Judging Ourselves by Unfair Standards

[Bittersweet]

I've seen many people say things like:

I'm a certain age, and I've only done A and B with my life, and I should already be at X and Y.

I haven't experienced X so that means I'm:

a loser, a failure, a pathetic person.

It's not fair to judge ourselves based on societal norms. It doesn't make us weak because we can't overcome SA, it makes us strong because we continue to fight a debilitating condition that most of society doesn't understand.

 

[upndwn]

I'm 32 years old and I've never been able to hold a job, never been in a serious relationship and has almost no education to speak of. Compared to everyone I know, even those that are ten years younger than me, I am far behind when it comes to the things that are seen as the most important things in modern society for most people.

What I have, which most others don't is experience. I have lived through hell and walked out to the tale. I try to be honest with my friends about my problems, although most have a hard time understanding the severity of the handicap it causes. People do seem to respect me for my calm demeanor and views on life. I am often the first person they come to when they have a hard time and needs someone to talk to. I understand to well how bad emotional pain can be, because I have lived with it 24/7 for over twenty years.

I think we should learn from our disability and let them make us stronger instead of using them as an excuse to get away from responsibility or wallow in self-pity. We may take a bit longer to achieve what others find easy, but it's the largest diamonds that takes the longest to cut.

 

[Bittersweet]

I'm 32 years old and I've never been able to hold a job, never been in a serious relationship and has almost no education to speak of. Compared to everyone I know, even those that are ten years younger than me, I am far behind when it comes to the things that are seen as the most important things in modern society for most people.

What I have, which most others don't is experience. I have lived through hell and walked out to the tale. I try to be honest with my friends about my problems, although most have a hard time understanding the severity of the handicap it causes. People do seem to respect me for my calm demeanor and views on life. I am often the first person they come to when they have a hard time and needs someone to talk to. I understand to well how bad emotional pain can be, because I have lived with it 24/7 for over twenty years.

I think we should learn from our disability and let them make us stronger instead of using them as an excuse to get away from responsibility or wallow in self-pity. We may take a bit longer to achieve what others find easy, but it's the largest diamonds that takes the longest to cut.

Well said, and very wise

 

[carecrab]

i think mr upndwn is very wise and right.

 

[Paahi]

I'm 32 years old and I've never been able to hold a job, never been in a serious relationship and has almost no education to speak of. Compared to everyone I know, even those that are ten years younger than me, I am far behind when it comes to the things that are seen as the most important things in modern society for most people.

What I have, which most others don't is experience. I have lived through hell and walked out to the tale. I try to be honest with my friends about my problems, although most have a hard time understanding the severity of the handicap it causes. People do seem to respect me for my calm demeanor and views on life. I am often the first person they come to when they have a hard time and needs someone to talk to. I understand to well how bad emotional pain can be, because I have lived with it 24/7 for over twenty years.

I think we should learn from our disability and let them make us stronger instead of using them as an excuse to get away from responsibility or wallow in self-pity. We may take a bit longer to achieve what others find easy, but it's the largest diamonds that takes the longest to cut.

Well said.

 

[atavistic]

I remember when I was at a hospital waiting because my grandma was dying and I needed to get out. So I went downstairs and there was this 60ish year old dude playing piano to console people like me. I told him I liked his playing on a whim. And he asked me if I had a request. Anyways we got to talking and for whatever reason he asked me how my life was going and I ashamedly told him that it wasn't great. And that I felt like I was running out of time to go to college.

He threw back his head, beard and all, and laughed. Really laughed. Then he was like John... I think I'm the one that's running out of time.

This totally blew my mind. And I realized I was being naive to talk about running out of time to him. Not to mention I wasn't actually running out of time. It seemed to me he understood all of this at once and this just tickled him to the core. I will never forget him and how his laugh and a few words completely changed my world. At least my view on things.