Isn't strange?

[Lorraine Manca]

How it takes you 4 seconds to warm up to some people and years to warm up to others? there's no rhyme or reason either. too bad you cant give people the memo! id really like to get to know you, but i will have to think about it for four years first. can i get back to you then?

 

[exquisite]

so true. haha unfortunately, it used to take me 4 seconds to warmn up to people...now i'm in the 4 years stage...with pretty much everyone. it's kinda sad when i can't trust anyone..

 

[Harleyq]

Not for me...I know exactly why I'm instantly comfortable around some and not around most and it has almost everything to do with their appearance.

Yeah yeah, some people can call me shallow if they want, blah blah blah, but everyone does it. If I see someone dressed similarly to me, or they just have a style similar to that of my highschool friends, I feel instantly comfortable. It's the effect of the familiar. Their appearances trigger memories of people I knew, and that affects the way I feel.

After that, their personality is what allows me to stay comfortable/uncomfortable with them. After a few minutes I can tell (as I'm sure everyone can) when someone's talking to me to be polite and when someone's talking to me out of genuine interest. It's easier for me to be myself when someone immediately starts chatting away about comedy or literature or comic books than when they're saying general "everyman" things like "So...where are you from? Oh, that town! Do you know ______? What are you studying?"

 

[Lorraine Manca]

it feels silly though, when you meet interesting people who are down to earth, but you still dont warm up to them. maybe in the next life!

 

[reslo]

yeah i don't get it either.... if i meet someone and they remind of someone i used to be friends with, it makes it all the more easier to be friends with them. For me, I get really intimidated by people. I always think they have these lives that are so much better than mine, and I have nothing to offer, so it makes it hard for me to want to reach out to people. But yeah, it's sad how there's people that I've known for YEARS but i barely know them. I've known them forever, but i would never call them up to hang out- I've noticed that in groups of friends that there is one friend that kinda pulls everybody together, and if that person goes away, than the whole group does too.... sometimes it gets harder to get to know people the longer you've known them.
... and yeah, but sometimes you can feel closer to a stranger than you do to the people you've known a long time.