So, this is my first real post...
From what I've read here and some other places, comes around the debate if love-shyness it's a condition by itself or just a form af another condition (SAD AvPD, Asperger's...). I don't think that we should focus in the mistakes of Brian Gilmartin (the proposer of the concept) like the astrology mumble jumble or the rigurosity of his investigation. I think that our arguments should come from our personal experiences, and if someone with the appropiate professional formation could give us opinions, welcome then.
First, gotta say I haven't been diagnosed by a professional, so I don't know if my case matches with a recognized condition. I think I'm love shy as I've never had a girlfriend, because I've been too afraid too aproach to a woman or just start a conversation if I don't feel that I have a "real" exuse, like job or study (in the case of study, I can't came up with that classic plot to ask for help to a girl I like with some subject, even if I do need someone to explain me, because the whole thing seems too obvious to me). So at 22, I've never even kissed a girl, and the las time I had a female friend was when I was 5. I can't tell you about my experiences being aproached by women, because if someone did sometime show interest in me, I wasn't aware due to my lack of social skills, also, where I live the women who aproaches the guy are 1 in a million.
Around men I'm shy but there's nothig severe, I can manage to socialize, not like the soul of the party (well, I don't go to parties) but not an outsider neither. When I feel that I have a real excuse there's no problem with me, I've worked succesfully as a saleman, to the point of selling clothing to very beautiful women; I was a bit nervous, but I'll say I was as nervous as most people is when they socialize.
The thing is that there are guys (and gals) like me who have this very specific extreme shyness which only affects us when it comes to the people we are romantically interested in. So, is this love-shyness, a condition waiting for serious research, recognition and treatments, or something else?
I'm listening...
From what I've read here and some other places, comes around the debate if love-shyness it's a condition by itself or just a form af another condition (SAD AvPD, Asperger's...). I don't think that we should focus in the mistakes of Brian Gilmartin (the proposer of the concept) like the astrology mumble jumble or the rigurosity of his investigation. I think that our arguments should come from our personal experiences, and if someone with the appropiate professional formation could give us opinions, welcome then.
First, gotta say I haven't been diagnosed by a professional, so I don't know if my case matches with a recognized condition. I think I'm love shy as I've never had a girlfriend, because I've been too afraid too aproach to a woman or just start a conversation if I don't feel that I have a "real" exuse, like job or study (in the case of study, I can't came up with that classic plot to ask for help to a girl I like with some subject, even if I do need someone to explain me, because the whole thing seems too obvious to me). So at 22, I've never even kissed a girl, and the las time I had a female friend was when I was 5. I can't tell you about my experiences being aproached by women, because if someone did sometime show interest in me, I wasn't aware due to my lack of social skills, also, where I live the women who aproaches the guy are 1 in a million.
Around men I'm shy but there's nothig severe, I can manage to socialize, not like the soul of the party (well, I don't go to parties) but not an outsider neither. When I feel that I have a real excuse there's no problem with me, I've worked succesfully as a saleman, to the point of selling clothing to very beautiful women; I was a bit nervous, but I'll say I was as nervous as most people is when they socialize.
The thing is that there are guys (and gals) like me who have this very specific extreme shyness which only affects us when it comes to the people we are romantically interested in. So, is this love-shyness, a condition waiting for serious research, recognition and treatments, or something else?
I'm listening...
