Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to vent a little and get your input. Ever since I was young I've always gotten attention from people I did not want it from. Some of it my fault, some not. It started in grade school. I've always been outspoken and opinionated. That is not a good thing when you are going to a Caribbean run school. The teachers at my school were the type that if one person did something wrong then everyone had to suffer for it. That led to everyone in the school not liking me, also a lot of teasing, rejection, and bullying.
When high-school came around things got worst. My freshman year some guy tried tried to take my bus pass. He didn't get it, but I ended up getting punched in the face. The thing that gets me angry is that I wasn't afraid of him, I was afraid of having to fight him and his "conglomerate." Soft-more and my junior years is when things got really bad. I was in a class where I had two fights with guys that were twice my size. For whatever reason the whole class turned on me. They were days were they would throw things at me and think is was funny. I felt helpless. I was not a confrontational personal and I was outnumbered. The thing I regret the most is the arguing over sports. One particular individual got a little out of hand. He would do things like get loud and start calling me names. I used to just ignore him. I ran into him over the summer. Mind you we're all grown men in our 30's now and he called out my name. When I went over to say hello he was like " What up bum ass nigga, non basketball playing ass nigga". I hope I don't offend anyone by writing this. I did not say anything because it caught me off guard. He started rambling about something and I just walked away.
What is annoying me is that I feel that I should of responded to him. But then I asked myself if I had did would it have been worth it to waste the energy. Then I said to myself that it was my fault. Karma from my behavior as a kid. I regret even wasting time arguing over the basketball stuff and trying to befriend certain individuals in the past. I think that my encounters with people have really screwed me up. Throughout my life people have constantly teased and tried to bring me down. But my biggest problem is that I feel that my obnoxious and annoying behavior at times is the cause of every bad thing that has ever happened to me. So what do guys think? Am I a loser? Or should I just shut up, get over it, and move on which has been tough?
p.s. Don't know if this matters but I grew up in a very urban part of Brooklyn, NY. Maybe this might give you guys some insight into where I'm coming from . Thanks.
I just wanted to vent a little and get your input. Ever since I was young I've always gotten attention from people I did not want it from. Some of it my fault, some not. It started in grade school. I've always been outspoken and opinionated. That is not a good thing when you are going to a Caribbean run school. The teachers at my school were the type that if one person did something wrong then everyone had to suffer for it. That led to everyone in the school not liking me, also a lot of teasing, rejection, and bullying.
When high-school came around things got worst. My freshman year some guy tried tried to take my bus pass. He didn't get it, but I ended up getting punched in the face. The thing that gets me angry is that I wasn't afraid of him, I was afraid of having to fight him and his "conglomerate." Soft-more and my junior years is when things got really bad. I was in a class where I had two fights with guys that were twice my size. For whatever reason the whole class turned on me. They were days were they would throw things at me and think is was funny. I felt helpless. I was not a confrontational personal and I was outnumbered. The thing I regret the most is the arguing over sports. One particular individual got a little out of hand. He would do things like get loud and start calling me names. I used to just ignore him. I ran into him over the summer. Mind you we're all grown men in our 30's now and he called out my name. When I went over to say hello he was like " What up bum ass nigga, non basketball playing ass nigga". I hope I don't offend anyone by writing this. I did not say anything because it caught me off guard. He started rambling about something and I just walked away.
What is annoying me is that I feel that I should of responded to him. But then I asked myself if I had did would it have been worth it to waste the energy. Then I said to myself that it was my fault. Karma from my behavior as a kid. I regret even wasting time arguing over the basketball stuff and trying to befriend certain individuals in the past. I think that my encounters with people have really screwed me up. Throughout my life people have constantly teased and tried to bring me down. But my biggest problem is that I feel that my obnoxious and annoying behavior at times is the cause of every bad thing that has ever happened to me. So what do guys think? Am I a loser? Or should I just shut up, get over it, and move on which has been tough?
p.s. Don't know if this matters but I grew up in a very urban part of Brooklyn, NY. Maybe this might give you guys some insight into where I'm coming from . Thanks.
