Is this OCD or something else?

Anu

New member
I am 41 year old male, running my own business, married with two kids and having reasonably good physical health. That is public profile!

Now private.

I believe I had a bad childhood experience. Not 'brutal' but just not having enough love.(That also is a common accusation by all psychiatric patients. LOL). I have a very good 'pedigree' of a psychiatric lineage!

From my childhood onwards I was interested in action and thriller books and films. About the age of 17 which was the critical age of ones 'education', I started having obsessive thoughts. They were about physical torture being done by security agencies or military. I am not saying that I was afraid that somebody will pick me and do that to me. I just keep thinking about the agony involved.(No compulsive actions was involved) I think it is more horrible than real situation since this is long standing.I understood it is a disease and after two years of silent suffering a consulted a psychiatrist and started some "Depsonil".The thoughts were disappeared from the surface even though some news about a physical torture can trigger a chill in my mind. But it was manageable. My studies was ruined and naturally I was then exposed to a lot of stressful situations in life and I can say I survived.(I tapered the medicine and got free from that by staying on a brink between comfort and suffering.)

Now years after it started striking again.Now more features are added to the thought gallery. Kids being hurt (violently!) and so on!(usual stuff!)

Again consulted doctor and this time he started fluvoxine 50mg.

My work is greatly affected. Always wandering thoughts. Also family issues and other day today life situations which are very silly things also started causing worries which are sustaining.

My psychiatrist is not very explanatory. I think he do not like to discuss issues with those who search internet to get medical info and ask unwanted questions to doctors.(May be he didn't just have enough time)

Please advice me on my situation.Is it OCD? I have no actions involved before. Nowadays when this strikes I immediately tight my fists.

I tapered and stopped fluvoxine since was not getting enough results. But situation is more worse now. I am planning to revisit him. Before that I would like to have a good understanding about my situation.

Also nowadays I started having some erectile dysfunctions. That is why I was interested in stopping fluvoxine. But even after stopping fluvoxine erection is not very good without the help of tadafil.

Looking for some helpful info.
 
Hey Anu,
I don't have any sort of authority to say what is going on for you, but I would really recommend talking to a doctor who is not a psychiatrist- perhaps someone who is a psychologist and wants to work with you to talk about these things.
Lots of times people give us pills as the quickest fix, but perhaps your thoughts are serving some sort of purpose that a psychologist can help you get to the bottom of. At any rate, it helps to feel like the person has the time to really talk with you about your issues and feelings, especially if you feel you did not get enough love as a child- part of the psychologist's function is sometimes to serve in that spot of the loving parent that so many of us did not have.
Good luck on your journey!
 

winter67

Member
Hi

I would recommend talking to a psychologist also. I saw psychiatrist for years and they didn’t know what was going on with me other than that standard list of questions that they ask every one. 15 min sessions are not long enough to know any person. Your psychologist will work with your psychiatrist to let them know where your at mentally and what’s the best course of meds if any that you really need. It will not always be that easy opening up to someone especially for people like us who already feel awkward. But if your honest it helps.:)
 
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