Angel4
New member
Hi,
I'm new to the forum, just joined today. Anyways; I'm a HighSchool senior (18 years old); and I've always had obsessive thoughts as well as some rituals I knew I had to perform, but it wasnt untill I read the book "Kissing Doorknobs" and did research on the internet that I found out I might have OCD, (or atleast pure-o OCD). I was told to make an appointment with a counselor; but I've been putting it off, mostly because I'm scared that I have absolutely nothing and I'm just making it up. So I thought I'd ask people on here what their opinions are.
It started when I was 8 years old, after I had contracted strep-throat as well as a stomach bug I became obsessed with the thought of being sick. I wouldnt eat anything if I hadn't seen it being prepared and even then I'd make someone else taste it to make sure there wasn't any poison in it. I couldn't eat certain foods; I was actually afraid of carrots. This led to me losing weight since I had a hard time eating. Eventually at the age of about nine; the obsession went away.
Then new ones started; at 10 years old I had to skip every other tile on the floors at the elementary school when walking; I felt something bad would happen if I didn't. Eventually the school noticed and had meetings about it, but no action was taken.
After a few months this went away to; I was fine untill middle school (approximately 7th grade) when I was thirteen. I had never been an extremely religious person; but one day when I had a sexual thought I started to panick and began praying, I'd pray for a long time in fear that God would punish me for my thoughts; when my grandfather died I began to obsess over my thoughts of it being my fault because of my "sinfull" thoughts.
Then I developed the habit of kissing all of the presents my boyfriend (this was in 9th grade) had gotten me; I felt if I didn't do this before bed, God would punish me by causing our breakup. After we broke up I became even more obsessed with the thought that I had probably forgotten to kiss one of the gifts before bed.
I knew all of these thoughts were un-realistic; I figured I was going crazy. Now senior year, with all the stress has brought about new quirks and obsessions. I count stairs when I go up them, and say my ABC's when I go down them. I have obsessive thoughts about my boyfriend leaving me, sometimes my brain says "you don't love him" even though I know I do love him. I have to close my eyes when driving over railroad tracks, I have a very long bathroom ritual. My boyfriend tries to deal with my quirks the best he can, but hes only human; and sometimes he loses his patience.
Also, I had gone with my friends to a party; and I had scratched myself against a loose nail. Just then the thought popped into my head that "I have Ebola now" (why ebola? I dont know..). I became obsessed with the thought and wouldnt kiss or touch anyone for fear of giving it to them.
I can't control these stupid thoughts; and sometimes I get really depressed over it; sometimes I think I'm going crazy.
Anyways;
The reasons I doubt having OCD is because my quirks and obsessions change alot (like I'll have a quirk for a few months or a year or two and then one day its just gone and another one has taken its place); and there are atleast one or two days a month that I go without having any symptoms. Also; my rituals usually don't take over more than an hour a day, only my obsessions do.
I want to make an appointment, but I'm scared I have no reason to make an appointment and I'll just be wasting the therapists time. Does any of this actually sound like OCD? I need re-assurance.
I'm new to the forum, just joined today. Anyways; I'm a HighSchool senior (18 years old); and I've always had obsessive thoughts as well as some rituals I knew I had to perform, but it wasnt untill I read the book "Kissing Doorknobs" and did research on the internet that I found out I might have OCD, (or atleast pure-o OCD). I was told to make an appointment with a counselor; but I've been putting it off, mostly because I'm scared that I have absolutely nothing and I'm just making it up. So I thought I'd ask people on here what their opinions are.
It started when I was 8 years old, after I had contracted strep-throat as well as a stomach bug I became obsessed with the thought of being sick. I wouldnt eat anything if I hadn't seen it being prepared and even then I'd make someone else taste it to make sure there wasn't any poison in it. I couldn't eat certain foods; I was actually afraid of carrots. This led to me losing weight since I had a hard time eating. Eventually at the age of about nine; the obsession went away.
Then new ones started; at 10 years old I had to skip every other tile on the floors at the elementary school when walking; I felt something bad would happen if I didn't. Eventually the school noticed and had meetings about it, but no action was taken.
After a few months this went away to; I was fine untill middle school (approximately 7th grade) when I was thirteen. I had never been an extremely religious person; but one day when I had a sexual thought I started to panick and began praying, I'd pray for a long time in fear that God would punish me for my thoughts; when my grandfather died I began to obsess over my thoughts of it being my fault because of my "sinfull" thoughts.
Then I developed the habit of kissing all of the presents my boyfriend (this was in 9th grade) had gotten me; I felt if I didn't do this before bed, God would punish me by causing our breakup. After we broke up I became even more obsessed with the thought that I had probably forgotten to kiss one of the gifts before bed.
I knew all of these thoughts were un-realistic; I figured I was going crazy. Now senior year, with all the stress has brought about new quirks and obsessions. I count stairs when I go up them, and say my ABC's when I go down them. I have obsessive thoughts about my boyfriend leaving me, sometimes my brain says "you don't love him" even though I know I do love him. I have to close my eyes when driving over railroad tracks, I have a very long bathroom ritual. My boyfriend tries to deal with my quirks the best he can, but hes only human; and sometimes he loses his patience.
Also, I had gone with my friends to a party; and I had scratched myself against a loose nail. Just then the thought popped into my head that "I have Ebola now" (why ebola? I dont know..). I became obsessed with the thought and wouldnt kiss or touch anyone for fear of giving it to them.
I can't control these stupid thoughts; and sometimes I get really depressed over it; sometimes I think I'm going crazy.
Anyways;
The reasons I doubt having OCD is because my quirks and obsessions change alot (like I'll have a quirk for a few months or a year or two and then one day its just gone and another one has taken its place); and there are atleast one or two days a month that I go without having any symptoms. Also; my rituals usually don't take over more than an hour a day, only my obsessions do.
I want to make an appointment, but I'm scared I have no reason to make an appointment and I'll just be wasting the therapists time. Does any of this actually sound like OCD? I need re-assurance.
