mateog69
New member
Hey everyone,
I've been dealing with my abnormal mental state for about 2 years now, and I'm only beginning to find the tip of the iceberg. But, I really need to hear it from the horse's mouth, is what I'm about to describe OCD, or something else?
When I was in high school (I'm a 3rd year university student now), I was very religious, as I was raised to be. I had been going to mass every sunday since I was a kid, when all of a sudden I started having this awful problem in church: I felt like I was going to be possessed by a demon/satan, and I felt like I was going to yell obscenities or even just a loud yell in the middle of mass, especially when it was mostly quiet. The thing is, I never actually did. However, it caused me so much distress that I eventually ended up not going to mass again.
I had the same problem lying in bed at night, and really any other time I was in a room alone. I would start thinking about the devil, and it started to feel like he was trying to take over, because I would get all red and hot, and my heartrate would skyrocket. I would repeat the phrase "Satan is evil, Jesus is lord" over and over again to make it stop, and this continued until decided to stop believing in religion before going to college. I didnt have the reaction to suppress the thought, so it just went away.
During the same time, just after puberty, I started having this extremely embarrassing and, I felt, sinful random intrusion into my brain. Basically, out of nowhere, I would get up close and personal images of the genitalia of my teachers, parents, brothers, and even pastor when I saw them, and I would have to suppress it multiple times whenever I saw anyone I really really REALLY didn't want to see that way, especially people who I find in no way attractive, both men and women. This same thing continues to happen. It's extremely anxiety-provoking, and relatively frequent (I spend most of my time alone or on campus, where there are very few old and/or fat people).
So what do you think? Do I have OCD?
~Mateo
I've been dealing with my abnormal mental state for about 2 years now, and I'm only beginning to find the tip of the iceberg. But, I really need to hear it from the horse's mouth, is what I'm about to describe OCD, or something else?
When I was in high school (I'm a 3rd year university student now), I was very religious, as I was raised to be. I had been going to mass every sunday since I was a kid, when all of a sudden I started having this awful problem in church: I felt like I was going to be possessed by a demon/satan, and I felt like I was going to yell obscenities or even just a loud yell in the middle of mass, especially when it was mostly quiet. The thing is, I never actually did. However, it caused me so much distress that I eventually ended up not going to mass again.
I had the same problem lying in bed at night, and really any other time I was in a room alone. I would start thinking about the devil, and it started to feel like he was trying to take over, because I would get all red and hot, and my heartrate would skyrocket. I would repeat the phrase "Satan is evil, Jesus is lord" over and over again to make it stop, and this continued until decided to stop believing in religion before going to college. I didnt have the reaction to suppress the thought, so it just went away.
During the same time, just after puberty, I started having this extremely embarrassing and, I felt, sinful random intrusion into my brain. Basically, out of nowhere, I would get up close and personal images of the genitalia of my teachers, parents, brothers, and even pastor when I saw them, and I would have to suppress it multiple times whenever I saw anyone I really really REALLY didn't want to see that way, especially people who I find in no way attractive, both men and women. This same thing continues to happen. It's extremely anxiety-provoking, and relatively frequent (I spend most of my time alone or on campus, where there are very few old and/or fat people).
So what do you think? Do I have OCD?
~Mateo
