Is having a baby selfish of me???

[Nadine333]

hey people,

would appreciate some views on this...... Me and my partner of 4 years are getting married in June (Yay!) but naturally i would like to fall pregnant as i feel i am ready to be a mother now. Me and my partner have discussed this and everythings great, we will start trying in June..... But........ Is it really fair for me to have a child??? As i have social phobia??? wouldnt it be cruel to pass it on??? when say... I cant talk to any of the other mothers in the play group etc etc my partner is very confident and a great people person will this out way my anxietys???

thanks for listening

Nadine xxx

 

[Nadine333]

Thanx Matt

Yeah I understand what your saying life goes on and Ive got to try and beat this. But i dont know if I could forgive myself if my child grows up with the pain ive had to suffer, obvoiusly i would do everything in my power to make them be happy and strong. But what if things get worse and i couldnt meet their teachers and things.... or am i being silly??? I cant work at the moment thats the kind of stage im at

 

[dzerklis]

i agree with The_Next_Level, but.. this is what wikipedia says:

Some psychologists suggest people with social phobia may acquire their fear from observing the behavior and consequences of others, a process called observational learning.

i acquired my SP by this observational learning (parents), but i dont regret i was born. I will beat this fucker.

 

[blubs]

hi Nadine,
I'm expecting my first baby...& I worry about the things you mentioned. I'm already nervous because I'll be expected to go to antenatal classes in a month or so & I feel panicky about it.
I don't feel selfish for having a baby though...although I'm worried about passing on my SA...the fact that I (like yourself) am worried about it shows that I am already wanting the best for my baby...& want it to be happy.
All sorts of people have families...so long as you want the children you have & make them feel loved & special that should be enough.
Thats what I hope any way!

 

[Nadine333]

Sometimes im confident on top of the world, and others i just cant face things, if im sounding positive now thats because im not working, when im working i get very highly stressed. I have been diagnosed emotionally unstable aswell even though i dont feel this way. should i wait untill im am able to work???

 

[Nadine333]

the best for my baby...& want it to be happy.
All sorts of people have families...so long as you want the children you have & make them feel loved & special that should be enough.
Thats what I hope any way!

Yeah thats what im hoping, Congradulations by the way!! Im dead jelouse!! theres nothing i want more, you lucky thing!!

I am going to stop being stupid now, and face things one day at a time, Cant wait until im Wadaling, craving for gerkins and icecream

Many thanx x

 

[blubs]

Thanks Nadine
I'm waddling now! & having trouble putting my shoes on...can't say I've craved gherkins & ice-cream though....only pies, cake & chocolate

Good luck with your wedding

 

[Coldy]

Hi Nadine

Me and my partner have recently (4 months ago) had a baby and i can tell you, it does change you and give you a focus...for me it actually took my mind off the SP for a while because all my efforts were on baby and i really just didnt have time to think about anything else.

Also i don't want my son to be like this....and i wont let it happen because no matter how hard it is for me im going to take him to toddler groups etc where he can meet lots of friends and interact and i want him to grow up confident and not have a dad who is scared to do things like take him for a walk because i think people are watching.

The most important person in my life is my son and i just tell myself thats all that matters, as long as he's happy i'll do my best to be like all the other dads who dont have SP.