It's changing who I am :/

BlaiseBLATES

Well-known member
I really do hate people right now. I've just been thinking and if it wasn't for people being absoloute idiots to me I would'nt be here right now. It's like I used to be able to controll my anxiety and that at school, but then I got rather severly bullied by a load of lads for how I looked and now I've changed ALOT and I can barely step out my door. I don't think it's fair that the girl in the miniskirt has everyone being in love with her, but the girl who's completely just honest with herself and dresses a little crazy gets a lump of concrete thrown at her head. I've changed alot which I really don't like, I'm not as out spoken as I used to be, I don't dress how I want to when I go out, I dress how I'd be accepted. It's a really pathetic thing to do since I can only go out for 5-10 minutes before having a panic attack. Has anyone else been in a similar situation who's in their teens? (i'm only fourteen)
 

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Well It's not that I can't go outside. I am always in the house. If there is a day I dont ahve to go to school, I would be in the house all day. I want to go out but I just don't want anyone to see me, or speak to me and I dont want to see or speak to them.
 

Quiet Angel

Well-known member
Yes, it's happened to me aswell. I've never experienced
a panic attack, but I've had racing thoughts & I feel as
though I'm about to pass out. Sometimes, I'd put an hours
effort to improve my appearance and I'd try on 10-12 diff.
outfits, and then decide that I'm not going out. Consumed
so much of my time that I'll never get back. *sigh* Bleh.
 

Magnaman

Member
That's the problem.. always staying inside and isolating ur self away from society.. it gives you too much time to reflect on ur self...and when you look into urself, you'll start seeing all of the uglyness in yourself (that's not true). that's what leads to self-blame.. it just goes down hill from there if you don't do something about it.

Although you're only 14 .. time will fly by and before you know it .. you're 20 years old... you'll then realize how much you of your teenage years you wasted... just because of depression....

my only advice for you is to talk with your family and see if they can help resolve the issue.. maybe go see a psychologist... or become part of a church group.. or anything that will make you productive and contributive to the community..

don't let depression **** your life up. or you'll learn it the hard way (it happened to me) ... you still have alot of time.

and if depression does go away.. it has a chance of coming back.. you have to fight it.
 

I_Walk_Alone

Well-known member
Geeeez, way to tug on the old heartstrings there, Blaisey ::(:

You must have had some wicked mean bullies at your school! ****ing arseholes. Give me their names :mad:

At least you know whats up with you though, that'll help you enourmously. Especially at 14. Though i'm 22 now, I do still go through very similar experiences, although no where near as bad when I was around your age (well, I may have been a couple years older actually, I was a little hoodlum at 14, IIRC)

Your brain hasnt even stopped developing yet! So dont get into drugs or any of that non-sense, plan ahead for the next 5 or so years and please dont go thinking self-deprevating thoughts, especially at your age.

Even though i'm a laddie, I can definatley hear you in regards to the unwritten dress code rules and regulations! I can easily spend a half hour as a shop-window model, the next 15 minutes pumping myself up only to chicken out and scan my brain for something stimulating.

Oh, and it might help if your parents are very supportive.


All the very best :).
 
I've had something similar happen to me just because I wasn't talkitive and dressed like everyone else. People would say I was crazy, a psycho, weird, and ugly. I aslo had people throw things at me. It just all made me very depressed and I think this experience might have probably caused my SA.

I remember feeling anxious and getting panic attacks too. My SA didn't help my situation it just made everyone think I was more weird. I use to cover my face with my hair and wear my hoodie so people couldn't see me. Which did help me to feel better but it also made me stand out and seem strange even though I didn't mean to. At some point things were so bad that I didn't even want to go to school at times because of my anxiety. I spent most of my years in high school alone and just wanting school to be over with.
 

mmmm

Well-known member
Is that your real pic? bacause there's absolutely nothing to make fun of. I'm 25 now and my "girl in a mini" from when i was 14 is now a fat single mom. you hit the nail on the head: People are absolute idiots. If you're phoney when you go out, sure, you'll end up with a lot of phoney friends. But wouldn't you rather be yourself and have one or two real friends?
 
It's true people can be such ***holes. Sometimes they just might like you and not know how to express their feelings to you and find it easier to say things about you. Or they might be having a bad day or is not feeling good about them selves so they feel the need to make others feel the way they feel or even lower than them to boost their self-esteem.

I think the best thing to do would be to go see a therapist or psychologist to help you. It probably would be great if you could have someone who could go with you and to help support you through this, maybe your mom or someone who is close to you that would understand.
 
I'm seventeen, and I just started having panic attacks. =/ it can be really scary and sometimes I want to completely give up on having a social life, but I know I can get through it. You can't give up. You can't let yourself stay in the house. You must force yourself to look everyone in the eye, and even if you do have a panic attack, you must calm yourself by repeating to yourself, if they don't like me for who I am, they don't matter. I'm serious. The first few times I had panic attacks, I wanted to drop out and bury my head under the sand forever. But I'm not giving up and I'm certainly not letting my insecurities feed on me and give them the satisfaction of screwing up my life. You just gotta fight, girl. I'm always here to talk to, and I'll never judge you by how you look. I'm willing to bet a lot of us could use friends for support. My friends shake me out of my panic attack, they keep my mind busy. I also find that calming music, like The Beatles or 311, help me clear my mind of an upcoming panic attack. Sing along, all you need is love.
 
Top