Is it easier for SA ppl to become gay/bisexual?

[GIOLANDA]

I'm thinking about it these days. I'm not a gay or bisexual,just wonder if it's easier for a SA person to be like this,due to the difficulty of approaching the opposite sex. As I see,many of us have problems with the opposite sex,but I think it's always easier to approach the same sex. So,this fact can bring an attraction towards it and as years go on,a bisexuality or homosexuality may appear. What do you think about this?

 

[cLavain]

I don't know, but I think maybe the opposite is true, at least. Many homosexuals feel different (gay bashing is still fashionable in some circles), they may avoid their peers and may also develop SA. Not all gays are stereotypical flamboyant extroverts.

 

[dzerklis]

how do you become homosexual. people are born that way. it is caused by mutation in genes, at least thats what i was thought at school.

 

[LA-girl]

As I see,many of us have problems with the opposite sex,but I think it's always easier to approach the same sex.

For me it's really the other way around. I actually find it much easier in general to hang out with boys.... and for the record I find myself being less than a zero percent lesbian...

 

[thequietone]

I agree with dzerklis. I think it isn't something that forms, it isn't a choice. You have to be born that way.
I think people with SA and other Anxiety disorders may question their sexuality more than others because being around people in general is so strenuous and difficult.

 

[Diluted_Acid]

Through my own experiences and all, i choose to believe being gay or bi is just due to the way you were born, and not due to the circumstances placed on you. Growing up, i've had alot of difficulty with females (talking and even being next to), and everyone would always accuse me of being gay, so in my early teens i began trying to be gay . . . . . thinking maybe i am :? , because i could never reach orgasm thinkin about girls while some peers i knew could. I couldn't reach orgasm thinking about guys either, however i began feeling so distressed, that i would meet all these other gay, or confused teenagers on chat rooms, and then in the end i had a whole contacts list of gay people on msn. It was only by 15 or so when i could reach orgasm thinkin and such of girls that i realised i wasn't gay. Ok i hope this isn't too inapropriate , i'm known to go a bit overboard with things i say, and be a little to detailed and graphic, but it was 2 years of stress and confusion i was going through, and i'm just hoping maybe someone today in that postion might be able to see something in what i've said, because in my opinion your either gay, bi . . . . or you aren't, and i just hate to think of people still searching for their sexual orientation. Don't let bullies rule you either :x

 

[GIOLANDA]

how do you become homosexual. people are born that way. it is caused by mutation in genes, at least thats what i was thought at school.

Maybe,but I always used to think that nothing is only genetic. The environment has to do on everything. I think that it has to do on SA too. I think I would have been beter if I'd grown up in a more social environment. Now about the subject, I heard once of a girl being depressed again and again from boys and then she became a lesbian. So I wonder if sb may become like that due to life's circumstances.

 

[Elessaar]

I don't think so Giolanda. If that person can't approach another one from the opposite sex how can approach another from the same sex?The way people approach someone is only by how good looking is someone, they dont care about someone's inner self at the first time.

 

[Ddarko]

I can only speak for myself on this issue, but as someone with SA/SP I do have an incredibly hard time approaching the opposite sex and do find it easier to approach other guys and start conversations with them. I can sometimes strike up a conversation with a girl, but I never know what to do when it comes to moving beyond conversational formalities. With guys, on the other hand, if I feel like they are receptive to a certain level of friendship then I can relax a little knowing that the social standards generally don't expect any development along certain expected lines (like with the opposite sex, you always get asked "what's the status of the relationship," as if it should either remain definitely Platonic or otherwise become romantic but nowhere in between). So recently in my life I've come to think that I'm probably bisexual because I find myself thinking about other guys a lot (for a few years now, and in more than just a friend-like way). I think girls are attractive, and I can see myself possibly getting married and having a family someday, but I can't rule out the fact that being very shy or having social anxiety might be a factor when it comes to being attracted to guys. With a member of the same sex, for example, there is less pressure to develop the relationship as expected by society. Also, as a very shy guy, having a relationship with another guy is attractive because societal standards often assume that women take a more passive role than men whereas that doesn't play in the favor of shy guys. I don't actually think my SA/SP causes my same-sex attraction, but I do think that it might make it easier to prefer guys over girls when I have an attraction to both. Then again, maybe I'm just more gay than bisexual... I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

Sexuality is probably genetically determined to some degree, but also determined by chemicals in the womb and possibly by environmental development as a young child. It's not inconceivable that the same pre-natal or environmental factors influencing sexuality could also play into social anxiety or other personality factors... though such cases might be largely incidental.

