Just another moan/rant :(

[JamieD]

I'm just at a loss for what's going to become of me if something doesn't change. I'm even starting to wonder if perhaps this is AvPD, because i rarely get anxiety symptoms while around people. I've just got into the habit of not getting out and mixing with people, classic avoidance behaviour i know. I really want to force myself to do something tomorrow, but i know i won't when the time actually comes, i won't. I'm 20 soon, and the fact that i've never had a girlfriend, or even came close, is really getting me down. Especially when tonight i was with my dad shopping in a (quiet) shop, and i realised i don't even have the confidence to lift my gaze off the floor and actually look at the (cute) checkout girl. What are my chances when i'm obviously going to come across as not interested like that? I can see why so many people turn to alcohol.
But like i was saying, i've always thought to myself that i've never really fit the criteria for social-anxiety. I don't shake, my heart doesn't beat fast, however i DO blush, VERY easily :: I don't get panic attacks, and i don't think i've ever had one either, so it's making me wonder if it's something else. I've been reading, perhaps AvPD? I just avoid contact from day to day, but really want to do something about it now ::

 

[planemo]

To the best of my knowledge AvPD is something that is triggered by feelings of shame, ineptitude, inferiority etc around people (basically negative feelings) and thus one avoids being around others so as not to expose or feel judged by them because of these perceived flaws. If you feel this is an accurate description of what you're experiencing then it could be AvPD, but I'm sure SAD and AvPD are related and in some instances overlap. But yeah I'm in the same boat. I've never had a gf basically because I have no self esteem whatsoever. I ponder about how I will be able to find someone without changing, but it's hard to change the way I feel and think.

Apart from telling you that you have to change the way you see yourself, I have no other advice. I guess I should listen to my own advice and learn to change the feelings about myself too. Otherwise it's Lonerville for me.

 

[JamieD]

Thanks for replying. I thought this thread was going to flop, how embarrassing
I definantly get feelings of inferiority and ineptitude, but not particularly shame. I think SA and AvPD definitely overlap. I probably shouldn't assume the worst yet. It is hard try and change, but i'm going to try my best to. I really need to overcome this.