Niiña
Well-known member
First of all sorry for my gramar and spelling mistakes, I hope at least most of you can understand what i wrote. I had already written my case in another response post, sorry for posting again as well, but my thoughts bothers me, and they often rounds in my head. :/
The thing is that i had an internet relationship, the first one, it wasn't on purpose :kickingmyself: Today, I'm missing him, his leaving still hurts, not so hard as at the begining but the pain hasn't leave me completely.
I loved so, he is one of the most wonderfull guys that i have known so far. Never in my whole life, a guy had been into me like he was, no one before had loved me like him, he was the only one who treated me so well. He is also a really good guy, he is so fair, loving and caring. i regret that I left him, cuz i know, my intuition tells me that i wont find someone like him.
He really cares about being happy as a goal in life, i'm a depression suferer so depression many times seems that has been overcoming my efforts to my recovering form depression, before we broke uo definitely, we had have some problems because of my evil understanding and also because of my past, isn't that so bad but he thought that i'm not really good enough person, i mean a fair person.
Because of our little missunderstandings we started having some troubles in our relationship, and that missed a beat to me, so i started to getting depresed, my mental ill got harder and harder. One day i woke up, thinking about commiting suicide and i told him, i was so sad that i couldn't see another thing different from a dark future, i really wanted to die, so i told him that the best at that moment was breaking up, so we broke up, i told him that i was considering seriuously commiting suicide before saying good bye, i didn't told him that the reason for commitin suicide was in part because the end of our relationship. He beg me for thinking very well bout my choice, because he was pretty sure that suicide wasn't the solution, and he also thought that in my deep feellings i really didn't want to commiting suicide.
I have a twitter account and i used to twit depressing stuff bout suicide, sadness, depression, love, etc i laso twitted things about us, so he red all those things, once i wrote that if i wasn't twitting there anymore it's beacuse i passed away, he ovbiously asked me for an explanation bout that tweet because it was scaring for him. Before that incident when we broke up he told me that he would try to stop reading my tweets and logging to those websites where i write on. My last tweet said that i was still alive but not for a long time, before that tweet i haven't twitted nothing. my ex-bf hasn't send me any e-mail neither a wathsapp since the last week when we broke up and i'm so sad i don't know, maybe he already forget me.
Something weird happended during this week. He has a friend from an internet forum where i also have an account, he talked to her about me and our relationship, but i don't know if he told her that i was also from that forum, but the point is that during this week that girl sent me a pv message telling me that she had read some topics that i wrote in that website so she would like to share some experiences about that, ovbiulsly, i didin't answered back. i don't know if it's only a coincidence that she contacted me because she do like sharing exeiriences, or i don't know if she contacted me because she talked to my ex-bf s bout me and my "suicide plan". i don't like to think that it's the second one option.
I'm so sad because it seems that to my ex-bf is being easy to forget me, he hasn't written me so far. i'm still thinking of him, i think i sould forget that he's going to get back to me, but for one reason, that fact makes me really sad.
The thing is that i had an internet relationship, the first one, it wasn't on purpose :kickingmyself: Today, I'm missing him, his leaving still hurts, not so hard as at the begining but the pain hasn't leave me completely.
I loved so, he is one of the most wonderfull guys that i have known so far. Never in my whole life, a guy had been into me like he was, no one before had loved me like him, he was the only one who treated me so well. He is also a really good guy, he is so fair, loving and caring. i regret that I left him, cuz i know, my intuition tells me that i wont find someone like him.
He really cares about being happy as a goal in life, i'm a depression suferer so depression many times seems that has been overcoming my efforts to my recovering form depression, before we broke uo definitely, we had have some problems because of my evil understanding and also because of my past, isn't that so bad but he thought that i'm not really good enough person, i mean a fair person.
Because of our little missunderstandings we started having some troubles in our relationship, and that missed a beat to me, so i started to getting depresed, my mental ill got harder and harder. One day i woke up, thinking about commiting suicide and i told him, i was so sad that i couldn't see another thing different from a dark future, i really wanted to die, so i told him that the best at that moment was breaking up, so we broke up, i told him that i was considering seriuously commiting suicide before saying good bye, i didn't told him that the reason for commitin suicide was in part because the end of our relationship. He beg me for thinking very well bout my choice, because he was pretty sure that suicide wasn't the solution, and he also thought that in my deep feellings i really didn't want to commiting suicide.
I have a twitter account and i used to twit depressing stuff bout suicide, sadness, depression, love, etc i laso twitted things about us, so he red all those things, once i wrote that if i wasn't twitting there anymore it's beacuse i passed away, he ovbiously asked me for an explanation bout that tweet because it was scaring for him. Before that incident when we broke up he told me that he would try to stop reading my tweets and logging to those websites where i write on. My last tweet said that i was still alive but not for a long time, before that tweet i haven't twitted nothing. my ex-bf hasn't send me any e-mail neither a wathsapp since the last week when we broke up and i'm so sad i don't know, maybe he already forget me.
Something weird happended during this week. He has a friend from an internet forum where i also have an account, he talked to her about me and our relationship, but i don't know if he told her that i was also from that forum, but the point is that during this week that girl sent me a pv message telling me that she had read some topics that i wrote in that website so she would like to share some experiences about that, ovbiulsly, i didin't answered back. i don't know if it's only a coincidence that she contacted me because she do like sharing exeiriences, or i don't know if she contacted me because she talked to my ex-bf s bout me and my "suicide plan". i don't like to think that it's the second one option.
I'm so sad because it seems that to my ex-bf is being easy to forget me, he hasn't written me so far. i'm still thinking of him, i think i sould forget that he's going to get back to me, but for one reason, that fact makes me really sad.
