Is it worth it?..

[DarkSeeker]

I'm gonna give one of my favorites quotes from my favorite character

"Upset the established order and everything becomes... Chaos.
I'm a agent of Chaos. Oh and the thing about chaos...
It's fair."

But how can the chaos that put us there be fair? That's nonsense right?

But chaos doesn't lie to you. If you feel pain, it's because you need to feel pain, and therefore feeling pain is a release and a simply a consequence of some happening. Chaos doesn't tell you what you want to hear, it tells you what you need to hear. In this view of the world, chaos is fair, and it's fair for everyone and everything.

Now the established order is pain, so upset it and you get rid of the agony.

No. Not in my experience of life. I have been in emotional pain since i was 8 years old. I am now 37.
Can someone tell me how anything can possibly make 29 years of this mental anguish be "worth it"?::

I've only been through 19 years of mental anguish, but in my experience what makes it worth it is that one fantastic moment when gravity is turned upside down and you fall right from the infernal hell into the majestic heavens.

 

[BlueDays]

I've only been through 19 years of mental anguish, but in my experience what makes it worth it is that one fantastic moment when gravity is turned upside down and you fall right from the infernal hell into the majestic heavens.

This is very interesting, would you be able to explain it further please?

 

[illuminationSP]

I guess time will tell.

 

[DarkSeeker]

This is very interesting, would you be able to explain it further please?

There's a point when you process and face off bad feelings and horrible memories where you get the same feeling you have when watching something like a beautiful landscape. The mind thinks you should feel bad about it, but the body feels the opposite, and then the memory lose all meanings. You can't feel the pain anymore, and feel happy for apparently no reason and despite the hell that lives inside of you.

It's like seeing the inner beauty sleeping deep within the heart of darkness itself.

 

[unleashed]

i like darkseekers thoughts on this one. every now and then (i'm 37 and i cant remember life without depression) i do actually feel happy. at those times i think ''i'm glad i'm still here to experience this''....i think depression is a kind of cancer and if i was on my bed crying from the pain of cancer instead of the pain of depression..well..yeah 90% of the time i want to die so it can just stop but occasionally..like one of my sons rare visits or a tv show that i get into enough to actually smile..i dunno but sometimes i think í'm glad i'm still here''...is it worth it..i dont know...i guess somewhere deep down i still have hope...maybe thats just some ridiculous survival instinct? if i hadn't survived i would have missed a lot of things that made me smile but yeah i would have missed a lot of pain and suffering too so..i suppose for me its still worth it on some level or i wouldn't be breathing.