I'm not sure they understand what they're doing...

[redmatter]

Now I don't know if I'm in the right spot for this, but I've reached my wits end long ago. I'm not talking about physical bullying, but emotional. The kind that doesn't get any respect... I'll tell you why it deserves respect.

Life for me with people, it's like constantly touching a hot stove when I realize they're putting me down instead of being cool. It's an actual feeling, a heavy burn inside my chest and all over my mind. They identify weakness, and then group to mock me openly in front of my face. Do you know what I mean? It's the kind where you know exactly what they're talking about - together - but if you say anything, you'd look obviously paranoid and psycho (and by now I really am). It's what they want but I have to tell you, after years of trying every last thing I can think of... I have nowhere to turn.

Now, not having friends or being disconnected, rejected and unaccepted is one thing. Something I can learn to live with, my problem comes in with my career and ability to make money. Always, no matter what job I have, without fail I have groups that flock together to start rumors, to openly mock, to try and squeeze me out through thinly-veiled ridicule, and all the while I try to be the best I can.

If I work hard and long, it's because I'm on drugs. If I don't work hard enough, I'm a clueless moron. Worse yet, because I've always been the target, no matter what, I have people who seem to go out of their way to dig up my past and exploit it. They absolutely love it, and while I'd agree that at one point this was all paranoia, it is now actual fact. I know what they're doing, it can't be mistaken and it's really affecting my life.

I can't hide the fact anymore that everywhere I go I have to worry about just surviving in general. I can't win, and nobody can or is willing to tell me how. I can't relate, and it seems like they don't need me to. They just know how I'm wrong or strange and how funny that is, but serious (for me) because they see an impossible struggle. They don't help, they just tell or pit others against me. It's not enough to be lonely, don't let him eat...

This is bullying no? I uh, need for something to change.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

It sounds like the first thing you need to do will be learning how to separate the paranoia from people acting behaving badly. Likely that will require professional help--failing that, I dunno, self help books. You need to work on it somehow though.

After that I'd suggest working hard to figure out how better to understand and deal with people. Maybe you are surrounded by toxic people and you actually need to escape that situation first, I don't know.

I definitely agree that you need change. I don't know what you've tried, but please don't say 'everything'. No one has ever tried everything, and you don't seem to mention trying anything.

If everyone really actively excludes you, you must be doing something very wrong--something that could be changed. If you only think they do, it's paranoia, which can be overcome as well. Change isn't likely to be easy, but it is possible.

 

[redmatter]

If everyone really actively excludes you, you must be doing something very wrong--something that could be changed. If you only think they do, it's paranoia, which can be overcome as well. Change isn't likely to be easy, but it is possible.

Or maybe they just don't accept me as me... and maybe, these toxic people have spread their toxins and undermined my path. You see, the problem is maybe in my trying to be me, wasn't good enough for everyone. Does that mean I have to be tormented on top of it? By everyone I know? So, you're right about a couple things. Maybe I do things wrong in trying to be me, but for the most part, never tried to really hurt anyone. But me wasn't enough to be in, and so I guess that had to mean I'm on the curb... or on the bench. Treated like a piece of trash by those who knew me best, but they love me. Right... Appreciate that all anyway though.

 

[cesgrandsyeux]

[/QUOTE]Now, not having friends or being disconnected, rejected and unaccepted is one thing. Something I can learn to live with, my problem comes in with my career and ability to make money. Always, no matter what job I have, without fail I have groups that flock together to start rumors, to openly mock, to try and squeeze me out through thinly-veiled ridicule, and all the while I try to be the best I can.

If I work hard and long, it's because I'm on drugs. If I don't work hard enough, I'm a clueless moron. Worse yet, because I've always been the target, no matter what, I have people who seem to go out of their way to dig up my past and exploit it. They absolutely love it, and while I'd agree that at one point this was all paranoia, it is now actual fact. I know what they're doing, it can't be mistaken and it's really affecting my life.

I can't hide the fact anymore that everywhere I go I have to worry about just surviving in general. I can't win, and nobody can or is willing to tell me how. I can't relate, and it seems like they don't need me to. They just know how I'm wrong or strange and how funny that is, but serious (for me) because they see an impossible struggle. They don't help, they just tell or pit others against me. It's not enough to be lonely, don't let him eat...

This is bullying no? I uh, need for something to change.[/QUOTE]


Anything that makes you feel degraded, worthless and humiliated is bullying (if it's a regular thing.) And yeah, I understand, it's a form of indirect bullying. A lot of people don't understand that, while it may be a mild form of bullying, it's still hurtful and it still needs to be addressed and stopped. I don't agree with this bull****, 'a little banter will put hairs on your chest.' If you don't agree with what they're doing, and it's affecting your self esteem and emotional well being, yeah, it needs to be stopped.
I get this a lot at school, if I participate in lessons, I'm too smart. If I don't immediately get something being taught (this is usually maths,haha) I'm a dumbass. I'm too serious, I'm too mature, I don't know how to have fun.
It's simply this, if people are trying to bring you down, it only means you're above them.
You can either change yourself, become more like them so they'll like you.... (which I refuse to do) or you find other friends and work through it. Not everyone is going to act the way they do. It is difficult when you feel like an outsider, but you have to remember how much better you are than them. Do you want to be friends with a bunch of ****wits who relish ruining other's self esteem?
Hopefully, the answer is no.

 

[upndwn]

I used to feel this way for years. I Know many people were secretly talking behind my back and trying to ostracize me because of my SA. They just thought i was a weird recluse and didn't even consider that I might have a serious mental disorder.

As the years went by I learnt to ignore this kind of behavior. I just decided that I shouldn't let it bother me. It took some adjusting and therapy but I finally got over it, and started focusing on me instead of worrying about what everyone else though and said. Nowadays I'm not afraid to speak my mind when someone pushes my buttons, and it's amazing how weak they become when you actually talk back.

I think part of the problem is that you let it affect you to much. Ignore these p****s and focus on your own life instead. These kind of people just need someone to taunt to feel better about themselves. They're the ones with the problem not you.

If you really have a hard time coping I would suggest going to therapy. I'm sure a skilled professional therapist can give way better advice than me.