Meggerz88
Well-known member
I have some strange psychological behaviors that I can't attribute to anything... I have kind of wondered about OCD. What do you think?
First off... I tend to get really impulsive thoughts about doing things. I don't act on them... but it happens a lot. It isn't like a thought just in the back or my mind, but more like something that I have the strong urge to do and have to consciously decide not to. A more light example of this is that the other day at my university, I had my lacrosse stick with me and I was walking past a bunny (yes, there are tonnes of bunnies on campus) and I had the sudden strong urge to try to scoop up the bunny with my lacrosse stick.
This also happens very frequently with more violent thought about people. For example, somebody will somebody will budge in front of me in line to catch a bus that is really full already and I will get the urge to push them down to the ground or hit them.
Another thing that seems more obsessive has to do with getting really jealous that my boyfriend will do something or think something unfaithful. It we are going to watch a movie, which we rarely do anymore because of this, I have to look up its sexual content and I won't let us watch it if there is any kind of nudity or scenes with girls wearing skimpy clothes or anything like that. He used to climb and I had so many issues that he would go just to see girls wearing next to nothing and now he doesn't go anymore. I get really jealous when he goes away or does anything without me that he will talk to other girls. I will even get really mad and upset when I even see a girl who is wearing something provocative (short skirt/revealing tank top, etc) even when I am not with my boyfriend. There are many other examples of this, but I don't want to get into all of it here.
I know my boyfriend would never do anything unfaithful and I trust him so deeply in many aspects, but I can't shake this obsession with being compared to other girls and not being good enough. It really affects a lot of things and I feel terrible about it. A lot of times I will snap at him and accuse him of things that aren't true because of this. There are times when I feel like I have to say something about it or I will keep obsessing over it. He is wonderful and understanding because afterward I calm down and realize that I was being unreasonable and apologize...
One thing to consider is that I was molested as a child for many years and this really attributes to a lot of my sexually directed obsessions, but I don't know if some of these odd behaviors could be explained by something like OCD. I was too afraid to talk about this with my psychologist and doctor, so they only know about my SA symptoms.
Can anyone relate or does anyone think this could be explained by OCD?
First off... I tend to get really impulsive thoughts about doing things. I don't act on them... but it happens a lot. It isn't like a thought just in the back or my mind, but more like something that I have the strong urge to do and have to consciously decide not to. A more light example of this is that the other day at my university, I had my lacrosse stick with me and I was walking past a bunny (yes, there are tonnes of bunnies on campus) and I had the sudden strong urge to try to scoop up the bunny with my lacrosse stick.
This also happens very frequently with more violent thought about people. For example, somebody will somebody will budge in front of me in line to catch a bus that is really full already and I will get the urge to push them down to the ground or hit them.
Another thing that seems more obsessive has to do with getting really jealous that my boyfriend will do something or think something unfaithful. It we are going to watch a movie, which we rarely do anymore because of this, I have to look up its sexual content and I won't let us watch it if there is any kind of nudity or scenes with girls wearing skimpy clothes or anything like that. He used to climb and I had so many issues that he would go just to see girls wearing next to nothing and now he doesn't go anymore. I get really jealous when he goes away or does anything without me that he will talk to other girls. I will even get really mad and upset when I even see a girl who is wearing something provocative (short skirt/revealing tank top, etc) even when I am not with my boyfriend. There are many other examples of this, but I don't want to get into all of it here.
I know my boyfriend would never do anything unfaithful and I trust him so deeply in many aspects, but I can't shake this obsession with being compared to other girls and not being good enough. It really affects a lot of things and I feel terrible about it. A lot of times I will snap at him and accuse him of things that aren't true because of this. There are times when I feel like I have to say something about it or I will keep obsessing over it. He is wonderful and understanding because afterward I calm down and realize that I was being unreasonable and apologize...
One thing to consider is that I was molested as a child for many years and this really attributes to a lot of my sexually directed obsessions, but I don't know if some of these odd behaviors could be explained by something like OCD. I was too afraid to talk about this with my psychologist and doctor, so they only know about my SA symptoms.
Can anyone relate or does anyone think this could be explained by OCD?
