i'm stressing again, can anybody give me some advice please!

[summer]

Hi,
Im a single mum, aged 31. i recently diognosed myself with SA several moths ago after my anxieties and paranoya started to become more noticable to me and others around me and i started to think what the hell is wrong with me!
My SA is probably fairly mild compared to some people on here, but obviously its still a huge strain and a big stress in my life and i feel everyone is aginst me all the time, im so paranoid.
No one knows i have SA, My friends are beginning to realise that i have lots of issues after a big paranoid argument a few days ago and have told me i could do with seeing a dr but i have never actually told anyone i have SA disorder, i havnt even been to a Doctor about it yet.

What i would like to ask you is have you told people that you have SA and if so what was their reaction? How do they act with you now? do they think you are a mental headcase just because you have this disorder or do they understand you more now because there is a reason for your behaviour?

Apart from the doctor, shoud i keep this to myself? I am scared to tell anyone i have SA incase people think i am crazy.

any advice would be much apreciated, my head is going around in circles wandering if i should tell anyone.

 

[coriander1992]

Honestly, I would advise you to select the people you tell about your SA carefully. Most people just do not understand, even if it's not through lack of trying.
It's disheartening at times, especially if they are the type of person to make insensitive remarks or ask seemingly stupid questions about SA.

If I do try to tell somebody, I usually wait until we are having a flowing conversation about something, and then wait for a topic that I could tie it into. It's good if you try and link an explanation for past SA-caused behaviour into it too to help them understand, i.e. This is why I didn't want to come to the movies last week...

Good luck if you do choose to tell somebody, and I hope your experiences are better than mine have been!

 

[Danfalc]

I agree with what coriander1992 has said,i think she has hit the nail on the head.Ive made the mistake of telling people i thought I can trust... and it just became weird between us.

For some people it doesnnt matter what you say you have...ocd or social anxiety or whatever.. they have no understanding and just think your tapped in the head :?

There are a few understanding people out there tho,What i tend to do now is test the water to see how people react sorta thing.I just say i get a bit anxious and nervous in certain situations ect and I see how understanding the person is about it.Ive learnt that to the people who care bout you tho it doesnt matter...

 

[summer]

Thankyou both for your advice.
I am having such a bad week this week after having a big fall out with a couple of friends (one of these was my best mate and my only close friend) because i thought they were trying to push me away and out of the friendship, of course i was being completly paranoid and this wasnt the case but after blurting out how hurt and angry i was to them i really upset them and although it was kind of an inocent mistake on my behalf they think i have been completly irational and they now probably do want to push me away. we have spoken and kind of made up but things feel wierd now.
This is my best friend, who i saw all the time and most of my other mates are all in the same circle of friends and now i fear everyone thinks im barking mad.
Im just feeling so stupid, embaresed and alone at the moment and very upset that everyone must think this about me and i may have lost my best and only close friend if things dont get back to normal with us again.
We were all going to a friends birthday party on saturday but i feel to embaressed to face any of them. i will probably upset them again if they think im making excuses not to go. this is why i was thinking maybe i should tell my friend why i behaved in this way. but i am scared of how she would react, i had never seen her behave the way she did with me after i told her how i was feeling that day.
Thanks again for listening and giving me your advice. x

 

[asubscriber99]

i've never told anyone that i have SA.

I find that telling people that would put me in the "sick people" dealing; in other words, they won't deal with me like someone else.

this is bad since i'm working on becoming more and more normal over time and practice and.......

 

[edgarapoo]

I agree that you should pick and choose. I have had good experiences and bad experiences with this. It very rarely makes me feel closer to whoever I'm talking to (though it has happened). Usually it's just weird and it just makes me want to hide from the person.

I think the common theme from my good experiences with this has been that the person has experienced anxiety or phobia problems for themselves. That seems to be what actually brings them closer to me if I tell them. Another thing is if the person has experience "counseling" or listening to other people, even if informally. This usually makes them more understanding.

Apart from these things, I don't think it's wise to go around telling people. If you thought your friend acted weird lately, then it might be best to keep this to yourself (at least for now).

Good luck :wink: