I Try Too Hard...

[Interzone]

Every day, I make sure I look clean-cut, presentable and clean. I am paranoid with cleanliness. I take 30-minute scathing showers that leave my skin red and dry every morning and every evening.

Even if I am only going for one class a certain day of the week. I always act as if I were to be going out on a first date.

I wear a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers daily. Just like your average college guy.

I try to keep an amiable face and demeanor, I try to keep an open mind and be polite. I hold doors, I open doors, I hold elevators for people. I always say please and thank you.

Yet, rarely does anyone initiate a conversation with me. And when someone does happen to initiate a conversation, it's always usually someone who usually is the opposite of what I'm looking for in a good friend or even girlfriend.

What's wrong with me? Why do people see right through me as if I were some ghost or person meant to be ignored?

 

[Dronee]

maybe it's the culture... often, people will not initiate conversations unless the situation demands it. At least that's the culture I came from. You know.. more reserved. At any rate, it's great that you're looking after yourself image-wise but maybe you should ease up on the scrubbing. Instead of scrubbing so hard, just scrub moderately, not enough to make your skin red or hurt. Apply moisturizer for your skin.

 

[Interzone]

I agree. Life in my city is very transient and unless you have an established social circle it's nearly impossible to meet other people. And yes, I know they had to get initiated into the social circle at some point, but it obviously occurred at a much younger age for most of them and they were obviously not socially challenged. As an adult here, entering a social circle here is nearly impossible unless you are like them. Unfortunately, most of the social circles are compromised of people I'd rather not be like. Most people here seem to not be interested in meeting new people in general.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with you, let alone with wanting to look approachable to others. I'm exactly the same way as you. I give my best effort to look approachable to others, always polite and considerate to others, but for some reason people always manage to see right through me and avoid me in most cases. I think it's because people can sense the negativity I'm generating behind my calm demeanor in response to being around people, which is something I'm definitely not comfortable with in general.

And like you, people who are of no particular interest to me approach me and try to pick up on me yet the people I'm actually interested in completely ignore me like I'm just a shadow on the wall. It's really frustrating and I can relate to how you feel about being a "ghost" to the world, but it's best to just remember that we're not alone in this world, no matter how lonely things may seem, and at one point we will all shine and make ourselves known. You sound like a very decent guy and I think it's safe to say that those people who ignore you are at fault because they don't realize what they're missing out on. Blame them, not yourself.

 

[missjesss]

a suggestion would be, don't try to to hard...wear what makes you feel comfortable but make sure your clean and wearing a nice cologne

I have that same problem and I think its the fact that people can sense your uneasiness because everytime im drinking I forget about my s a and what do you know people approach me from left right and centre, but when i am sober and lets say in a supermarket or somewhere public I dont get approached.

I

 

[missjesss]

have asked my close friends and sister and even some guys that I felt comfortable with, and they told me I look snobby and very intimidating! haha which is so not how I feel! and yes I do make sure I look as good as I can everywhere I go, but lately I have tried looking more natural and smiling alot more and that seems to be working