Im back and more pathetic than ever before


Active member
Hi everyone,

I made myself come back to this site. I havent been here for ages.
Last time I was prepared to get help and go to counciling,etc.
Well I havent done anything, im so pathetic. I read the posts I made 5 months ago and I sound like I have some shread of confidence which I dont have anymore and I dont know why or how it happened but I just have zero confidence in myself.

I have been avoiding any social situation, I avoid going to uni lectures and seeing people I know. I pretty much hate going outside even to check the mail box. I refuse to go anywhere that is not necessary, I will only go to the shop if I really have to and when I do go I make sure I stock up so I dont have to go back. Sometimes I dont go outside for more than 2 weeks.

I have a stupid job where I work one day a week, I am so relieved if I have a day off because it means I dont have to go anywhere or interact with people for about 2 weeks. When I do go to work I feel sick days before and on the day I have to go I feel like throwing up and have diarrhea. When at work I have to deal with the public and I feel so akward and stupid and feel them staring at me and its like I know they would be thinking im an idiot. My boss tells me to be more talkative to people but its killing me trying to speak one word to them, I would quit if I had the guts to say it.

After work or going to any place that involves being near people I cant stop thinking about what a fool I was, in my head I go over and over how stupid I acted or the silly things that I said that didnt make sense.

My husband doesnt understand anymore, he used to be fine with having a night in and watching a video, but how long can someone stay in for? I feel bad for him, I try to go places with him but mostly chicken out at the last minute. Like I said im pathetic.

I want to be a hermit and live in a cave.
I really came back to the site to find someone else who feels like this and to get some advice. Its gonna be hard but im not going to delete this post, I feel like a fool for writting it though.
Thanks for reading, sorry its a long post :oops:


Dear Teresa,

Im so happy to have had our chat, you are a very special wonderful lady who is full of wisdom.....

I wish I had a magic wand to take away our anxieties....because we really shouldnt feel the way we do......

Have a great day and take care!



Well-known member
Welcome back Terresap. It's great to 'see' you despite the circumstances not being so great!

You are NOT pathetic, and you are NOT a fool.... you are afflicted with a disorder that has convinced you that you are those things...& also convinced you to take the easy way out, & fall into a rut. Don't let the disorder win and take control of you and your thoughts! I was exactly where you are approx. 2 years ago, but I finally called for counseling and since then, have made a little progress.... the thing is, I didn't do any of it for myself, or I seriously doubt I that would have done it.

Try doing it for your husband instead of for yourself, think how much it would mean to him. He thinks you are worthy, and YOU ARE, but the disorders have probably convinced you that you aren't!


Active member
Thanks for the replies :D

Moodylady, I had a wonderful time chatting with you. It made me feel so much better to talk to someone that is so like me. :D

Guest, thanks for your advice, I love this part:
Try doing it for your husband instead of for yourself, think how much it would mean to him. He thinks you are worthy, and YOU ARE, but the disorders have probably convinced you that you aren't!
Im going to try for him, maybe that will make me do something about it. He deserves for me to atleast try.

Worrydoll, thanks for you post. It means a lot to me :)


Well-known member
Hi terresap

I am a newbie here.
Boy you sure are giving yourself a hard time over your disorder.
I echo worrydoll's comments about you beating yourself up. Give yourself a break.

Where from Oz are you?
I am from Melbourne.

Take care


Well-known member

You sound like you are a perfectionist. I know I am to a certain point, but I am starting to let go of having everything done right.

Any reason why you haven't sort help for your issues?
We all need a little help here and there.

Take care


Active member
Any reason why you haven't sort help for your issues?
I went to see my doctor and he just gave me a prescription and told me that would take care of it.
I dont want to just take some medication to 'take care of it'
I know that wont work, I need some proffessional help.
It took me ages to go back to the doctor to confront him and ask for a referral to go to councilling or something. He made me feel like a fool for not wanting to just take the medication. He refused to give me a referral and said people with SA who have panic attacks and are agraphobic need medication and that will sort them out. I didnt take his advice.

Annie reading your post yesterday made me think "what is the reason why I havent done anything about it?"
I immediately made an appointment with another doctor and dragged myself there, I cried and shook like a baby and told the doctor my story and asked for help. (I dont think I can go back to that doctor after making such a fool of myself) I am booked in to see a clinical psychologists in about 6 weeks time for a 10 week course of CBT. Im scared to death because its a group session. Im not sure if I can handle a group session. What goes on with a group session? Do we have to talk infront of everyone? Do we have to tell everyone what our problem is? Is a group a good thing? I cant imagine much worse than a group of people sitting around in a circle staring at me and me having to talk infront of them all about my troubles. I already feel like chickening out.
Oh dear :roll: something to think about day and night for 6 weeks :roll:


Well-known member
Hey Terresap, remember if the group thing doesn't go well, you can always walk out. No one can make you say or do anything you don't want to. These people are there to help you not hurt you.

I'm sorry to hear your Doc was so dismissive but these guys aren't experts in mental health. My Doc bless him is lovely and tried to help but mental health is not his field of expertise. Good for going to another Doc as well, that was brave and it was your right. Never feel bad for demanding your rights, if anyone should feel bad its the first doctor for failing to do his job and neglecting your well being.

Try to remember that the people there should understand how you feel and are in a similar position. I know it's easier said than done, but this could be a turning point for you. Please try and give it a go, imagine if it worked? No more fear, no more living in a cage. Good luck, hope it works out for you.


Well-known member
Hi terresap,

I am glad you didn't take your doctor's advice, what a jerk he must be, just take medication and you'll be right....yeah whatever.

Okay now you are stressing over the group sessions, understanbly so. But don't worry too much, because the other people there are in a similar situation and are there for the same reason you are. Group sessions could be the way to go. You don't have to say anything you don't way to say, remember that.

If its a ten week course, it would probably start off gradually just everyone getting to know people, so by the time you get to week three and four you will feel more comfortable with the other people who will also be attending. Try and think of it as a positive step that you have taken towards your recovery.

Keep us informed as to how things go.



Well-known member
What a darling! I get my 10-week old kitten from the breeder next week. So exciting.