Through the years I have gone through the journeys of becoming free from the prison on my mind and shyness (being severely shy growing up) and I have made so much progress. But, I have noticed something recently that I apparently need to work on. When I was growing up, especially in high school (i'm now in my 40's), I was made fun of A LOT, by so many people in my school (big school). I felt like I was the freak of the school (and treated like so by a lot of people), had no friends whatsoever and was very depressed. People would laugh at me, point at me and laugh, talk about me, conspire to give me a hard time, etc... I have gone through a lot of healing and have gotten to a place where I have forgiveness and peace, after all they were just kids trying to fit in somehow. But, what I noticed lately is, say I'm at work, working away and I see a couple people facing me and talking at a distance, they are looking at me sometimes and laughing. Immediately I feel like oh they are laughing at me, when I know they aren't... I mean even their body language shows they aren't even talking about me, but that feeling still comes up. It's like a past feeling that came to haunt me, and I really never noticed it before and I know I need to work on it, so that's my next step to work on. Just thought I'd share! : )
Just noticed something else I need to work on : )
- Thread starter MaryA
- Start date
SPV
Well-known member
When you see people laughing at a distance there's no reason to make up harsh assumptions that they are poking fun at you, for all you know, they're talking about something else, and the likelihood of that is pretty high as you yourself know it. I've gone through the same, and after each encounter there's always a voice telling me that they're scoffing at me, but the reality is they're much likely not, because they don't even know me! No one has the right to judge you, you just go on about your own business and don't mind people who laugh, because whether they're laughing at you or not, you'll never know, so it's not worth your time.
Good luck on combating this, I'm sure with a person whose mind is as strong as yours, you'll make it.
Good luck on combating this, I'm sure with a person whose mind is as strong as yours, you'll make it.
Thank you both! Good advice! I feel sad for the kids who are being made fun of by their peers or even bullied as we speak, it really does stay with you. But, we have a choice when those times (feelings from the past) arise. We can either see it, and do what it takes in our mind to get over it, or stay there. We can stay in a pity party, stay angry or stay withdrawn, or we can discipline our thoughts so we can get past it, forgive, respect ourselves and engage with others. Sometimes I wish I was back in time (as a kid in school) as the person I am now. But then again, I am who I am because of what I went through, so I don't regret any of it! One thing awesome is after 30 yrs, I have gotten together with some of the people that I went to school with back then because of facebook, its been good for me.