinking about food made me feel sick. I also have not slept very well in quite a while, but that atleast has been normal for me for years.

Does anyone have any advice about the best way to start getting help? I have read people saying try and get a book about SA to look at. Beyond that though I dont know where to start, do you just go see a general care doctor or find a therapist first?

 

[Jack-B]

Driel,

Amazingly, you are in fact better off now than what you have been for a long time although things seem worse. Explain, ok..

You now really realize life doesnt have to be this way, you can change it for the better, it has been better. You have acknowledged there is 'something wrong' and that there has been something wrong for a while and now you have had enough. Great progress!

Anxiety is like a drug which confuses our mind, we become addicted to 'what others think of me' and the fear rollercoaster which we cant seem to stop but keep getting on. It becomes so desperate that we become depressed, suicidal and hopeless.

"My first question then is where do you start? Who do you go and see about it first?"

Go to the doctor, explain all, ask to see a pyschiatrist/therapist, who should be able to help. This takes time. Write a diary and chart how you feel, this helps get perspective and see the bigger picture.

I also wrote a post called 'Identifying the Mind of Anxiety" 5 Aug - which will help also, if you are interested.

Please let us know how you get on.

Jack