I think i may have Social phobia...

Twidizle

Member
Hello there, I am 16 years old right now and am doing very well in school. But my biggest concern is the fact that i am always Very very nervous during class and when i am around new ppl (mostly girls) Oh yeah I'm a dude. I always have this constant fear, when I want to ask a question to a teacher/person or when i am about to talk to a girl. I am mostly scared of doing something stupid and embarrassing my self. I have had a couple of moments where i had a Panic Attack ( this summer during an oral presentation ) and once had really bad depression(3 years ago it lasted 1 week). During oral presentations i always say to my self '' Don't **** up, Don't **** up and a the end i pretty much **** up and fail the assignment... I don't take drugs ( occasional Marijuana ) nor do i drink. I am not suicidal nor do i think of killing my self. I have no problems speaking to my friends (they are mostly guys) but i get really nervous around their friends... U can say that i feel intimidated. I am really self conscious and am constantly thinking that girls may not find me attractive or I am missing something (physically). I pretty much avoid any girl that i find attractive thinking to my self that she wouldn't want to talk to me. I haven't had this problem till about when i was 13 ( i had couple of girlfriends) but since then i haven't had any interaction with a female ( who i liked or had a crush on ) but i feel normal when i am around girls that I don't really have an attraction for. I really don't know when this started or how it started. To avoid these situations I mostly surf on the net, Work out and play games.


Anyways i would like to know if this is Social Phobia or not, if so i would like to know if this disorder will go away. My family keeps telling me that once I attend college this will go away and i will get used to it....

I would also like to know how u guys deal with it
 
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Slothrop

Well-known member
Social Phobia is just a term for a level of social anxiety that disrupts your life and prevents you from accomplishing what you need to do. Everyone experiences some degree of social anxiety, and many people your age feel the same way. If you're failing assignments and not developing new relationships, that sounds pretty disruptive. Not as bad as some, but still obviously not what you want in your life.

Problematic social anxiety generally won't just "go away" on it's own, and will often get worse over time. You need to work toward countering that anxiety, whether through psychiatric treatment or on your own. That means actively pushing your boundaries and keeping yourself from avoiding uncomfortable-but-desirable situations. If talking to girls is important to you (surely it is), then you need to keep trying and not let yourself avoid it. Exposure is the only way make yourself comfortable with something.

And if it feels impossible to make yourself do this (and it is very hard), or if you feel like you're not getting better, then I'd recommend seeing a doctor.
 
Twidizle said:
During oral presentations i always say to my self '' Don't fuck up, Don't fuck up and a the end i pretty much fuck up and fail the assignment...

You have a fear of failure. Usually confident people are motivated to work hard in order to win or be the best than to work hard in order not to fail. You probably have Social Phobia.

Do you always think on what the people are thinking of you? Like when you go outside for example, are you worried that they are looking at you and thinking about you negatively? Or when you go to class, are you worried about going inside and people looking at you?
 

karut

Member
I just started college this semester only to find out that my social anxiety got worse. I can't make any new friends up here because I'm too afraid to talk to anyone, and I'm starting to get depressed. I would try to make as much progress as possible before you start attending college. High school teachers are a little more forgiving when you make mistakes during oral presentations where as a college professor thinks you should be over "shyness" by your age.
 

Twidizle

Member
qwerty103 said:
Twidizle said:
During oral presentations i always say to my self '' Don't **** up, Don't **** up and a the end i pretty much **** up and fail the assignment...

You have a fear of failure. Usually confident people are motivated to work hard in order to win or be the best than to work hard in order not to fail. You probably have Social Phobia.

Do you always think on what the people are thinking of you? Like when you go outside for example, are you worried that they are looking at you and thinking about you negatively? Or when you go to class, are you worried about going inside and people looking at you?
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Twidizle said:
qwerty103 said:
Twidizle said:
During oral presentations i always say to my self '' Don't fuck up, Don't fuck up and a the end i pretty much fuck up and fail the assignment...

You have a fear of failure. Usually confident people are motivated to work hard in order to win or be the best than to work hard in order not to fail. You probably have Social Phobia.

Do you always think on what the people are thinking of you? Like when you go outside for example, are you worried that they are looking at you and thinking about you negatively? Or when you go to class, are you worried about going inside and people looking at you?

Well no i really don't care about what others think of me... but what i don't like is Awkward moments and misunderstandings. Like if i want to ask a question and the other does not comprehend what i am trying to tell him. But today i actually asked questions without stuttering and without thinking about what I said was stupid or dumb... The funny thing is that I used to be the class clown and the one that would always talk to ppl during class in elementary and in high school. But when once i hit the age of 16-17 I started to become more and more shy and self conscience. And as for fear of failing, I am never anxious during written exams and most of the time i ace them.... It is mostly the orals that gets me pretty nervous (I used to improvise everything in high school)

Another thing is that I don't have trouble making new friends. Its just that I have trouble talking to girls and getting a girlfriend and i feel lonely knowing that almost all my friends have one and i don't makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me.

Based on what you said, it seems that you're only shy but I'm not sure though. Tbh you're not the only one who hates orals. Some normal people does too you know. They hate presentations, going on stage, etc. Same thing about the girls also. A lot of people are shy when it comes to girls because of rejection.

However Social Phobia isn't just a normal shyness. IMO it's a fear that has been experienced too much which turned into a belief. One example is that when a person gets bitten by a dog. Let's say you get bitten by a dog once, of course if you get bitten by a dog once there will be a chance the next time you'll see a dog, you'll be afraid right? Imagine if you get bitten by a dog 10 times, now you're going to think that all or most dogs are dangerous so your mind became "Automatic" that dogs are dangerous animals so your mind tells you automatically that you have to avoid them in order to not get bitten again. This goes the same for Social Phobia because we can't fear anything that we haven't experienced right? Fear cannot only be gained by that way, it can also be gained because you were abused as a child, bullied, bad society, strict parents, you know like bitter past or negative experiences? The only way to overcome this is that if you face your fears. You're lucky because your fears aren't that worse and that you can still take the risk. Us Social Phobics it's totally a different story because our fear is extreme. Extreme that we go to panic attack mode and more physical symptoms. Fear spoils whatever it touches because you're being used by the event.

I used to be outgoing also. I was really a happy person until I reached like 13 or 14 years old and then it got even worse. I wish I knew, I thought it was just a normal shyness. *sigh*

And another thing, don't compare yourself to your friends or others. Instead compare yourself to your improvements. A champion became a champion because he tried and failed many times.

Good luck bro.
 
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