I'm at a bit of a problem...

[BishopTutu]

I feel I've overcome a lot of my shyness over my life since I was little (I'm 18, by the way), but I still feel like I haven't gotten over enough of it; I'm a very funny person. I could make almost anyone laugh in high school (not being braggatory) and was popular because of it, but, although I experience a lesser amount of anxiety in public places than I did in the past, I feel like I act diffently in public places than I did in highschool or around my friends; I feel like I'm almost afraid to make a joke, even if i KNOW its funny. I'm sorry if this seems somewhat ambiguous, but what could I do to maybe get over this?

 

[Tryin]

Try to find the cause of your problem. In which kind of situations do you usually get anxious? When did you first experience this? Are you nervous around certain people or in general?

 

[BishopTutu]

It's in general (excluding my friends). I think the source of my problem MAY be feeling stupid if I make a joke and no one laughs. I don't get as anxious as I did when I was little, but I still do a little bit.

 

[noodle]

hey there,

i think the only way of overcoming this fear is by facing it! when you start feeling inhibited just say the joke anyway as soon as it pops into your mind. isn't humor all about timing?
lately i have been pushing myself to speak up in situations i usually avoid and it's been so rewarding. not to say it's easy.
how important is it to you what others think of you? and ask yourself what is the worst outcome if they don't laugh?
if you keep quiet it's just gonna enforce you're believe that you can't do it.
you can approach it as an experiment. just try it out and see what happens. usually most fears are unfounded.
good luck with everything!

noodle

 

[Tryin]

Dunno if this will be of any use for you, but everytime I make a joke (and I used to make them often, I think it's a way of hiding my feelings, you know, joking around without having to be serious and really express anything personal) it's like "oh jesus, what if they don't laugh?" for a second. And, well, this is when I realize how essential it is for me.. to make them laugh. And what for? The point of telling jokes shouldn't be winning people's respect, should it?

 

[BishopTutu]

I feel I have to say this: I don't want to use comedy for superficial reason; I don't want to be able to do this just to be popular or whatever. I want to get over this problem because this is a big part of who I am and it has been since I was a little kid, and I dont want shyness to eliminate that part of me. I also appreciate everyone's response, and I welcome any more that people want to post.

 

[Richey]

well if you can make people laugh to the point of popularity, im curious how SA is even an issue here?
one of the reasons im shy is because my humour can often come across lame where people react with weird expressions, so it stops me from trying as ofen.

All i can say is, use the gift you have to get over being shy

 

[BishopTutu]

Well, like I said, I just get scared that the joke won't be funny when I'm around people that I don't know. School was different: I knew practically everyone in high school and practically everyone knew me, so I really didn't have a reason to be anxious, but with people I don't know....well thats a different story, but, yeah, I know what you mean.

 

[BishopTutu]

Bump. Help a brotha out!

 

[cuill]

I do the same thing

In answer to the question,"if you can make people laugh to the point of popularity, how is SA even a problem?": I understand exactly how SA is a problem in this case. I do the same thing. In my case, making people laugh is a way to controll the relationship you have with others. It is a way to avoid being vulnerable by not really opening up. In fact, I used to hide behind humor, so it became a bad thing in a way. BUT, I learned something from that: I learned that I can interact with people in a mutually positive way, and now as I recognize that I can have "sucessful" interactions, I use that to fight the anxiety and fear. So don't stop being funny just because you've been hiding behind laughter. Turn that around and as you use humor, use it to help reinforce the positive interactions you have. I'm trying to be better about that myself, still a work in progress.

 

[BishopTutu]

Re: I do the same thing

...In my case, making people laugh is a way to controll the relationship you have with others. It is a way to avoid being vulnerable by not really opening up. In fact, I used to hide behind humor, so it became a bad thing in a way....

EXACTLY. You hit the nail right on the head with this statement, along with all the other stuff you put in your statement. In the past, I used humor in a way that didn't allow me to open up and talk to people about anything. I wish to get to the point where I'm STILL funny, but accesible as a normal human being; I want to be the "funny guy," like I truly am, but still be able to talk to people, instead of joke all the time.