Is there a cure for SA

[livingdgirl07]

I'm just coming from a failed suicide attempt-not surprising as I fail at pretty much everything. The only correct thing I've heard people say about those who are suicidal is that they don't want to die but they don't want to live with the pain anymore.

If there was another option I would take it but when I look at the forum or talk to others with this problem I don't see a lot of people getting better. There are things I want to accomplish and I can't as long as I have the social phobia.

Its not just fear of social situations, its the fact that I really don't know what to do in social situations. Therapists try to help me with the anxiety but they don't change how socially awkward I am.

Is there a way to teach an adult how to interact with people? Can we actually help the source of the problem. I wouldn't necessarily have the social anxiety if I knew how to deal with people the correct way.

Is there actually a cure for SA or is the whole point just to medicate you until you're content with the fact that it will never change?

 

[coyote]

...Is there a way to teach an adult how to interact with people?...

unfortunately, i think it's one of those things that you can't learn to do without doing it

it's like riding a bike

it's scary, and you can crash, but the only way to do it is to jump on and start pedaling

as you move forward and find your rhythm, you'll soon wonder what all the fuss was about

 

[NP88]

Social interaction is a learned trait. I think we social phobics, while intelligent enough to learn and create and be productive in our own right, cannot correctly deal with everyday situations. I believe this is due to a problem in the way our emotional system functions. For me I know due to trial and error that I have an issue with my seratonin system. When the imbalance is corrected I feel perfectly fine. In other words, it'sa completely organic problem and that with the right medicine ( natural only IMO ) it can be overcome. I don't mean to preach antidepressant rhetoric as Im not saying pop some pills and everything will be better, Im against that wholeheartedly. Im saying do some research, note what makes you feel better, find out why that is so chemically, and go from there. And one more thing. Only you can save you from yourself. The world is not the problem, it's the way you interpret it. Change how you think through cognative means or through correcting chemical imbalances and I hope that you will see results. I hope you find some peace in your life. PM me if you need anything.

 

[jojo77]

i feel you, im sure lots of people here do. i don't know if you can actually be cured or just learn how to be happier with the life you have.

ill take either or, but i have still yet to find a therapist that makes me feel better either.

i know of a concept, people always say to lie to yourself. give yourself a pep talk before you're in the situation, like...you're awesome, and no body has proof to say otherwise. or, for a more "sa" related and more realistic pep talk you could just think to yourself...im only one person out of 6 billion, how much could these people really care about me, or how "wierd" i am or might be.

stuff like that you know? its kinda cheesy, but it helps me sometimes, because once i can get inside my own head and sort of override my way of thinking temporarily, i'll be able to get through the grocery store a little better, or what ever the situation is.

with that said, i know that's not going to work once and bam! you're cured! but it might help a little bit.

i think another thing that helps me get through my days is my daughter. she is my little ray of sunshine, and i think that if you could invest yourself into something, a hobby or something it might take your mind off of your SA for a few hours a day. maybe take a class of something you enjoy doing...set a goal with yourself to try to interact with someone each time you go to class.

im in school now, and its helping a lot! i also just took up couponing, mostly because it's fun for me, but it also involves the one thing in the world that i hate! the grocery store! im stumbling still with it, sometimes i wont go, but when i do i know that its good exposure and i feel better knowing i made it through it without dieing! lol

 

[deleted #89]

See there is a huge misconception going on on this site or in general about Social anxiety. You CAN interact with people. The " problem" is your self-defeating THINKING PATTERNS that prevent you from moving forward. Its basically you sabotaging yourself into thinking that you can not accomplish a task.

Also this is not about positive/magical thinking. What you have to do is to restructure and QUESTION every self-defeating thought that you have during the day. Get the book Mind-lines by Micheal Hall or any other book that will give you tools to restructure your bad behavioral patterns. The reason why people have a hard time getting over this SA is because they stay in that state and never question it. They assume that since they feel bad/awkward then that's how it is.

You choose how you feel and interpret your own external behaviors. Nobody is doing anything to you but yourself. If your inner voice is mean to yourself then guess what happens ?

 

[NP88]

See there is a huge misconception going on on this site or in general about Social anxiety. You CAN interact with people. The " problem" is your self-defeating THINKING PATTERNS that prevent you from moving forward. Its basically you sabotaging yourself into thinking that you can not accomplish a task. Also this is not about positive/magical thinking. What you have to do is to restructure and QUESTION every self-defeating thought that you have during the day. Get the book Mind-lines by Micheal Hall or any other book that will give you tools to restructure your bad behavioral patterns. The reason why people have a hard time getting over this SA is because they stay in that state and never question it. They assume that since they feel bad/awkward then that's how it is...You choose how you feel and interpret your own external behavior. Nobody is doing anything to you but yourself. If your inner voice is mean to yourself then guess what happens ?

