Ingrained rumination

[hoddesdon]

There are numerous threads on this website along the lines of "I wish something had not happened". This is called rumination. Part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) addresses rumination. It does this by looking at events in a more realistic way, thereby short-circuiting rumination in cases where it is unnecessary, and by teaching how to deal with rumination.

However, I find that certain serious events that happened a long time ago, and lasted for a long time, about which I have consequently been ruminating for a long time, keep popping up in my mind. This ingrained rumination I find difficult to dislodge.

So the question is, is there any way to do something about it?

 

[mikebird]

Thanks

That is a new word for me

I was grabbed by the throat (surreally) when I looked at facebook (rarely) by a few photos of a schoolmate who has flourished in life. He became a proper friend and others at the right time as we were about to finish school, and went in very different directions. He's one with a deceased parent, at an acceptable time and age. It happened to me a few years later. Umm.. first, a gone brother, exactly the age of typical parent age, then later my parent.

I did collapse in tears. None of this death means anything at all. It's past.

I get a big lift from tears, staring at myself in the mirror with a strong smile, laughing at myself, dwelling on my history. What I really want do do for any people I know is to reward them by sacrificing myself to leap and push them out of the way of an oncoming bus or train, or tackle any aggression from others. I don't need any reminding that they're all a lot better off with me out of the way. Any last encounters more than a decade ago would have spread my negativity and moaning about myself. I'm doing the right thing to keep away. I'm envious. Tears do dry by themselves. Good day.

The reason of this emotion is purely to see the achievements of this friend which show he's a real person. He was key to my life, but we haven't met since 1994. The very day I left to start a new life was a sad day for us to depart, in our hometown. I had a peak and now I've always been able to cope with my misery. This outrageous burst of tears really knocked me sideways. It's all about the admiration I have for him and others. Praise facebook. People who have friends. I can manage being locked out since December - quite a new event, but I'm ready for loss. That's a strong attribute. The person I mention held an important role in his Dad's company and associates, since we left school. The firm stopped functioning in 2012. He has a lot of friends, dogs, etc... All a person ever needs is good parents. The core of friends at school maintained their family without divorce. It was prominent in '80s and '90s among others at school, and my brother has had for than one divorce.

 

[SoScared]

There are numerous threads on this website along the lines of "I wish something had not happened". This is called rumination. Part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) addresses rumination. It does this by looking at events in a more realistic way, thereby short-circuiting rumination in cases where it is unnecessary, and by teaching how to deal with rumination.

However, I find that certain serious events that happened a long time ago, and lasted for a long time, about which I have consequently been ruminating for a long time, keep popping up in my mind. This ingrained rumination I find difficult to dislodge.

So the question is, is there any way to do something about it?

This lady fully answers your question.
Vipassana Meditation Explained - YouTube
another longer Vipassana Guided Meditation
Vipassana - Thinking Process Meditation (30') - YouTube

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

There are numerous threads on this website along the lines of "I wish something had not happened". This is called rumination. Part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) addresses rumination. It does this by looking at events in a more realistic way, thereby short-circuiting rumination in cases where it is unnecessary, and by teaching how to deal with rumination.

However, I find that certain serious events that happened a long time ago, and lasted for a long time, about which I have consequently been ruminating for a long time, keep popping up in my mind. This ingrained rumination I find difficult to dislodge.

So the question is, is there any way to do something about it?

Wish I had an answer. Rumination is also a big problem for me!

 

[vj288]

I think a good way to look at it is like a fight-or-flight situation. You can either fight it, meaning just "solve" the ruminating thoughts so that they are not problem thoughts anymore. By that I mean you can't change the past, or how things are but you can come to terms with them and change how you feel about them. So to fight it, you trace the thoughts back to the root and look for flawed logic, erroneous thinking and irrational thoughts. It can take a lot of work to fight thoughts like this though, especially if they have been in your mind for a long time. This is the "get over it" approach, which I think is possible for most things. Never say never but some things are just too much a challenge to fight and could just knock you down further if you didn't beat them/get closure/over them. Fighting them is the greatest reward for the greatest risk.

The other approach is flight. Basically, block it out and ignore the thoughts. This is hard sometimes, since it's like saying "don't think about a white elephant," in which all you can think about is what you don't wish to think about. Different people have different ways to stop a thought. Some just block it out with other thoughts, lately what I have been doing is just saying "let it go let it go let it go" in my head until I start to think about something else which works ok. Also there is distractions, something to take ones mind off it by occupinying it with something else. TV or movie that you can really get into are good things, a good book you can't put down or music played loud enough to drown out the voice in your head. Anything basically to break up your thoughts, so it's not all your thinking about anymore.


That's my take on it, hope it helps.

 

[anon47]

This is an issue for me too. I think what Vj288 said is pretty helpful, try to take it on and get to the root of the problem first. Then, learn how to effectively distract yourself.

The other night, I kept having ruminations and worries while I was trying to sleep. So, I counted sheep. I put ALL my focus into counting, and I was able to go to sleep.

 

[Juanito]

What about medication? There are anti obsessive Ssri or a benzo can decrease the anxiety rumination causes.