 

[euphoria13]

I'm thinking about it these days. I'm not a gay or bisexual,just wonder if it's easier for a SA person to be like this,due to the difficulty of approaching the opposite sex. As I see,many of us have problems with the opposite sex,but I think it's always easier to approach the same sex. So,this fact can bring an attraction towards it and as years go on,a bisexuality or homosexuality may appear. What do you think about this?

I'm sorry but I disagree completely. I happen to know a guy that is gay and suffers from severe anxiety. Not only does he suffer with the anxiety itself but he has to deal with identity issues concerning his lifestyle too. Adding to that, he's been out of the closet (to coin an old term) for some time.

Being gay isn't a choice, it's who you are as a person, part of who you are. I do understand the issue of anxiety concerning approaching the opposite sex (or whoever you're attracted to) but there's stress there too, even for gay people.

 

[euphoria13]

Now about the subject, I heard once of a girl being depressed again and again from boys and then she became a lesbian. So I wonder if sb may become like that due to life's circumstances.

I don't think that she 'chose' to become a lesbian just at the spur of the moment. One g/f of mine, who claimed to be hetero all her life (suffered a lot of problems, depression, anxiety, confusion in general) figured out late in life that she was a lesbian. Some people are in denial about their true sexuality because of social pressures/expectations and want to fit in. Also, considering that she's in her 40s now, back when she and I were growing up, being anything but hetero was unacceptable.

I will say that it might be possible that you girl that you're talking about just wanted to experiment with other girls *shrugs*

Now that society is a little more accepting of people that aren't hetero, more people are allowing themselves to be more open to the idea that they might be gay/lesbian/be-sexual.

I will add that lesbian relationships (I have had a lot of friends that are both gay and lesbian) are not much different in tone than hetero relationships.. they have the same problems as everyone else.

 

[Quixote]

I don't know, but I think maybe the opposite is true, at least. Many homosexuals feel different (gay bashing is still fashionable in some circles), they may avoid their peers and may also develop SA. Not all gays are stereotypical flamboyant extroverts.

Exactly. There is probably a statistical connection between sexual orientation and social anxiety but it's more likely that the first causes (or helps gring about) the second rather than the opposite way around.

As I see,many of us have problems with the opposite sex,but I think it's always easier to approach the same sex.

Well, I'm not sure but I would bet it's the opposite way around, especially for girls. A reasonably attractive girl in special runs practically no risk of being rejected or made feel isolated by any guy, however oddly she behaves (short of randomly shooting at people with a rifle, or other such things)

 

[renegade]

I too though of becoming gay cause I had a hard time approaching girls I like. But that was just a thought.

Why should you pretend to be gay if you aren't attracted by the same sex :?: And you can convert either cause it's not like changing your religion or your name, it's what you feel.

It is a good ideea, but unless you're bi or allready gay, than it means lying to yourself.

 

[LA-girl]

Well, I'm not sure but I would bet it's the opposite way around, especially for girls. A reasonably attractive girl in special runs practically no risk of being rejected or made feel isolated by any guy, however oddly she behaves (short of randomly shooting at people with a rifle, or other such things)

If that happens to be the case with most/all guys then I think I would never want to be with any guy! 8O
But what I have learnt so far is that luckily there are some guys out there and hopefully in here (?) that are not that shallow. I really doubt that every guy on this planet would like to get hooked up with Paris Hilton only because she supposedly is beautiful?!

 

[HughJass]

I don't think it's easier to have a gay relationship when you have sa. Personally I think it would be harder. I could never bring myself to come on to a guy - and I kinda consider myself bi-sexual! At least with a girl you know the majority of them are hetero so you have a greater chance of not getting hit in the nose.

 

[Y]

Im gay, but its not because i have bad relationships with the opposite sex, in fact ive always had better relationships with girls than guys, most of my friends have been girls, but now as my phobia has gotten worse, i feel like both sexes are my opposite sex and im the odd one out.