first off, i do not believe in pills. every one of them seems to have side effects that require other pills to attemot to balance out your life, and becomes a constant tail chase...
i have been shy all of my life, first ulcer from worrying around 4th or 5th grade, started being absent from school a lot from 6th-8th, then completely changed my personality at the start of high school (not in an attempt to grab attention, completely opposite).
been to 3 different colleges due to all of my worries and thinking i was making safer decisions... but all i have to show for it is high HIGH debt.
multiple losses of girlfriends and jobs all due to my own fears...
finally decided to "get help" by taking medication and visiting with a counselor 5 years ago. the pills seemed to have brought me even closer to losing a job, and scared the **** out of me.
2 years ago i started looking for help again by asking other people how they deal with things. the only good news that i had seemed to found was an article in psychology today about taking acid or peyote, then a month or two later, the same effects were found to come from another drug with little to no side effects.
i found this site while looking up information, hoping to transform my life before i graduate, before i lost another job, before i bombed on more interviews, and before i would drive away more friends or girlfriends.
i graduate in less than a month, have went on quite a few interviews, drove away 4 different girls, and again, got fired from another job. i rarely show up to my internship because i hate going out in public. everytime i go out to work on things in my "comfortable zone", i feel like a pervert and people worry that i am looking at them. i can't stand to exercise by myself, but none of my remaining friends like to do anything active.
a few weeks after i lost my most recent job and drove away what seemed to be my absolute perfect match, i finally decided that i will use the little money that i have to pay to get things fixed.
i printed out as much information as i could about D-cycloserine and took it with me to a dr. appointment. i was passed around to other dr.s to try to get approval, which got me nowhere but deeper in debt. i tried to stay positive and thought of it as an investment in my life changing, and thinking that things could finally be better, but was met with a dead end in the form of a "dr." that was more proud of her achievments in status than her abilities to help people.
she refused to back down from a prescription of paxil, and didn't care to hear the reasons that i didn't want to take any long term medication with horrible side effects (previous experiences with 3 different pills).
i know that it may be the anxieties creating conspiracy theories, but why the hell have i found info building up D-Cycloserine so much, but then nothing about anyone chiming back in to answer questions?
i have only taken half pills of generic paxil for the past two days, but i had to leave early from class last night due to an extreme headache. today, i know it is cold, but i feel flushed...the feeling you get right before fainting, but without the burst of sweating. my head feels heavy and getting back what i call 'chemical headaches', which i never had before taking anti-anxiety/depression pills. i know that these things are supposed to take a while to work, but i still don't want to go out in public....and the added side effects just make it less believable that i will be any better than without them.
i am not a religious person, i get my confidence by achievements, i prefer no attention over positive attention, and am currently an unemployed 28 year old male living back at home with my retired parents...what in the hell can i do?
i have been shy all of my life, first ulcer from worrying around 4th or 5th grade, started being absent from school a lot from 6th-8th, then completely changed my personality at the start of high school (not in an attempt to grab attention, completely opposite).
been to 3 different colleges due to all of my worries and thinking i was making safer decisions... but all i have to show for it is high HIGH debt.
multiple losses of girlfriends and jobs all due to my own fears...
finally decided to "get help" by taking medication and visiting with a counselor 5 years ago. the pills seemed to have brought me even closer to losing a job, and scared the **** out of me.
2 years ago i started looking for help again by asking other people how they deal with things. the only good news that i had seemed to found was an article in psychology today about taking acid or peyote, then a month or two later, the same effects were found to come from another drug with little to no side effects.
i found this site while looking up information, hoping to transform my life before i graduate, before i lost another job, before i bombed on more interviews, and before i would drive away more friends or girlfriends.
i graduate in less than a month, have went on quite a few interviews, drove away 4 different girls, and again, got fired from another job. i rarely show up to my internship because i hate going out in public. everytime i go out to work on things in my "comfortable zone", i feel like a pervert and people worry that i am looking at them. i can't stand to exercise by myself, but none of my remaining friends like to do anything active.
a few weeks after i lost my most recent job and drove away what seemed to be my absolute perfect match, i finally decided that i will use the little money that i have to pay to get things fixed.
i printed out as much information as i could about D-cycloserine and took it with me to a dr. appointment. i was passed around to other dr.s to try to get approval, which got me nowhere but deeper in debt. i tried to stay positive and thought of it as an investment in my life changing, and thinking that things could finally be better, but was met with a dead end in the form of a "dr." that was more proud of her achievments in status than her abilities to help people.
she refused to back down from a prescription of paxil, and didn't care to hear the reasons that i didn't want to take any long term medication with horrible side effects (previous experiences with 3 different pills).
i know that it may be the anxieties creating conspiracy theories, but why the hell have i found info building up D-Cycloserine so much, but then nothing about anyone chiming back in to answer questions?
i have only taken half pills of generic paxil for the past two days, but i had to leave early from class last night due to an extreme headache. today, i know it is cold, but i feel flushed...the feeling you get right before fainting, but without the burst of sweating. my head feels heavy and getting back what i call 'chemical headaches', which i never had before taking anti-anxiety/depression pills. i know that these things are supposed to take a while to work, but i still don't want to go out in public....and the added side effects just make it less believable that i will be any better than without them.
i am not a religious person, i get my confidence by achievements, i prefer no attention over positive attention, and am currently an unemployed 28 year old male living back at home with my retired parents...what in the hell can i do?