Very good advice.

 

[harwee anne]

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

There is a cure if you want anything bad enough you can have it, Instead of giving up on the most precious gift you have, work on it, my SA has got a lot better over the years because I made myself get out, you have to think what's the worst thing that could happen if I talk to this person? rejection you'll never know until you try. Never give up

 

[livingdgirl07]

You CAN interact with people. The " problem" is your self-defeating THINKING PATTERNS that prevent you from moving forward. Its basically you sabotaging yourself into thinking that you can not accomplish a task.

I have no doubt that in certain situations you are right but not in all. I'm sorry but sometimes I keep myself thinking that my social interactions are going to be bad but there are times when they are in fact bad. When I'm not sure how to act with people or what to say. And there are times that I do and say things that are inappropriate.

There are plenty of people who with or without thinking that they are socially awkward are still socially awkward. There is a certain way people are supposed to interact with each other.

 

[livingdgirl07]

Social interaction is a learned trait. I think we social phobics, while intelligent enough to learn and create and be productive in our own right, cannot correctly deal with everyday situations. I believe this is due to a problem in the way our emotional system functions. For me I know due to trial and error that I have an issue with my seratonin system. When the imbalance is corrected I feel perfectly fine. In other words, it'sa completely organic problem and that with the right medicine ( natural only IMO ) it can be overcome.

I agree with you but I've been on many medications and none of them have helped. Some made me too drowsy to be anxious! Others helped my depression but did nothing for my SA. What medication worked for you?

 

[livingdgirl07]

There is a cure if you want anything bad enough you can have it, Instead of giving up on the most precious gift you have, work on it, my SA has got a lot better over the years because I made myself get out, you have to think what's the worst thing that could happen if I talk to this person? rejection you'll never know until you try. Never give up

I'm glad that it was that easy for you. I have made myself go out. I spent high school in Europe so was going out with friends since I was 14 years old. I forced myself to date, I have only worked in jobs that require me to be sociable.

The result- my social anxiety is worse than ever. Being out in the real world made it worse. I've chased away guys with my awkward personality. Going out also doesn't stop the ruminating thoughts. Every single day I play out what happened during the day over and over until I nearly have a panic attack.

 

[livingdgirl07]

i feel you, im sure lots of people here do. i don't know if you can actually be cured or just learn how to be happier with the life you have.

ill take either or, but i have still yet to find a therapist that makes me feel better either.

i know of a concept, people always say to lie to yourself. give yourself a pep talk before you're in the situation, like...you're awesome, and no body has proof to say otherwise. or, for a more "sa" related and more realistic pep talk you could just think to yourself...im only one person out of 6 billion, how much could these people really care about me, or how "wierd" i am or might be.

stuff like that you know? its kinda cheesy, but it helps me sometimes, because once i can get inside my own head and sort of override my way of thinking temporarily, i'll be able to get through the grocery store a little better, or what ever the situation is.

with that said, i know that's not going to work once and bam! you're cured! but it might help a little bit.

Your post actually really helped. I will try some of these sometime!

You got me thinking that maybe my problem is OCD because I can't stop my ruminating thoughts or find other things to do. My anxiety is so bad I can't think about anything else.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm just coming from a failed suicide attempt-not surprising as I fail at pretty much everything.

First of all, I'm sorry to hear you came from a recent suicide attempt. You must be feeling really at your end for it to happen.

Now I'm not sure if there's a simple cure, but it does take a long time. Therapy is probably the best thing you can do, but maybe you need psychiatry, as it sounds like yours is getting quite bad.

All I can really suggest is try to be social with people who you are comfortable with, and work from there into meeting some new people. It is scary - I overcompensate, actually - but if you are nice to people, then there's no problems.

Also, you don't fail at everything. That's ultra-negative thinking and it's plain incorrect.

 

[EscapeArtist]

From what I've experienced, the only cure is a reversal of the cause. For me the cause is physical, hormonal, and only a tiny bit mental coming from my lack of experience causing doubt. But mainly I have experienced SA and severe depression going away after you control your blood sugar, eliminate unknown food intolerances (used to be suicidal depressed and see minor visual hallucinations and then realized it was due to having a gluten intolerance, cut it out and those two went away) and rid candida. Only after doing this supplement vitamin D, vitamin B12, eat foods very high in magnesium, and zinc...
Still in the process so I'm not walking proof of social-enlightenment or anything but step by step, getting there.
I realize now that when I was suicidal, I was so messed up biologically that I was not who I am.

