Zarrix
Well-known member
I have heard the cases of some other people around here, they seem slightly worse than mine. At least I could finish high school, go to work everyday, conjure energy to answer a telephone, make a speech in front of a class, go out to certain places etc. Albeit I feel very anxious whilst I am doing any of these things, and prone to mistake making, especially at the gaze of others.
I am not depressed, at least very rarely. I always find something positive to salvage from the sometimes horrible debris.
Here is some of the things I have trouble doing
-Saying hello to strangers and people I semi-know. Hell, I even have trouble saying hello to my parents if I run into them in public.
-Saying goodbye.
-Saying Please and thankyou.
-Walking past groups of young males, young, attractive females or authority figures.
-I have to use the private toilet bowls in public toilets, I can't stand the thought of exposing my privates to other, judging males. I physically cannot piss without being closed behind a door.
-Going to certain places alone, movies, beach, etc.
-Sitting in the centre of a shopping centre alone, so many stares and judgements
-Purchasing an item (any item) from the shelves of a store, I always check that the aisle is empty. I don't want people judging me on what I buy.
-Queuing up purchasing items
-Anxiety at checkout, try to escape as quick as possible, sometimes forget
to grab purchased items, change etc.
-I become so nervous when people stare at me at work, judging me, and putting me under pressure.
-I become especially nervous when loud males or attractive females work around me. I lose all commonsense and concentration to the task.
-Always analyse and have a 'post mortem' of all social situations.
-Stutter and mumble
-Don't try to engage in random conversation, try and avoid expressing emotion.
-Never reveal what I do at home to anyone but my best friends.
-Don't listen to music aloud, or watch TV in front of most people, unless it is approved, and I am certain I will not receive a negative judgement.
-Don't like being the centre of attention, like to do jobs in the background.
-Sometimes , I avoid potentially anxiety provoking situations. If not possible, my body just freezes and movements are very stiff.
-Double check my clothing, making sure I have put it on correctly and am not revealing anything potentially judgemental about myself.
-I usually become sad if something socially negative happens to me, which is quite often.
-If someone forces me into a potentially anxiety provoking event, I try and find a way out of it at all costs.
-I feel I can never say the right thing.
-Silence is considered the worst failure of all, worse than a disagreement even.
-Prefer to do things myself, rather than seek help. Seeking help is a sign of inferiority, even if the task is beyond you,
-Having someone tell you what to do is embarrassing, but you don't use your own initative that often because it could be wrong, and potentially negatively judged apon.
Physical Symptoms
-Blushing
-Faster heart rate
-Thumping heart beat
-Mild sickness
-Stiffness, muscle freezing.
-Walk disturbance.
-Trembling
Mental
-Avoidance behavioiur
-Sole-focus on people around me
-Lack of concentration
-Become extremely self conscious
-Mind goes blank.
It seems fairly severe to me, I struggle to participate in any social situation/outing and when I need to, I am very tense. I want to seek help on this problem, but where to start. I don't have enough money yet to go to a high-end psychiatrist so would my local GP be a good place to start?
I am not depressed, at least very rarely. I always find something positive to salvage from the sometimes horrible debris.
Here is some of the things I have trouble doing
-Saying hello to strangers and people I semi-know. Hell, I even have trouble saying hello to my parents if I run into them in public.
-Saying goodbye.
-Saying Please and thankyou.
-Walking past groups of young males, young, attractive females or authority figures.
-I have to use the private toilet bowls in public toilets, I can't stand the thought of exposing my privates to other, judging males. I physically cannot piss without being closed behind a door.
-Going to certain places alone, movies, beach, etc.
-Sitting in the centre of a shopping centre alone, so many stares and judgements
-Purchasing an item (any item) from the shelves of a store, I always check that the aisle is empty. I don't want people judging me on what I buy.
-Queuing up purchasing items
-Anxiety at checkout, try to escape as quick as possible, sometimes forget
to grab purchased items, change etc.
-I become so nervous when people stare at me at work, judging me, and putting me under pressure.
-I become especially nervous when loud males or attractive females work around me. I lose all commonsense and concentration to the task.
-Always analyse and have a 'post mortem' of all social situations.
-Stutter and mumble
-Don't try to engage in random conversation, try and avoid expressing emotion.
-Never reveal what I do at home to anyone but my best friends.
-Don't listen to music aloud, or watch TV in front of most people, unless it is approved, and I am certain I will not receive a negative judgement.
-Don't like being the centre of attention, like to do jobs in the background.
-Sometimes , I avoid potentially anxiety provoking situations. If not possible, my body just freezes and movements are very stiff.
-Double check my clothing, making sure I have put it on correctly and am not revealing anything potentially judgemental about myself.
-I usually become sad if something socially negative happens to me, which is quite often.
-If someone forces me into a potentially anxiety provoking event, I try and find a way out of it at all costs.
-I feel I can never say the right thing.
-Silence is considered the worst failure of all, worse than a disagreement even.
-Prefer to do things myself, rather than seek help. Seeking help is a sign of inferiority, even if the task is beyond you,
-Having someone tell you what to do is embarrassing, but you don't use your own initative that often because it could be wrong, and potentially negatively judged apon.
Physical Symptoms
-Blushing
-Faster heart rate
-Thumping heart beat
-Mild sickness
-Stiffness, muscle freezing.
-Walk disturbance.
-Trembling
Mental
-Avoidance behavioiur
-Sole-focus on people around me
-Lack of concentration
-Become extremely self conscious
-Mind goes blank.
It seems fairly severe to me, I struggle to participate in any social situation/outing and when I need to, I am very tense. I want to seek help on this problem, but where to start. I don't have enough money yet to go to a high-end psychiatrist so would my local GP be a good place to start?
