Steppen-Wolf
Well-known member
I don't believe that things happen "for a reason" or that there's some master plan for each person. But I do believe we can help ourselves and have better odds in the randomness of life.
Last year I made a huge emotional effort to leave my shelltered and self destructive existence with my family. I moved to another city and started in a new college. While I don't work it's still makes a huge difference living alone. You want to eat something?, you'll have to buy it and cook it, want clean clothes?, wash them yourself, want to skip class?, nobody will care and it will be only your responsability.
This change was hard, a new city, new classes where a didn't new a single person. Integrating even to the smallest degree was difficult. But I still faced it all.
Even so, something very important was still missing. True motivation. Not just self responsability but an emotion, something I truly wanted and me want to wake up every day.
A few months back I found that and it was, unsurprisingly, a girl. I don't want to go into silly details, let's just say it's exactly the kind of person I've always wanted to find and that I tought impossible to do so in this culture.
Ever since then I've been genuinly excited about this girl, a feeling that had become nothing but a memory of the past for me.
While I'm still a very realistic person and I know that my chances of getting close to her are small, I don't really think that's what truly matters. The simple fact that I've found something that I want, something I want to achieve and that I have to improve myself in order to do that is exactly what I was missing.
Motivation is no longer about some vague idea of happyness or mere survival. Now there's something far more specific and that changes it all.
Even if the end I complety fail in this goal, I feel that I will still make huge improvements. Because once there's motivation then everything changes, even the toughest problems don't discourage you because you can only thing about the rewards.
Last year I made a huge emotional effort to leave my shelltered and self destructive existence with my family. I moved to another city and started in a new college. While I don't work it's still makes a huge difference living alone. You want to eat something?, you'll have to buy it and cook it, want clean clothes?, wash them yourself, want to skip class?, nobody will care and it will be only your responsability.
This change was hard, a new city, new classes where a didn't new a single person. Integrating even to the smallest degree was difficult. But I still faced it all.
Even so, something very important was still missing. True motivation. Not just self responsability but an emotion, something I truly wanted and me want to wake up every day.
A few months back I found that and it was, unsurprisingly, a girl. I don't want to go into silly details, let's just say it's exactly the kind of person I've always wanted to find and that I tought impossible to do so in this culture.
Ever since then I've been genuinly excited about this girl, a feeling that had become nothing but a memory of the past for me.
While I'm still a very realistic person and I know that my chances of getting close to her are small, I don't really think that's what truly matters. The simple fact that I've found something that I want, something I want to achieve and that I have to improve myself in order to do that is exactly what I was missing.
Motivation is no longer about some vague idea of happyness or mere survival. Now there's something far more specific and that changes it all.
Even if the end I complety fail in this goal, I feel that I will still make huge improvements. Because once there's motivation then everything changes, even the toughest problems don't discourage you because you can only thing about the rewards.
