ignored for other people
- Thread starter recluse
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Winter
Active member
I get that EVERY day at school and I feel exactly the same... It's like, I'm sitting next to two people who are supposed to be my friends, but I get completely ignored and whenever I try to chip into the conversation I get the clear impression that they don't care what I have to say, and if I'm like, 'so, what are you talking about?' they're like oh nevermind then just turn there backs to me :roll: It really does make you feel like crap
I always feel that I'm the last person anyone would ever think of...
I think it's always been this way. With friends, when I'm in a group, my name is always called last...and when we're sitting together, they always end up having something to talk about amongst themelves, it didnt really matter whether I was talking or not...I'm no good at butting in convos anyway, I don't have the confidence to do that, and I'd feel shameless if I tried, then regret it later. What's the point? Well, it's not like I had anything interesting to say either.
Once, a friend's friend made a joke about me and this other quiet boy in class. She said we should be best friends and communicate through visual imagery or w/e. :roll: lol
I think it's always been this way. With friends, when I'm in a group, my name is always called last...and when we're sitting together, they always end up having something to talk about amongst themelves, it didnt really matter whether I was talking or not...I'm no good at butting in convos anyway, I don't have the confidence to do that, and I'd feel shameless if I tried, then regret it later. What's the point? Well, it's not like I had anything interesting to say either.
Once, a friend's friend made a joke about me and this other quiet boy in class. She said we should be best friends and communicate through visual imagery or w/e. :roll: lol
ForeverBlue
Active member
Yeah I know this feeling. I used to have this best friend from the last year of primary school to the second year of high school. when her family moved back to the city. She was quite popular and everyone was drawn to her. But we lived around the corner from each other and we just became best friends. I was a little shy then but as a kid it usually isn't an issue. My sp got worse as I got older as I didn't really socialise as a teenager.
Anyway she had this habit that used to really shit me. I thought I was imagining it but then it happened far too often. If her and I were talking and someone else came along and interrupted, she would forget about that conversation and start talking to that person. BUT, if she was talking to someone else and I came along to interrupt, she wouldn't do the same thing and if I showed annoyance at this, she would get a bit hoity toity.
It was something that stuck in my mind alot over the years after she left. I mean we were close, good friends and I was completely relaxed and comfortable around her but things like that really annoyed me. Sometimes we had arguments (usually it was because of the way she was treating me, and quite often it involved someone else) and I wouldn't talk to her for a couple of days but it was always her that would come sucking up to me.
She wasn't terrible to me, but I guess I expected to be treated better and she just got an attitude as though I was just being a pain or something sometimes. One time we and a girl we both knew but she was closer to went to the beach and were swimming. They were talking and I was just splashing my friend with water and mucking about. But then she gets all annoyed and serious for no reason and it was almost like she was trying to put me in my place and I thought stuff you. So I got out, grabbed my stuff and went home. At least I was able to be assertive and not be walked all over.
We didn't have that much contact after she left but then years later she came back to my town but she seemed alot closer with other people that she was slight friends with before she left. They were more outgoing and fun than me by that stage and I rarely went out by then. So she just paid me a flying visit. It was weird as we had been so close and then she seemed so friendly with these other people that she wasn't so close with before.
Anyway, we went over to the local shopping centre and it was all fine but then we walked past a shop where she knew the manager as she was a friend of her mum's and while I was talking she just completely ignored me talking and walked over to this woman. It was like I wasn't even talking. She didn't even say, hang on I will just pop over here. And it was such a defining moment. After she walked off I smiled to myself and thought, yep, she hasn't changed at all. I haven't spoken to her or seen her in years but quite frankly I don't want to. It is sad as we were so close when we were young but I don't think our friendship would have lasted as I think I just would have been a hanger on to her socialising.
And quite frankly I deserve to be treated better. The stuff she did might not have been that huge or terrible. But when it happens on a regular basis it kind of makes you feel terrible about yourself. As though you don't matter.
Wow I have rambled alot...didn't realise it affected me that much
but yeah, I know what it feels like to be ignored and looked over. I find that when you meet some new people, if you are not confident and chatty on your first meeting, people won't bother making conversation with you in the future. And that is wrong as you should give people a chance!
Anyway she had this habit that used to really shit me. I thought I was imagining it but then it happened far too often. If her and I were talking and someone else came along and interrupted, she would forget about that conversation and start talking to that person. BUT, if she was talking to someone else and I came along to interrupt, she wouldn't do the same thing and if I showed annoyance at this, she would get a bit hoity toity.
