language anxiety

[coolasice]

I grow up in a multilingual community. My anxiety stems from the fact when i need to speak in certain language. I wonder why but when I m require to converse in a particular language, I get all tensed. It wasnt that serious back when I was younger, but it more and more serious these few years.

Despite the fact that i speak fairly fluently in that language these days, I am very particular of that language. Mayb because that language enjoys a higher social status than other language spoken in my community. And mayb because it is not my mother tongue, and my community expects me to speak the language that enjoy a higher status.

Its funny how psychological awared I am of to what language will a person utter. If they happen to speak the language that I am nervous at, all hell broke loss, but when they speak a language which i m confident in, i m fluent and even funny.

The surprising thing is that even i have improve linguistically in the language that I am feared of, the psychology of fear doesnt go away.

I know its chidlish for a mid 20ties to worry about this, but mayb thats the reason I am posting here. Thanks for the advice.

 

[Kinetik]

I know exactly what you mean. I'm Dutch by nationality, with the passport and surname and everything. Yet, my parents raised me as English. So despite having lived in Holland and Belgium for years, Dutch has always been my second language. People here can't figure out that I'm basically a foreigner so I feel like a total idiot when I goof up on the language, since they assume I'm a regular native. A lot of my anxiety has stemmed from this. I really feel so much better when I visit an English-speaking country.