Living with complete strangers

[lonesomeboy]

I recently moved out of home, went interstate from Melbourne to Sydney and moved in into a big shared house with a bunch of people. Been here since Sunday, and well there has been some awkward SA situations.
Like saying "hi" to someone and getting no reply. Stuff like that. A few housemates are friendly and nice, a couple arent so welcoming. Is it because Iam new in the house ?

I would love to hear from fellow members that share accommodation their experiences and what not, when living with others.

Is there some etiquette or rules that applies ?

 

[DazedNConfused]

Hey, you're the one who posted earlier about moving, and you finally did it! Good for you!

As for ettiquette, I'm no expert on that, but I have picked up a few things in my 32 years on this planet:

1. Everyone is different. If a couple of people don't want to give you the courtesy of responding back to your greeting, then ignore them in the future (never respect someone that don't respect you back, Ive learnt this the hard way)

2. Don't appear to be needy, it puts people off. On the same token, acknowledge people that acknowledge you. The goal is not to impress, but to get to know them better. If they are respectable people, they will want to do the same.

3. Treat them the way you want to be treated, try to put yourself in their skin.

4. Clean up after yourself, Ive had friends who dropped room-mates who were slobs (not saying you're one, just something to be careful about)

5. Don't crash your friend's parties (we have a tenant in my complex who did that, and now everyone thinks he's a desperate idiot, although I can see where he's coming from, lonliness makes you do stupid things). "Crashing" a party means showing up un-invited. If you hear of a party you want to go to, hint around that you're interested in going. Of course, if the party is AT where you're living, then you have every right to attend

6. Try to remember that you're just as good as the rest of them, you've probably had to overcome many more obstacles then they did in life, so you should respect yourself for that reason alone!

7. Have fun!

Hope this helps you without coming off as "Preacherly"! I hope you really grow over there in Sydney, it really is a good oppurtunity for you! With some positive thinking to always keep you on track, I think in a year or two, your friends back home won't even recognize you!

 

[Oli025]

thats a really good post DazedNConfused.
coulsdnt have said it any better.

 

[Tanya_S]

i agree. very well written and exactly what i wanted to say but didnt know how to put it in words.

 

[kiwi]

I recently moved out of home, went interstate from Melbourne to Sydney and moved in into a big shared house with a bunch of people. Been here since Sunday, and well there has been some awkward SA situations.
Like saying "hi" to someone and getting no reply. Stuff like that. A few housemates are friendly and nice, a couple arent so welcoming. Is it because Iam new in the house ?

I would love to hear from fellow members that share accommodation their experiences and what not, when living with others.

Is there some etiquette or rules that applies ?

Good on you for making such a big move!

Is this a bunch of people who all socialise with each other, or do they all lead separate lives? If the latter, then I wouldn't worry about some people not being as welcoming - you're bound to get that with a diverse mix of people. As long as they are not hostile to you then I wouldn't worry.

The closest thing I've done to this was go over to the UK for a year on a working holiday. I was going to stay in a hostel when I got there, thinking I would meet lots of new friends etc, but in the end I stayed with an ex-colleague of mine from NZ (and his wife). It was probably just as well I did that because it took a couple of months to find a job and get my own place, and I don't think I could've lasted that long in a hostel!

One awkward thing I found living with this couple was what to do when they had their friends/family over. I wasn't sure whether the polite thing to do was to make myself scarce or what. I ended up going into my room or going out because I certainly didn't feel comfortable hanging around (felt like I was intruding). Does anyone know what the correct etiquette is in those situations?

 

[lonesomeboy]

thanks for the great advise dazedandconfused. i'll definately keep what you said in mind. I would never ever crash a party because not only would i seem desperate, my SA wouldnt even allow me to get into such a social situation in the first place.

Unfortunately, this shared house is more a hostel than house really, thus everyone do their separate things and pretty much keep to themselves in their rooms. there is not living room or tv lounge area. the whole house has been renovated to rooms, kitched and bathrooms only. I guess its ok for my SA but gets faily lonely. Now I dont even have family to talk to.

 

[DazedNConfused]

thanks for the great advise dazedandconfused. i'll definately keep what you said in mind. I would never ever crash a party because not only would i seem desperate, my SA wouldnt even allow me to get into such a social situation in the first place.

Unfortunately, this shared house is more a hostel than house really, thus everyone do their separate things and pretty much keep to themselves in their rooms. there is not living room or tv lounge area. the whole house has been renovated to rooms, kitched and bathrooms only. I guess its ok for my SA but gets faily lonely. Now I dont even have family to talk to.

Yeah, I hear you, the lonliness can be hard. When you have the energy, and the lonliness is driving you bonkers, try going out and checking things out in the city, there's has to be a ton of new things to see in Sydney! Just look at it as an "adventure" and begin exploring (hell, people from all over the world spend 12 hours on an airplane to see that city, you're right in the middle of it all!). Don't let people's perceptions of you ruin your chance at what will probably be the most interesting years of your life. All the shit that happened to you in the past is history, it's time for a new you to emerge!

Keep thinking of your experience as an oppurtunity to grow. Keep us posted of whats going on!