I'm so lost...and broke all because of this SA

#1
It all started with extreme shyness and has now turned into definant SA to the extreme, I can't even go into business's to get applications anymore.

I lost my last girlfriend over the not being to hold a job deal, and now day by day I just keep getting worse and have nowhere to turn.

I'm just about as broke as you can be, which you can imagine doesnt help any social life I'd even get the chance to have....not like I'd take anyone up on it.

I'm living back with my parents, its depressing as all get out, I'll be 24 on the 18th! I'm starting to really think there getting fed up with me not having a job but I barely leave the house as it is!

Everyone keep's suggesting SSI but I've already been turned down twice and I really dont wanna be labeled as disabled, its not a bad thing but I think me personally it would just make me feel even worse about myself (If thats even possible)

I've had to sell everything I own to survive, at this point I have no car anymore, and a stereo thats going to get pawned tommorow so I can afford smoke's for a bit. - It's getting really really bad.

It's really too bad all those "work from home blah blah" are all fake.

Any Idea's/Suggestions? - Greatly Appreciated.

-Chris
 

LittleMissMuffet

Well-known member
#2
Hi Chris,

I don't know of any suggestions really. I am lucky to be able to get a government pension ...for now at least.

I just relate to the difficulty of it all -of being out of work for a long time (for me it has been roughly about 5 years altogether) and little to no social life (recently I've cut off from two of the three friends I had kept). There is also the actual social awkardness it self and the fact that I have missed out and continue to miss out on so much. And then there is the prejudice from others that I sometimes detect or sense.

And last but not least- dealing with difficulties for so long has worn me down. I feel like I have no place and like so much of my life has little meaning. I feel like I've missed the boat and have been tossed aside as if worthless -and yet I am mystified because I know I am not worthless. -So, then how come I suffer so much and am inadequate in ways so important to others when I know I am no weaker overall than anyone else? (I'm positive of this. )

I just feel it is unfair to have to try to fit into a world so much when others fit in more easily; and as a result, miss out on so much and appear less than others. ....why could the world have not fitted me and why should I suffer for things that I have or had no say in or control over.
I mean: why can't the world and me simply have been a better match?

Anyhow, I'm not really addressing your post.
My only suggestion would be to suggest perhaps trying something artistic or otherwise simply just following whatever talent you have. MAybe this way you can pour your energy into this.
If you have obsessive style of thinking like I seem to, finding some thing to channel your energy into helps in more ways than one.
It could help you money wise and it could help lessen anxiety and instead boost self esteem.
 
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