Is social anxiety another term for trauma?

[nesh]

I've been thinking this lately... When I look back at my childhood most of it seems to be traumatic and very dysfunctional. Maybe it wouldn't be traumatic to the average person, but if you are a sensitive kid that is shy you are more likely to find things traumatic because you can't find your voice or you are not as strong minded as other people. Can you relate?

I've written an indepth list of all the traumatic events in my life. I know there are a ton of people worse of than me but I wanted to see if there is a link, like emotional/physical/sexual/verbal abuse. Personally I believe I have been in denial all my life. I have always adopted some form of coping mechanism since the age of 5.

 

[dottie]

yes, this makes a lot of sense. i think that the coping mechanisms i've developed since a very young age are just not the social norm (fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, being submissive, not expressing myself verbally etc). for whatever reason i don't think i had an awareness of a "social norm" to conform those coping mechanisms to. but yeah, i think it all stems from being a sensitive kid going through tramatic experiences without people they could trust for emotional support.

 

[Doomed2Die]

Maybe... maybe that its our tendancy to overblow things thus envoking pain and trauma on par to the real thing, maybe even worse. A snowball-esk style of negative thinking, and mental anguish.

In that respect I can say that makes plenty of sense, for personally the pain is nothing less than daily torture on vairing levels, peaking at secondary school-now so far.

*sigh* The effects and subsequent divisions of simply being over sensative are more hard to discribe to someone than SA itself. Maybe 'highly depressed' 'extremely shy' will do, thats alot of things wrapped into four neat words and a bunch eaiser than explaining SA/SP-Agrophobia+(others).

 

[silentbutdeadly]

As far as having supposedly traumatic experiences myself while growing up...
Being laughed at by a group of people in school many times when I did something embarrassing.
Having to introduce myself in summer camp, with the instructor making light of the fact that I "seem a little shy", getting the rest of the group to laugh.
After my first basketball game in 5th grade, my dad angrily told me, "You suck." This was his way of giving "constructive criticism."
Other kids generally picking on me because I seemed to give off the aura of "go ahead, I won't fight back."
I have always been the less favorite child of my parents, and there are way too many instances showing this obvious fact. Making it worse, my brother never seemed to notice that he was the favorite, so he'd take every opportunity he had to make me look bad.
Being the youngest in my immediate and extended family led to me being picked on in various ways as well.
I guess most of this could be classified as emotional/psychological/sometimes verbal abuse.
(Edit: I wanted to add that I don't think these experiences are the main cause of my being socially anxious...I think that the main cause is simply biological...and these experiences have just served to reinforce my social anxiety)

There are more examples...now that I think about it, they're probably not as bad as what a lot of the people here could list.

yes, this makes a lot of sense. i think that the coping mechanisms i've developed since a very young age are just not the social norm (fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, being submissive, not expressing myself verbally etc). for whatever reason i don't think i had an awareness of a "social norm" to conform those coping mechanisms to. but yeah, i think it all stems from being a sensitive kid going through tramatic experiences without people they could trust for emotional support.

Ditto to everything you said. Except I definitely had an awareness of a social norm, but it just made me feel so different from everyone and hopeless about ever becoming "normal." I'm now trying to fight the idea that I can simply change who I fundamentally am, but instead have some self-confidence and try get to the point where I can at least do things like go to a store without being terrified to death/feeling judged. In other words, we need to try to get rid of the false belief that these everyday experiences are just a series of traumatic experiences. I think the key to that is gaining some self-respect. ...I hope some of that made sense.

 

[shon]

I was always a shy kid. I am so much like my mom. My dad is the total opposite. He was mentally abusive and enjoyed being the center of attention. He spent all his time telling me and my brother we should be like so-and-so's kids and my mom should do things like so-and-so's wife. Everybody else was right, better, smarter, etc. He humiliated us on a regular basis because that made him feel good. He made us feel like what everybody else thought was important and that we were just not good at anything. I was always nice to kids at school. I easily became a doormat and even my best friend in elementary school picked fights with me to entertain herself. I wouldn't fight back so I'd get my butt kicked.

My "shyness" has turned into something way bigger. I constantly worry about what people think about me. I can't make eye contact with people and I feel trapped. I can't even walk out to the mailbox without worrying that the neighbor might see me and talk to me. Then I have to worry all afternoon that I looked stupid or said something stupid. The anxiety makes me run when I really want friends. My biggest problem is that I can't make phone calls except to my mom. When it comes to calling the Dr or dentist, I won't do it. My husband just started doing it for me because I will end up dying of something before I make a phone call! I've had many bad experiences on the phone talking to rude receptionists in clinics so they make me worry the most. I used to think I was just weird, I didn't know there was a name for the way I am. Most people don't understand.

My brother is not shy and he doesn't have social anxieties. He's an outgoing "people" person. He has lots of friends. No matter how my dad treated him, it didn't get to him. Me, I get so nervous I don't even talk right around people!

