durda_dan
Well-known member
if you have intrusive thoughts that are triggered by speach, reading, or listening like i do, maybe it would be best not to read this post, because this is what triggered a new one for me today 
I was going to school, i am a teacher, me and 2 other teachers were in a taxi together, and we were talking one of my friends saw this TV show called "Most evil" it's about serial killers, which i don't want to hear about because thats how my intrusive thoughts started in the firs place. (a book about serial killers)
and well my friend was talking about something he saw on the show, which in a normal situation i would walk away in order not to hear, But today we were in a taxi i had no where to go, and when he said " i saw this TV show most evil" i knew i was in for trouble.
Anyway he saw a woman, who had like 8 kids, 2 boys and 6 girls. and she treated the boys well, and tortured the girls for 14/15 years before killing them. starting at birth until they are older, constant torture, kile spoon feeding them "BOILING" cheese, and if they refused to eat because it's too hot, the mother would Iron their hands. and when the children eventually died, she got the 2 sons to dispose of the bodys, by hacking them up and throwing them away in many bags.
and when my friend told me this i could feel my mind working, thinking, pondering, and i can't seem to forget it.
and just like the first time i ever got an intrusive thought, i felt the same way ponering, thinking, never forgetting. and i know that within the next few days i am going to have a big intrusive thought as i had on my first day. i can feel it within ever ounce of my being, it's growing and stirring.
Can you also feel them growing? and bubbling to the surface.
Why do our heads not let us forget these horrible things. Why can't we just say thats ****ed up, and get on with our lives?
I am telling myself i don't want to think about it, it's too creepy to think about, and then they just keep coming back.
I am scared for the next upcoming days. i don't want more intrusive thoughts, i get enough of those. I just want to be normal again, i want these Demon's out of my head!
Sometimes i feel that the only way out is to kill myself. But i'm not a suicidal person, why am i thinking that too. I think all these thoughts have got me depressed.
I was going to school, i am a teacher, me and 2 other teachers were in a taxi together, and we were talking one of my friends saw this TV show called "Most evil" it's about serial killers, which i don't want to hear about because thats how my intrusive thoughts started in the firs place. (a book about serial killers)
and well my friend was talking about something he saw on the show, which in a normal situation i would walk away in order not to hear, But today we were in a taxi i had no where to go, and when he said " i saw this TV show most evil" i knew i was in for trouble.
Anyway he saw a woman, who had like 8 kids, 2 boys and 6 girls. and she treated the boys well, and tortured the girls for 14/15 years before killing them. starting at birth until they are older, constant torture, kile spoon feeding them "BOILING" cheese, and if they refused to eat because it's too hot, the mother would Iron their hands. and when the children eventually died, she got the 2 sons to dispose of the bodys, by hacking them up and throwing them away in many bags.
and when my friend told me this i could feel my mind working, thinking, pondering, and i can't seem to forget it.
and just like the first time i ever got an intrusive thought, i felt the same way ponering, thinking, never forgetting. and i know that within the next few days i am going to have a big intrusive thought as i had on my first day. i can feel it within ever ounce of my being, it's growing and stirring.
Can you also feel them growing? and bubbling to the surface.
Why do our heads not let us forget these horrible things. Why can't we just say thats ****ed up, and get on with our lives?
I am telling myself i don't want to think about it, it's too creepy to think about, and then they just keep coming back.
I am scared for the next upcoming days. i don't want more intrusive thoughts, i get enough of those. I just want to be normal again, i want these Demon's out of my head!
Sometimes i feel that the only way out is to kill myself. But i'm not a suicidal person, why am i thinking that too. I think all these thoughts have got me depressed.
