I'm New And Does Anyone Else Have This Problem?

[ItNeverStops]

Hi, I'm new here and I know I 100% have OCD. I have battled it for years now. I'm 25 and I can pretty much remember having it as a 3 year old (I kid you not). I have had obsessions about so many things over the years. One of my big ones is death. It has come and gone over the years, but right now it is torturing me to no end. Right now it's not even death in general. It's about a very specific disease. Does anyone else here obsess that they have certain diseases?

A couple months ago, I developed muscle twitching. Anyone here twitch? I hear it's common with anxiety. Well I googled it and found it was also a symptom of ALS. I freaked out, rushed off to the doctor. She told me I was fine, not to worry. I told her about lots of stress I have been having in my life and she attributed it to that. Well I just couldn't let it go though. I have even been to a neurologist for this and been told I am 100% ALS free. It's a very rare disease and not usually seen in someone as young as me. Yet I obsess and I obsess like crazy. I think I have had every symptom of the disease so far, some I know I imagined, but others I don't know. Like right now, I am convinced I have trouble speaking and have developed a lisp (speaking problems are a symptom of this disease). I just had a test a week ago that was completely clean, no way I have any disease that is affecting my muscles the doctor says but yet my OCD tells me I have suddenly developed it, just after the test. Does anyone here have OCD that actually makes them feel certain things, like actual symptoms such as this? I ask my family constantly if my speech has changed. They think I am bonified crazy. My doctor put me on Zoloft and the side effects have been so bad. I clench and grind my teeth all day long and my OCD has been worse, not better. I have even contemplated just ending it once and for all. My compulsions consist of checking my tongue constantly for signs it is changing in some way too and repeating words with "s" sounds.

I figured I would try to come here for some support because this is eating me alive and no one really understands the extent of my fears.

Thanks

 

[QUEEN_SJO]

I UNDERSTAND WHR UR COMMING 4RM. ALTHOUGH I CANT RECALL BEING STUCK LIKE U R WIT THE DISEASE THNG. BUT ON DEATH YES. BUT WHN MY DR PUT ME ON ZOLOFT WHN I WAS 9 EVRYTHNG GOT BETTER OF COURSE I STILL HAD SUM OCD SYMPTOMS BUT THEY WERE EASIER 2 HIDE AND LIVE WITH. BUT IT SUX CUZ I JUS FOUND OUT IM 3MONTHS PREGNANT SO MY DR TOOK ME OFF IT COMPLETELY AND IM GETTIN ANXIETY REAL BAD AGAIN WITH OCD. BUT ASK UR DR ABOUT TRYING A DIFFERENT MED OR LOWERING OR UPPING THE DOSE OF ZOLOFT. I STARTED @ 50 MG AND ENDED WIT 200. HOW LONG HAV U BEEN TAKIN IT?
BUT THERE R SO MANY SCARY SITUATIONS WIT OCD. I REMEMBER WHN I WAS YOUNGER MY OCD COMPELLED MY 2 GRAB A KNIFE AND WALK UP 2 MY GRANDMOTHER WIT IT BCUZ THE THOT WULDNT LEAVE SO I NEEDED HER 2 STOP ME 4RM ACTUALLY DOIN IT AND ASSURE ME I WULDNT.
BUT WHO NOS WHT WULDVE HAPPENED IF SHE DDNT UNDERSTAND MY OCD OR NOTICE WHT I WAS DOIN