I'd never really thought that I might have OCD until I read a few descriptions of the disorder in its entirety on a number of medical websites. After having a look at this forum and seeing everyone's own personal experiences of it, I'm beginning to think I might have it too. I've always told people I know that I might have it, but, because most of the things I 'do' which might be symptoms of OCD are mental, everyone always tells me I don't.
I've always been a bit 'odd' I think. You know you occasionally meet a strange child who twitches or seems to be going over things constantly in their head? That was me. As far as I can remember, I started having an eye 'tick' when I was around nine or ten years of age. The thing that I started doing would be to blink with one eye, occasionally keeping the eye closed, using the side of my nose that I could see to draw a line downwards, forming a 'wall' in my mind. Now, sometimes this would be used subtley to 'cut' people I didn't like out of conversations, or just to match up with lines in real life - corners of rooms, streetlamps, y'know, anything vertical. I still have this tick, and I still do it for similar reasons, but I've now managed to hone it to the extent that it's subtle enough that people don't notice and think I'm strange.
Another thing which I've had a problem with for as long as I can remember, is to do with thoughts. I seem to have that very typical thing that a lot of those with OCD do, the whole 'switching the lightswitch on and off' scenario. For example, when I click the light off, I have to think of something 'nice' while I do it, if I don't, I worry that the horrible thing I've thought about while pressing the switch might one day come true, and I have to turn the light on again, think of something nice, and then switch it off. I sometimes repeat this for several minutes before being completely contented. This goes for all sorts of things - activating or deactivation my computer, locking my phone's keypad, washing my hands, checking under my bed (yes, I still do that, another area of discussion, perhaps?) closing and locking doors, sometimes even things like tying my shoelaces or typing words on a keyboard. I know in my mind that these negative thoughts I think up are often completely farfetched and impossible, and I know consciously that none of them will come true. I also know that I usually find myself stood there turning lights on and off all over the place, often while my girlfriend is waiting to go to sleep. I'm surprised she hasn't said anything. We did have a little episode some time ago where I broke down, explaining to her how it's all driving me insane, but I think I was just irate. Whatever I'm doing is something I've done for ages now, so I'm used to it.
Aside from these two major things that I find myself doing, I often alphbetise my CD's, DVD's and video games. I don't put my books and comics in alphabetical order; instead these are in order of size, usually, when arranging a room (when I moved into my rooms at university, for example) organising these was the first thing I did before anything else!
I'm sure there are things I've missed out. So I'll edit this if anything springs to mind (unless it's a negative thought, in which case I'll probably delete and re-write this whole sentence!) Just wondering if you guys have any thoughts? It's reassuring to know I'm not just being weird.
I've always been a bit 'odd' I think. You know you occasionally meet a strange child who twitches or seems to be going over things constantly in their head? That was me. As far as I can remember, I started having an eye 'tick' when I was around nine or ten years of age. The thing that I started doing would be to blink with one eye, occasionally keeping the eye closed, using the side of my nose that I could see to draw a line downwards, forming a 'wall' in my mind. Now, sometimes this would be used subtley to 'cut' people I didn't like out of conversations, or just to match up with lines in real life - corners of rooms, streetlamps, y'know, anything vertical. I still have this tick, and I still do it for similar reasons, but I've now managed to hone it to the extent that it's subtle enough that people don't notice and think I'm strange.
Another thing which I've had a problem with for as long as I can remember, is to do with thoughts. I seem to have that very typical thing that a lot of those with OCD do, the whole 'switching the lightswitch on and off' scenario. For example, when I click the light off, I have to think of something 'nice' while I do it, if I don't, I worry that the horrible thing I've thought about while pressing the switch might one day come true, and I have to turn the light on again, think of something nice, and then switch it off. I sometimes repeat this for several minutes before being completely contented. This goes for all sorts of things - activating or deactivation my computer, locking my phone's keypad, washing my hands, checking under my bed (yes, I still do that, another area of discussion, perhaps?) closing and locking doors, sometimes even things like tying my shoelaces or typing words on a keyboard. I know in my mind that these negative thoughts I think up are often completely farfetched and impossible, and I know consciously that none of them will come true. I also know that I usually find myself stood there turning lights on and off all over the place, often while my girlfriend is waiting to go to sleep. I'm surprised she hasn't said anything. We did have a little episode some time ago where I broke down, explaining to her how it's all driving me insane, but I think I was just irate. Whatever I'm doing is something I've done for ages now, so I'm used to it.
Aside from these two major things that I find myself doing, I often alphbetise my CD's, DVD's and video games. I don't put my books and comics in alphabetical order; instead these are in order of size, usually, when arranging a room (when I moved into my rooms at university, for example) organising these was the first thing I did before anything else!
I'm sure there are things I've missed out. So I'll edit this if anything springs to mind (unless it's a negative thought, in which case I'll probably delete and re-write this whole sentence!) Just wondering if you guys have any thoughts? It's reassuring to know I'm not just being weird.
