jokes and friend

[newshyguy]

is it just me or anyone else cant take a joke?
when a friend makes a joke of me , i tend to take it seriously, i mean i dont want to take it seriously but i do, and im not talking about a small joke, im talking about jokes only guys could make , you know?

whats wrong with me that i cant take jokes :/

 

[Rainman]

Have you read this book called the "Art of verbal self defense"? It mentions situations like this and how you can tell the difference between a verbal attack and a joke.

If the joke makes you feel bad, if it feels like somebody has just punched you, then it is not a joke anymore. It has not made you laugh and you should let your friends know that. If they respect you, they will not joke with you like that anymore.

Otherwise, they will think it is okay to joke with you like that and if you continue to repress this issue, it will just make you feel bad and make you feel worse.

So go ahead, next time they say something that makes you feel bad, let them know.

 

[newshyguy]

1

interesting Rainman, no i have not read that book, so your saying that maybe is not really me but my friend who is making the joke? and he is like making a verbal attack at me

ok ill give you the scenario i was in .
i was talking to my friend in our dorm, the door was open, and out of nowhere comes my other friend and he is like " what u guys doing ..jerking off or something " and then he leaves quickly, i was just like "wtf where did he come from"

thanx for your insight,

 

[spikefan777]

Are the jokes your friends make about you offensive in any way? Or just not funny?

 

[avenger]

my friends make a joke about me all the time but they dont mean to hurt my feelings but they do and it hurts me i cant have any fun, it is sad that my friends these days are on the computer

 

[IceLad]

When the joke is on me and I'm the centre of attention, my face tends to go very rigid and I try and force myself to smile. Probably not the best tactic- I think false smiles are easily spottable.

 

[newshyguy]

12

I have reached my limit of posts allowed today. So I'll just PM you:

What your friend said is not matters, it's how he said it that matters. Sometimes friends talk to their friends this way and it's considered normal, but there is something behind it, it's their way of exerting power over you. You need to defend yourself.

Suppose he had came up to you and said in a lighthearted way, with a smile, you would know he was joking. But if just came up all of a sudden and said "You jerking off" and it seemed more like blasting you, it's most likely an attack.

Let your own feelings guide you as to what is a joke and what isn't. There is nothing wrong with you, if you don't like how or what you friend said. It's your right to set limits to how people interact with you and it's definitely your right to speak up against something that hurts you.

i think this is a very thoughtful reply, so i posted here.

anyways yea it was offensive and it was more like an attack, he probably attack me cus he is all big and fat, and im smaller and quiet. and i felt totally disrespected and judged, but i didnt defend my self from him , i didnt talk back, next time that fat meatball makes a joke like that ima put a limit on how friendly he can get around me with his jokes,


and yea it doesnt really matter what it said but how it said !!!