I'm only happy when I'm experiencing fiction.

[Plissken]

All of my free time is devoted to fiction, whether it be watching a TV shows, movies, playing games, reading books etc. I know this might sound gay, but I really just want to leave this world behind and join the characters and be a part of them. It's like the only way I can interact with people, just in a retroactive way. Now, that desire to kind of "jump in" to another world is getting really painful. It tears me up inside that life isn't like a story and I can't go on adventures or even have friends. I mean, everyone has a bit of escapism in them, but I think it's really getting unhealthy for me. It's the only thing keeping me going.

There's just this intense longing in my heart to be an adventurer and I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it. The only way I can experience life is through these acts of fiction.

The only thing I'm looking forward to anymore is a certain game that is coming out in a few months. I need to see how it wraps up the storyline of the past ones. I'm thinking of just offing myself after I finish it, because I have nothing else to look forward to.

This emptiness in my life is killing me.

 

[dottie]

as a kid did your parents rely on the tv as a babysitter? my mom basically relied on tv as a means to neglect me. she was emotionally unattached and the less she had to deal with my existance, the better. so the tv was a cheap tool to do just that. now i feel i have an addiction to escaping whether it's internet, tv, movies, books, etc and i have a very difficult time coping with human interaction.

i understand your desire for adventure and the frustration of not having the means. i wish i could travel the world and do crazy things but my social status (working class) does not allow for that. oh well, i have to find other sources of happiness and reserve special times for getaways/adventures.

 

[ripewithdecay]

I think you're making it out to be a little more than it really is, to be honest. I do all the same things in my free time at home. Why? Because, I can't have a social life and it gets really friggin' boring!
Escapism is where it's at - don't blame yourself, you may as well enjoy life some way or another, right?