Funkymunky
Well-known member
Theres a certain common denomination amongst people who have developed a crippling anxiety toward social interaction.Its the fear of negative evaluation.Like it or not for every complex nuance we submit in our posts it seems summarized by this,our greatest concern,our weakness,that we can be 'shot down' by a reaction.Peoples perceptions of us are essentially overvalued and in a negative context can cast personal dislike,pain,mental torture and self-doubt way above any reasonable levels.
Maybe we feel transparent,perhaps everything we loath in ourselves we focus on to such a high degree that it seems without question,visible to others.Perhaps its just a plain fear that others will attack or exploit our weaknesses,something we may have learned in the past.Simply we may just care too much,we are too sensitive.In practise this focus upon how we present ourselves to others becomes damaging.We hold everyone we interact with physically in high-esteem because we know that if they,whomever they may be,hold us in anything less we are wounded.What may simply be incompatibility with another person instead it becomes an inward voyage of personal questioning.We lack the sufficient self esteem.We are thinkers,carers,sensitives,transparent and analytical,thoughtful and fragile.Do we fear other people or do we really fear ourselves?.
The reason for this post is simply an attempt,hopefully in some small way successfully,to address an issue amongst two people who through sharing similar troubles have reached this website.In such a massive world which can often feel cold and non-understanding we have all found our way to this small community via personal journeys of heartache,pain,doubt and shedded tears.Empathy now seems pivotal to our needs and where better to receive a refueling of much needed understanding than amongst others on similar paths facing similar obstacles?.No matter what your past there is an undeniable equality on this website that should be embraced not breached.We shouldnt deny our failings or any devils we carry in the dark areas of our souls,instead maybe we should try recognise them so as to better recede them.Out in the world perhaps we become defensive when our insecurities are brushed against and confuse this with an outright assualt but we shouldnt here.This should be a place to leave your armour behind.This does not have to mean dropping all pride but if any of us ever want to get better perhaps we have to first become truly honest with ourselves.I feel it may be an important outlook not just for the aforementioned but for all of us to remember that there is no competition here,no ladder to climb,no popularity contests and not one single person who burts with confidence despite certain aspects of themselves appearing that way.Whomever has hurt you in the past will most certainly share no qualitys with others on this website even if through your own personal dark cloud it appears that way.
I hate to sound like a hippy but we were all once children with bright eyes,high ambitions and lots of dreams.Now we are adults who all share the fear that has led our lives to be far removed from what we once dreamed they would be.We all start innocent and are somehow tainted by the world.Infact we are not tainted by the world as such,remove people from the world and how could we possibly tainted?.People are tainted by people and once tainted we cant help but taint others.Its a sad circle that can only be lessened by recognising our failings and finding the strength to avoid there presence.
Theres no use posting "Im so nice everyone tells me so"...if you posted that in the first place its probably because deep down you are unsure if you are.Yet if you post "Im not sure,id like to be a nice person but my baggage affects others",then theres a certain degree of honesty which is a nice quality.This is especially true if just after telling everyone how nice you are,instead of letting them see it for themselves,you launch a verbal attack because someone has touched on an insecurity.
I hope in someway this helps and i really didnt mean to preach.I can only approach and mention all thats written above because I recognise it in myself.I have these failings and more and cannot speak from any higher position.All I guess i truly mean is that whilst we swim in our murky waters lets try not splash others who are also trying to stay afloat and find the shore.
Maybe we feel transparent,perhaps everything we loath in ourselves we focus on to such a high degree that it seems without question,visible to others.Perhaps its just a plain fear that others will attack or exploit our weaknesses,something we may have learned in the past.Simply we may just care too much,we are too sensitive.In practise this focus upon how we present ourselves to others becomes damaging.We hold everyone we interact with physically in high-esteem because we know that if they,whomever they may be,hold us in anything less we are wounded.What may simply be incompatibility with another person instead it becomes an inward voyage of personal questioning.We lack the sufficient self esteem.We are thinkers,carers,sensitives,transparent and analytical,thoughtful and fragile.Do we fear other people or do we really fear ourselves?.
The reason for this post is simply an attempt,hopefully in some small way successfully,to address an issue amongst two people who through sharing similar troubles have reached this website.In such a massive world which can often feel cold and non-understanding we have all found our way to this small community via personal journeys of heartache,pain,doubt and shedded tears.Empathy now seems pivotal to our needs and where better to receive a refueling of much needed understanding than amongst others on similar paths facing similar obstacles?.No matter what your past there is an undeniable equality on this website that should be embraced not breached.We shouldnt deny our failings or any devils we carry in the dark areas of our souls,instead maybe we should try recognise them so as to better recede them.Out in the world perhaps we become defensive when our insecurities are brushed against and confuse this with an outright assualt but we shouldnt here.This should be a place to leave your armour behind.This does not have to mean dropping all pride but if any of us ever want to get better perhaps we have to first become truly honest with ourselves.I feel it may be an important outlook not just for the aforementioned but for all of us to remember that there is no competition here,no ladder to climb,no popularity contests and not one single person who burts with confidence despite certain aspects of themselves appearing that way.Whomever has hurt you in the past will most certainly share no qualitys with others on this website even if through your own personal dark cloud it appears that way.
I hate to sound like a hippy but we were all once children with bright eyes,high ambitions and lots of dreams.Now we are adults who all share the fear that has led our lives to be far removed from what we once dreamed they would be.We all start innocent and are somehow tainted by the world.Infact we are not tainted by the world as such,remove people from the world and how could we possibly tainted?.People are tainted by people and once tainted we cant help but taint others.Its a sad circle that can only be lessened by recognising our failings and finding the strength to avoid there presence.
Theres no use posting "Im so nice everyone tells me so"...if you posted that in the first place its probably because deep down you are unsure if you are.Yet if you post "Im not sure,id like to be a nice person but my baggage affects others",then theres a certain degree of honesty which is a nice quality.This is especially true if just after telling everyone how nice you are,instead of letting them see it for themselves,you launch a verbal attack because someone has touched on an insecurity.
I hope in someway this helps and i really didnt mean to preach.I can only approach and mention all thats written above because I recognise it in myself.I have these failings and more and cannot speak from any higher position.All I guess i truly mean is that whilst we swim in our murky waters lets try not splash others who are also trying to stay afloat and find the shore.