 

[dzerklis]

Maybe in distant future when anyone's DNA can be modified, or nano robots can be injected, or augmentations installed, or whatever. Today the only solution is isolation.

 

[jojo77]

Your post actually really helped. I will try some of these sometime!

You got me thinking that maybe my problem is OCD because I can't stop my ruminating thoughts or find other things to do. My anxiety is so bad I can't think about anything else.

glad i could help! i had a therapist tell me that i had a touch of OCD when it came to the way i was thinking about things, it didnt make sense to me at first, but once i started to notice it, i starting thinking of ways that i could maybe change or redirect my thinking patterns.

i still sweat my freaking A** off when im at a check out counter or school, or anywhere really, but i try to only let my mind, if anything focus on that, and not wonder...because then im out of breath and spiral out of control into a panic.

ps.
i know the feeling, i wake up thinking about it, and fall asleep the same way most of the time.
but i think the most important thing to think about is the fact that you're alive. so try hard everyday to make the most of it!!!

 

[da_illest101]

See there is a huge misconception going on on this site or in general about Social anxiety. You CAN interact with people. The " problem" is your self-defeating THINKING PATTERNS that prevent you from moving forward. Its basically you sabotaging yourself into thinking that you can not accomplish a task.

Also this is not about positive/magical thinking. What you have to do is to restructure and QUESTION every self-defeating thought that you have during the day. Get the book Mind-lines by Micheal Hall or any other book that will give you tools to restructure your bad behavioral patterns. The reason why people have a hard time getting over this SA is because they stay in that state and never question it. They assume that since they feel bad/awkward then that's how it is.

You choose how you feel and interpret your own external behaviors. Nobody is doing anything to you but yourself. If your inner voice is mean to yourself then guess what happens ?

probably the most meaningful post I ever read on this site. The day I understood that concept was the day I started really improving my social skills for real. I'm far more comfortable around people now that I was a year ago and SA hasn't been my focus for while

 

[sai]

chillup man i mean babe .... the only cure is u...!! yes what u read is true...u r the cure...!! when ever u feel bad.... just say "Ahh i m such a losssser" and smile everything wll be fine... thats what i do and u know what.. it works..

 

[deleted #89]

probably the most meaningful post I ever read on this site. The day I understood that concept was the day I started really improving my social skills for real. I'm far more comfortable around people now that I was a year ago and SA hasn't been my focus for while

Cool man.... Its not easy but it all can be " fix " if you put the work into it.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Is there actually a cure for SA or is the whole point just to medicate you until you're content with the fact that it will never change?

I often wonder the same thing. I know that we do have to come to terms with our situation, and in some way come to accept it. That doesn't mean we give up, but we do have to be realistic.

I'm just coming from a failed suicide attempt-not surprising as I fail at pretty much everything. The only correct thing I've heard people say about those who are suicidal is that they don't want to die but they don't want to live with the pain anymore.

You must be in a lot of pain. I wish I could say something or do something to help, but all I can say is that I understand and can relate. I have attempted suicide before and I contemplate it a lot now. And it true what those people say, we really don't want to die but the pain is unbearable.

There is no easy fix, but you know that. A couple of positive affirmations won't change things, and neither would talking to a couple of people or reading a book. Our problems go much deeper than that. Medications never did much for me either; I do hear they help a lot of people though, especially getting through rough patches. Could be worth a shot. There are all kinds of medications, and some are fast acting like Xanax. I will be looking into getting a prescription myself one of these days, hopefully sooner than later.

Someone once told me that she was very depressed, and that doing simple tasks like eating or getting dressed was sometimes too much for her so she would just stay in bed. Then she tried a different approach. For every little thing she managed to do, like getting out of bed, brushing her teeth, she would pat herself on the back and that helped her get through her day. I always think about that when I feel particularly down. It is not a cure, but it is a way to cope for the time being.

Anything is possible. We can overcome our SA. Like they say, while there is still life there is hope. I am here if you ever want to talk. PM me or message me. Take care.

 

[coyote]

i believe that much of our disappointment in life, our anxiety over what others think, and our unhappiness with ourselves - which we post about here in so many different ways - can be traced back to the unrealistic expectations we hold (of ourselves as well as others)

why do we think people should behave a certain way?

why do we think the world should be different than it is?

why do we think we should live up to a particular standard?

where did these expectations come from?

is there any any validity to them?

who taught us to think this way?

could we just as easily begin thinking in a different way instead?