I went to a party yesterday

[RND_CHR]

It was pretty fun, but now I'm obsessing over what I said and how I acted. Like I told someone that I'm neurotic, which I really wish I didnt do. And like somtimes I think I can seem needy. I was talking to my friend, and I was like, I never see you outside of drinking, do you want to do something? I was talking to a girl. I was just trying to get to know her, and she's like, why are you trying to play 20 questions. Its like, I don't really care that much if I see these people again, I mean, I do like them, but What bothers me is just that I say dumb stuff. I dunno, hopefully I'll feel better after posting this.

 

[Helyna]

Well, maybe you did say dumb stuff, but now it's over and people will probably forget anything stupid you did. Besides, they might have been too drunk to remember anything.

 

[Livingwithoutlivin]

Hahaha well at least you said something. I can look back on the times that I said things, and although some of them were stupid, I'm very proud that at one point in my life, long ago, I could actually look at people and talk to them. I remember with ever previous year of my life, I used to think I was nuts, and now I'm at my peak of lowliness, and I look back at even last year and see how much saner I was than I am today. Last year I could look at somebody and talk without running away. Last year I held two jobs. Last year I was still able to not be ackward around my family at home. Last year there was a lot I could do that I am too afraid to do this year.

Everywhere I go, I feel sad. Today I went shopping for socks and I was super anxious. I was always worried that people would notice the large fret indents on the sides of my mouth. I was contemplating if I should ask somebody to open a glass shelf thing to take out a blow dryer I wanted to buy. My biggest fear is that people will notice the major sad face that is always anxious to be noticed. I'm glad that this was not me last year. I really need help.


If anybody can tell me what drug has worked most for them. Please let me know, I want something to help me.