I'm new here. I think I need to finally reach out to others who can understand what it's like to live with SA. I've had this problem since 14 years old. I finished highschool with good grades but no friends. I went to college and after 4 1/2 years, dropped out because I couldn't stick to a program due to required participation that made me dread going to class. I ended up marrying my college sweetheart, though, which was fine for me at the time. We divorced a couple of years ago, though, and now I'm faced with the dilemma of trying to find a job at my age with no work experience. I am earning a certificate in office assistance and information processing which should qualify me for an office assistant-type job but so far, no one has called me for an interview. Probably because I have no personal, professional references, and no work experience.
I looked up some people from my highschool on Facebook and online only to find that today, they are accomplished anthropologists, internal medicine doctors, lawyers, teachers, entrepreneurs, which led me to feel very disappointed in myself. For a moment, I forgot I haven't been able to have a career because my SA was an obstacle that made it impossible. So, for a while, I felt very much like a loser and embarrassed at who I turned out to be: a divorced, unemployed, unsociable, failure.
Then, after a week of feeling sorry for myself and bitter towards everyone I perceived as successes, I finally reminded myself that it wasn't lack of motivation on my part, or my lack of intelligence, because I'm not dumb or lazy. It was SA. I'd like to see any one of those out there who have succeeded in life, career-wise, try to do it all over again but with severe SA.
The fact that I have, for a period, blamed myself (ignoring the fact that I have a debilitating disorder) for my failures to accomplish something as basic as having a career and a social life, I realized I needed to reach out and seek the support of others who understand what this feels like.
So, here I am. Hi, everyone.
I looked up some people from my highschool on Facebook and online only to find that today, they are accomplished anthropologists, internal medicine doctors, lawyers, teachers, entrepreneurs, which led me to feel very disappointed in myself. For a moment, I forgot I haven't been able to have a career because my SA was an obstacle that made it impossible. So, for a while, I felt very much like a loser and embarrassed at who I turned out to be: a divorced, unemployed, unsociable, failure.
Then, after a week of feeling sorry for myself and bitter towards everyone I perceived as successes, I finally reminded myself that it wasn't lack of motivation on my part, or my lack of intelligence, because I'm not dumb or lazy. It was SA. I'd like to see any one of those out there who have succeeded in life, career-wise, try to do it all over again but with severe SA.
The fact that I have, for a period, blamed myself (ignoring the fact that I have a debilitating disorder) for my failures to accomplish something as basic as having a career and a social life, I realized I needed to reach out and seek the support of others who understand what this feels like.
So, here I am. Hi, everyone.
