I feel that some of our anxiety is part of living in a superficial world. I think I truly started developing my anxiety at my first job interview, when the employer was telling me to smile more, as something I should do for the job, it made me self concious wondering if I wasn't smiling enough, and now it's all I think about, am I goddamn smiling, is it looking genuine, is it turning into a fret, cause It's hard for me to rub off the fret that I'm always worrying will show instead of the smile. I feel like , in an alternate universe, there would be so many more important things consuming my mind, that that just would so not be an issue. I mean, if I was living in a jungle, I'd so depend on talking to other people and communicating how were going to survive amidst the dangers, how were going to hunt our food down, and how were going to find shelter and so forth. I feel like were just dying to find something meaningful to do. We are not on the right page, with our way of thinking. We need to change our reasons for living, to something more meaningful. When I'm not feeling sad, I'm either laughing at something like a maniac, even if it's something awful, which says much about how low my standards have fallen. I should be more angry at the things that I see wrong in this world. Perhaps I should watch " Faces of Death " videos, and give myself a wake up call. But I will work hard to find a solution to this anxiety, and when I find it, I will shout it out from the rooftops! If it takes being scared straight, then that's how it's going to be taken care of, and sometimes we don't want to be scared into changing our perspectives, but drastic is the way to change the drastically unusual.
