Hey XXX, I totally know how you feel.
I have had set-backs in my chosen career path too and I have realised the only thing I can do is try to accept that my SP is unpleasant and that I can't continue to let it affect my life so much.
Believe me, it's so hard to believe that this thing can be beaten...even seeing the words appear on the screen as I type them, I think...will I ever be free of this curse?
But that's the SP itself talking to us. We need to try and be positive and realistic about our current abilities. Then start trying to make slow but steady progress each day. I try not to let a day go by where I'm not challenged...for me this could be making a phone call, talking to a cashier, etc. But I don't beat myself up about it if I can't achieve something one day.
I am currently receiving help from a cognitive behavioural therapist...do you get any form of therapy? I find it such a huge help...it takes the pressure off, cos the burden is shared. They help you to draw up a realistic schedule to work at, in the hope that one day you will overcome your biggest fear...which for you and me is presenting or performing in a formal setting or in front of groups. 8O
At the moment, I don't truly believe I can achieve this goal, but I'm not going to give up. I can't stress enough the importance of getting in some daily practice - be it breathing exercises, imagining that you are doing presentations or PR, etc. I have noticed that I get irritable and unable to deal with stress if I let my practice slide for a while.
Hope these suggestions are of some help to you.
Don't forget...the bad moments will pass. If you aren't receiving any form of formal professional help, please consider the cognitive behavioural therapy - it is working wonders for me and it may do the same for you. Good luck!
