restless
Member
Greetings! I’m new here. I’m 26 year old male. I have SA/AvPD (self diagnosed).
In the past I knew that there is something wrong with my life, but didn’t know what exactly. I have read a lot over internet past last year about these conditions and now I’m prety sure about this. Now I know that I’m not alone in the struglle, but this don’t makes things much better.
My life is very monotonous. I have only few friends and some acquaintances and rarely go with them somewhere. Usualy my days passing from home to work and from work to home. Weekends are lonely and boring. One of the most painful thoughts is that I let the time to pass through me like a sand through fingers. I’m starting to fear that my time is running out. I’m already 26 year old and I have taken only about 10-20 % of what life can offer to an average young man. Dammit, I missed the youth. No real friends, no girls, no parties, no happines. Now my best friend is my computer. I feel bitter that I’m totally unable to make new friendships, to find girlfriend an to have a proper life. I’m too shy and too anxious for normal social life. I have a strong inferiority complex and a low self esteem, even when I know that there is no clear reason for this.
Anxiety stopped me many times for taking risks in searching for solution of the problem. Just for instance - I would die to have a date with a girl and at the same time I would die if I have it. I’d rather commit a suicide than asking a girl for a date. I’m convinced that girls don’t like losers like me.
I don’t like meetings with old friends and acquaintances, because it makes me more sad. A lot of them have a real successful lifes – have many friends, get married (or have a girlfriends/boyfriends), have children, have a prestigeous and well paid jobs and so on and so on… And what about me? I’m the same loser. I have not changed through years. Well maybe a little bit. My life is sad and boring. I know that many of you are feel the same and can relate to this. And I just wanted to share my thoughts with other people with the same problems.
I’m sorry for my english, but it is not my native language. I hope that you aren’t too much bored reading this.
In the past I knew that there is something wrong with my life, but didn’t know what exactly. I have read a lot over internet past last year about these conditions and now I’m prety sure about this. Now I know that I’m not alone in the struglle, but this don’t makes things much better.
My life is very monotonous. I have only few friends and some acquaintances and rarely go with them somewhere. Usualy my days passing from home to work and from work to home. Weekends are lonely and boring. One of the most painful thoughts is that I let the time to pass through me like a sand through fingers. I’m starting to fear that my time is running out. I’m already 26 year old and I have taken only about 10-20 % of what life can offer to an average young man. Dammit, I missed the youth. No real friends, no girls, no parties, no happines. Now my best friend is my computer. I feel bitter that I’m totally unable to make new friendships, to find girlfriend an to have a proper life. I’m too shy and too anxious for normal social life. I have a strong inferiority complex and a low self esteem, even when I know that there is no clear reason for this.
Anxiety stopped me many times for taking risks in searching for solution of the problem. Just for instance - I would die to have a date with a girl and at the same time I would die if I have it. I’d rather commit a suicide than asking a girl for a date. I’m convinced that girls don’t like losers like me.
I don’t like meetings with old friends and acquaintances, because it makes me more sad. A lot of them have a real successful lifes – have many friends, get married (or have a girlfriends/boyfriends), have children, have a prestigeous and well paid jobs and so on and so on… And what about me? I’m the same loser. I have not changed through years. Well maybe a little bit. My life is sad and boring. I know that many of you are feel the same and can relate to this. And I just wanted to share my thoughts with other people with the same problems.
I’m sorry for my english, but it is not my native language. I hope that you aren’t too much bored reading this.
