In defense of the "moaners"

cLavain

cLavain

Well-known member
So what's with the bashing of people venting their frustrations lately? This site is for people with various mental problems, and it's one of the few places where we can "tell it like it is" without being accused of spreading negative vibes or being told to grow up or get a grip. It's enormously helpful just to realize that there are other people who feel the same way. Well, it used to be like that, anyway...

I found this a great forum when I joined in February. My first post was about going to a concert alone. I got a lot of encouraging support back then, I went and had a great time. So contrary to what some people seem to think, there have been lots of helpful people here all along, even before the new "evangelists" joined. You see, it is possible to give advice without looking down your nose at people.

Sure, personal responsibility is important, and you need to push your boundaries to get better, but what you don't fucking need is someone telling you to stop complaining, because let's face it, we've heard that before from family/friends/class mates/co-workers a thousand times. We learn to keep our negative thoughts to ourselves while among other people, building up frustration, having nowhere to vent, thinking we're alone in not being happy and chirpy.

Fuck that! I would like to encourage everyone to speak their minds. It's human. It feels good. It's okay! :twisted:
 
euphoria13

euphoria13

Member
Sure, personal responsibility is important, and you need to push your boundaries to get better, but what you don't fucking need is someone telling you to stop complaining, because let's face it, we've heard that before from family/friends/class mates/co-workers a thousand times. We learn to keep our negative thoughts to ourselves while among other people, building up frustration, having nowhere to vent, thinking we're alone in not being happy and chirpy.
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I totally agree.
 
romeno82

romeno82

Well-known member
Hi cLavain i admire what you wrote

We learn to keep our negative thoughts to ourselves while among other people, building up frustration, having nowhere to vent, thinking we're alone in not being happy and chirpy.
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do i feel good? no i dont fucking feel good!! i feel bad!! now after have said this i feel alot better, and positive thoughts can come to my mind

the worst thing is the emotional dishonesty we face in this society! i need to take out whats not OK in me, otherwise i will be a fucking frustrated chump. This "always stay positive thing" is not human in my view.

I WANT TO BE NEGATIVE AND LET OUT THE FRUSTRATIONS TO BE ABLE TO BE POSTIVE AGAIN
 
Sable

Sable

Well-known member
Good! I'm glad someone said that! I've noticed that lately and have been watching my posts, trying not to sound too whiny and pathetic but, sadly, I am, and sometimes I need a good rant to clear the air!
 
crazyfairyx

crazyfairyx

1
That's one of the main reasons this site exists lol, we don't have other people to express our feelings to and so they get bottled up, this is a place where we can get it all out. Different people deal with SA in different ways, some people need to talk everything through to get it straight in their head and others just want to focus on getting better, unfortunately people with different ways of healing don't always understand each other.

If some people need to 'moan' to heal then why shouldn't they? And if others need practical and more positive help at their stage of sa then why not? We're all here to support and help each other, the majority of people without sa don't understand what we're going through, so the last thing we should do is turn against each other just because we don't understand each other's ways of improving.
 
GIOLANDA

GIOLANDA

Well-known member
Hey,this is exactly what I was thinking about these days. I've seen posts telling not to complain so much and I started feeling bad,because I want to complain,I want to express myself and here's the only place where I can do this,without being considered as insane. This is a support forum and I don't know if you feel the same,but I also get very angry when it is used for other reasons,such as psychological surveys. I mean when sb comes and says he has a survey that must be done and looks for people with anxiety. Okay,surveys are helpful,I do them too in real life,but I don't want them here. I don't know,maybe I'm wrong.
 
Q

Quixote

Well-known member
crazyfairyx said:
Different people deal with SA in different ways, some people need to talk everything through to get it straight in their head and others just want to focus on getting better, unfortunately people with different ways of healing don't always understand each other.

If some people need to 'moan' to heal then why shouldn't they? And if others need practical and more positive help at their stage of sa then why not? We're all here to support and help each other, the majority of people without sa don't understand what we're going through, so the last thing we should do is turn against each other just because we don't understand each other's ways of improving.
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Super politically correct as usual :roll: :)

But I agree nonetheless

*puts stamp of approval on the thread's surface*

It is true, complaining can be addictive, and won't solve any problem in itself, but I'm sure the majority of people here are well aware of it. If they do complain, they do it because it is necessary for their emotional well being, which sometimes is the case. Personally, I don't feel I have been moaning too much on this board, but I'd like to be able to.
 
pjam76

pjam76

Well-known member
complaining

People should feel free to whine, moan, complain about life, what's going on, bad things, and so on.


But where I think it becomes a serious problem is when people just complain and whine yet never do or plan on doing anything about it.


There are plenty of people, with SA or without SA, who all they do is whine and moan about their lives, life, the world and never once have a plan or a goal to do something about it.....

That's the problem with complaining... It becomes sort of like a drug.. You feel great complainng and whining, especially if your not a big talker and rarely do it on a consistent basis. So when you do find an outlet, it's golden... But then it just becomes a place where that's all you do....You complain, somebody else agrees or complains and it creates one big complain fest........................But after all of that, if there is no plan to do anything about it, it's kind of pointless in the long run.
 
S

savage_beagle

Well-known member
i agree...more solutions and less complaining

pjam76...i agree! If you look back at some of my posts, i tried being helpful and offering advice and positive thoughts. One or two people responded back with good feedback, but often most just keep on replying with ''my life sucks'' attitudes.pjam76, you said it perfectly, as i remember being like that for awhile, but i saw the thinking as being unhealthy and i changed it , which is a lifes work in progress. People can change , you get what you think...so think what you want.
 
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