 

[dottie]

I was always a shy kid. I am so much like my mom. My dad is the total opposite. He was mentally abusive and enjoyed being the center of attention. He spent all his time telling me and my brother we should be like so-and-so's kids and my mom should do things like so-and-so's wife. Everybody else was right, better, smarter, etc. He humiliated us on a regular basis because that made him feel good. He made us feel like what everybody else thought was important and that we were just not good at anything. I was always nice to kids at school. I easily became a doormat and even my best friend in elementary school picked fights with me to entertain herself. I wouldn't fight back so I'd get my butt kicked.

My "shyness" has turned into something way bigger. I constantly worry about what people think about me. I can't make eye contact with people and I feel trapped. I can't even walk out to the mailbox without worrying that the neighbor might see me and talk to me. Then I have to worry all afternoon that I looked stupid or said something stupid. The anxiety makes me run when I really want friends. My biggest problem is that I can't make phone calls except to my mom. When it comes to calling the Dr or dentist, I won't do it. My husband just started doing it for me because I will end up dying of something before I make a phone call! I've had many bad experiences on the phone talking to rude receptionists in clinics so they make me worry the most. I used to think I was just weird, I didn't know there was a name for the way I am. Most people don't understand.

My brother is not shy and he doesn't have social anxieties. He's an outgoing "people" person. He has lots of friends. No matter how my dad treated him, it didn't get to him. Me, I get so nervous I don't even talk right around people!

relate. relate. relate.

my mom always tried to humiliate me since a very young age, too, and got others to laugh with her at me. i would turn so red, beg her to stop, hide, and cry- and she got off on that. it's like it elevated her. she would also compare me to other kids and focus on how we looked to other people. she would turn my brother on me (who she definitely favored) to fight with me- wtf kind of parent does that? she would belittle me and degrade me any chance she got. these are a few examples, there are others i could list. i was a sensitive kid who really needed an emotional boost, extra nurturing, but instead i felt like i got emotionally kicked from the person who mattered most, and that resulted in much harm.

a lot of people would scoff at the word "harm" simply because they do not understand social anxiety and all the ramifications. sure, i'm functioning. sure, i get by. it's a struggle. but if i was raised by someone other than her i believe i would've turned into a much more successful, independant, confident, more stable, and happier person. i feel like i had so much potential and that is something that was stolen from me. by her.

i could go on and on right now. i think i need therapy haha but i will stop while this is relevant.

 

[flake__]

I just think traumatic experiences as a child cause these kind of things, such as SP, or other stuff like depression, alcoholism, anorexia etc. So alot of SP-ers probs has had a traumatic childhood

 

[rado31]

I just think traumatic experiences as a child cause these kind of things, such as SP, or other stuff like depression, alcoholism, anorexia etc. So alot of SP-ers probs has had a traumatic childhood

hmmm....may i contradict by my example? I dont remeber any major trauma in my life. In my case it is bad parenting or i'd better say un-understanding parents. I'd rather not talk about because i m still co-dependant on them, mostly emotionaly. Because i havent got anyone in life due to a complicated panicky behaviour of mine [sp] especially recently.

In most cases traumatized people acts like sp, but they are not equal.

I know some people from my secondary school , one guy and one girl. they look very much like sp , but i couldnt differ wheter they are some ptsp. Then again there is a great probability of ptsp wxere i live . Well, every case is different.

 

[flake__]

relate. relate. relate.

my mom always tried to humiliate me since a very young age, too, and got others to laugh with her at me. i would turn so red, beg her to stop, hide, and cry- and she got off on that. it's like it elevated her. she would also compare me to other kids and focus on how we looked to other people. she would turn my brother on me (who she definitely favored) to fight with me- wtf kind of parent does that? she would belittle me and degrade me any chance she got. these are a few examples, there are others i could list. i was a sensitive kid who really needed an emotional boost, extra nurturing, but instead i felt like i got emotionally kicked from the person who mattered most, and that resulted in much harm.

a lot of people would scoff at the word "harm" simply because they do not understand social anxiety and all the ramifications. sure, i'm functioning. sure, i get by. it's a struggle. but if i was raised by someone other than her i believe i would've turned into a much more successful, independant, confident, more stable, and happier person. i feel like i had so much potential and that is something that was stolen from me. by her.

i could go on and on right now. i think i need therapy haha but i will stop while this is relevant.

:O that's awful!! for your own mum to do that. have you ever heard of hypnoanalysis it's supposed to be good for this kind of thing.

Mine was my sister, humiliation, mind games, putting me down, tricking me, shaming etc. She controlled me, if i ever did anything that was against her rules, like talk to someone! say something funny! wear cool clothes etc i would pay. She would totally lose control and look like she was gonna kill me lol. I was terrified of her, think my fear transferred from her to people in general.

And my SP came from, feeling safe when i was alone, in my bedroom, without her.