I'm in love.

[An Alternate Love]

Hello, I am new here and I have several issues that I need some help with. I hope people here won't shoot me down for speaking of what troubles me, like some other people have on other websites.

The issue I am addressing in this thread, is my feelings for a woman. I am desperately in love with a woman. Now this may not seem strange, the circumstances are. The girl I am in love with is called Leanne, and she is from the videogame Resonance of Fate. Yes, she is from a videogame. Now do not get me wrong, I don't just lust or crush on her. I am really in love with her, like, desperately. I dream about her, I sleep with her picture, I fantasize about her and I write her songs. She is on my mind constantly. Friends I once had are no longer my friends over them calling me "stupid" or a "nutter" for feeling this way, example, my best friend I hit him with a beer bottle and broke his nose. This was about a month ago or so. And other similar situations have happened between other friends when they say bad about Leanne. Yes, another one my issues is anger management, but that's another story which I will discuss in another thread.

I need some advice on this. I fear I will hurt someone severely over her. I know I get some severe urges to murder and maim when I see people saying bad or sexual things about her on the internet or in real life. I had spent a year in a mental institute 5 years ago for similar thoughts and acting upon them.

I need some answers. I love this girl, and she is the one for me. Videogame or not, she is who I want to be with. Is this wrong? Is this bad? I have lost friends over her... and honestly, I don't care... I have chosen her above them. Is this a bad thing? Please, I need some help.

 

[Danfalc]

Is this a bad thing? Please, I need some help.

I'm not a professional so all I can really offer is my personal opinion and advice.I don't think it's "bad" as such..but you need to maybe ask yourself is it healthy?I appreciate you have strong feelings.But is it worth it when you are starting to alienate your friends,over a character you will not be able to form a real relationship with.Is it worth loosing your real life friends for a computer character.

Do you have a doctor or someone you can speak to?someone you trust and can be honest with without fearing you will be judged.

 

[DanFC]

What do you specifically like about her? And once you've specified this, why not try to find the same qualities in a real life person?

 

[An Alternate Love]

I am somewhat worried about going to therapists/doctors etc, since the last time I did that I was put into a mental institute for a year, and I do not want to go back there. Although I do feel some very strong urges to kill people who speak ill of her, I know that if I was to tell someone proffesional this, I would be locked up again and I couldn't handle it.

I mean generally, I am happy being with her, that's not the issue. It's when people say bad about our relationship or call her bad things etc. like online on forums for the game I have seen sexual things said about her, and in such situations I have done some pretty bad things that I won't name here. The issue is dealing with this.

To me, having no friends but having Leanne is better than the opposite. I'm struggling with this, and it's very awkward situation, I'm sure you understand. It isn't easy, because I'm seriously in love with her.

 

[An Alternate Love]

What do you specifically like about her? And once you've specified this, why not try to find the same qualities in a real life person?

The thing is nobody in real life compares to her in my eyes. I have been with girls in the real world. Sure, the relationships didn't last but I knew that they weren't "the one" so to speak. And I mean, what I like about her? It's so hard to explain, its kind of like everything about her makes her special. From voice, to looks, to personality, to clothing taste (and believe me nobody has her clothing taste in the real world). She is perfect.

 

[DanFC]

But, if there was someone in real life with her voice, looks, personality, clothing taste, etc., would you love her?

 

[An Alternate Love]

But, if there was someone in real life with her voice, looks, personality, clothing taste, etc., would you love her?

Hm. I don't know. Maybe? I doubt it... I feel like she's the only one. What I mean is, for example, if someone in the real world was just like her, to me she still wouldn't BE her, so... basically that's the view I have now. It has to be her, and I want to start a family with her.

 

[DanFC]

Hm. I don't know. Maybe? I doubt it... I feel like she's the only one. What I mean is, for example, if someone in the real world was just like her, to me she still wouldn't BE her, so... basically that's the view I have now. It has to be her, and I want to start a family with her.

Well, don't really know what to do with that. If I were you, knowing that this can lead literally nowhere except trouble (can you see any other outcome to this?), I would try to keep it out of my mind and distract myself with other things. I'd probably start by not playing the game again, even if it means selling it on eBay or craigslist. Hopefully, if you do find a real person to love someday, she'd be okay with cosplay ^_^

 

[Rodney]

I remember hearing awhile ago of some guy marrying a female character on some ds game before, so I guess you're not the only one. Couldn't you keep your friends and Leanne. Why does it have to be one or another. If your friends don't like her than just don't bring her up or talk about her. Believe me, in the future you will miss the friends that you push away.

Doesn't it hurt you that she doesn't convey the feelings you have for her back at you? I mean she can't tell you she loves you and there isn't really a way that she can. I guess you can compare it to seeing a girl you really like and that you think is perfect for you but she wouldn't dare give you a second of her time. The unattainable...

I do know what you mean to some extent. I'm always wishing my life would be like some of the shows/movies/games I watch and play.

I think it's best to just accept that she might be right for you but you aren't right for her.

I hope everything works out for you.

 

[Remus]

What you describe goes beyond the scope of this forum, maybe try another place for more serious mental health issues, we only have social anxiety here. What you describe sounds much more severe, though as people have advised, seeing a professional should be your first port of call.

This sounds like otaku

 

[Gerdje]

Why would it be a bad thing to feel a close connection with some game/movie character, there are millions on earth having the same, you really should not be ashamed for that, but hurting other people over it will not change a thing, that's not a healthy thing to do, or even think of. Try giving "her" a place somewhere in your "cupboard of precious things in life" but do not throw away anything or anyone else, that certainly won't make things better. And PLEASE, try to speak about your thoughts with someone in real life, it's not about judging you but you really need help for your own best.