It was something that stuck in my mind alot over the years after she left. I mean we were close, good friends and I was completely relaxed and comfortable around her but things like that really annoyed me. Sometimes we had arguments (usually it was because of the way she was treating me, and quite often it involved someone else) and I wouldn't talk to her for a couple of days but it was always her that would come sucking up to me.
She wasn't terrible to me, but I guess I expected to be treated better and she just got an attitude as though I was just being a pain or something sometimes. One time we and a girl we both knew but she was closer to went to the beach and were swimming. They were talking and I was just splashing my friend with water and mucking about. But then she gets all annoyed and serious for no reason and it was almost like she was trying to put me in my place and I thought stuff you. So I got out, grabbed my stuff and went home. At least I was able to be assertive and not be walked all over.
We didn't have that much contact after she left but then years later she came back to my town but she seemed alot closer with other people that she was slight friends with before she left. They were more outgoing and fun than me by that stage and I rarely went out by then. So she just paid me a flying visit. It was weird as we had been so close and then she seemed so friendly with these other people that she wasn't so close with before.
Anyway, we went over to the local shopping centre and it was all fine but then we walked past a shop where she knew the manager as she was a friend of her mum's and while I was talking she just completely ignored me talking and walked over to this woman. It was like I wasn't even talking. She didn't even say, hang on I will just pop over here. And it was such a defining moment. After she walked off I smiled to myself and thought, yep, she hasn't changed at all. I haven't spoken to her or seen her in years but quite frankly I don't want to. It is sad as we were so close when we were young but I don't think our friendship would have lasted as I think I just would have been a hanger on to her socialising.
And quite frankly I deserve to be treated better. The stuff she did might not have been that huge or terrible. But when it happens on a regular basis it kind of makes you feel terrible about yourself. As though you don't matter.
Wow I have rambled alot...didn't realise it affected me that much
but yeah, I know what it feels like to be ignored and looked over. I find that when you meet some new people, if you are not confident and chatty on your first meeting, people won't bother making conversation with you in the future. And that is wrong as you should give people a chance!
i know how you feel. I'm a "minority" in my country so people tend to ignore me and most dont say "hi" to me when they are with other people. It's not only me with that sensation. My brother and some others feels that way.
Fast I learned that people have the right to be or talk whatever they want to. So i'll not make the effort of getting atention in hope to be loved and appreciated. I'll just reply with the same coin side. I'm not here to waste my time.
Fast I learned that people have the right to be or talk whatever they want to. So i'll not make the effort of getting atention in hope to be loved and appreciated. I'll just reply with the same coin side. I'm not here to waste my time.
lizz
New member
well try your own family doing that to you i actually was invited witch never happens to a bonfire with family it took a week to sike myself up to going and when i got there i was on my own ignored by everyone i was in a chair family seemed like i was inviasbile to them all. it hurt really bad
Ads7800
Well-known member
It seems very unfair and hurtful. The same sort of events have occurred for me. A friend, to whom I was once very close, just said 'yep' and turned to another person and continued their conversation when I came up to say 'hello'.
My therapist said it is connected to a vibe that I create as a result of my phobia. My body language and facial expressions work in disharmony from my true desire to communicate: i.e. I subliminally tell other people to stay away via my body language and unusual social behaviour.
I took it hard when she informed me that I was largely creating this without even noticing, but what she says really does make sense. If you seem nervous, distant and not maintaining eye-contact, even if it is only subtle, then someone who appears more comfortable and open to talking will get preference over you.
Is it fair? No. But, that's the way it seems to work.
Unfortunately we do play a part in the rejection we receive, because others seem to think that we aren't truly interested in the conversation based on body language and other factors, even though we really do want to talk.
My therapist said it is connected to a vibe that I create as a result of my phobia. My body language and facial expressions work in disharmony from my true desire to communicate: i.e. I subliminally tell other people to stay away via my body language and unusual social behaviour.
I took it hard when she informed me that I was largely creating this without even noticing, but what she says really does make sense. If you seem nervous, distant and not maintaining eye-contact, even if it is only subtle, then someone who appears more comfortable and open to talking will get preference over you.
Is it fair? No. But, that's the way it seems to work.
Unfortunately we do play a part in the rejection we receive, because others seem to think that we aren't truly interested in the conversation based on body language and other factors, even though we really do want to talk.
xtina_fan81
Well-known member
recluse said:
Story of my life.