I think I have bipolar ...

[Clown]

I have so many ups and downs in my life that im starting to think I maybe have bipolar disorder.
and with ups I don't mean just happy, but more my energy is endless I almost don't sleep 3-4 hours at the most at night im full of energy ( while people wake up. I go to sleep), flight of ideas , can't sit stilll and I feel I can do anything what I want and want to do crazy stuff (destroy things) but in social situations it reflects hyperactivity and can't stop talking and say things that really doens't matter but not high confidence when in social situation.

And then I suddenly I get depressed which certainly can also have to do with the anxiety, but I get also depressed with no reason when everything is fine and just don't really know why im feeling so low .


Is it even possible to be bipolar with social anxiety disorder ? because I thought that people who are manic have high confidence in social situations , while I feel grandiose and have many ideas which I can work out and as soon as I get in social contact I get anxious again.

 

[IF ONLY xx]

I think you should see a doctor. It does sound kindof like bipolar, though.

 

[Clown]

I don't want medication for it ( so no doctor), I like the manic episodes. so if I take medication for it the manic moments are gone and then im left with only anxiety with no highs in my life at all.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

Go to your doctor and explain what you feel in physical terms instead of the mental.
You may be suffering from an imbalance of the hormones or any such related organs.
Blood sugar highs and lows can play a major role in ups or downs of the mood.

 

[Lowlight]

Hi Clown. I suffer from Bipolar 2 and have SA. Bipolar 2 is like bipolar 1 without the highest heights of mania. My SA isn't the worst case on this site, by far, but I still have it none the less.

I know all about how pumped up you can get at times for no reason. I also know how deep the depression can go. I also have a medication story for you. I started off on lithium about 2 years ago. At first I was at a low dosage and everything seemed fine. My SA didn't get any better and so I still had the pangs of depression. My doc, wrongly in hindsight, increased my dosage to the upper limit acceptable. At this point I was a zombie. I didn't feel pain nor pleasure. I would sit in my room for hours doing nothing at all. My SA got better because I didn't feel anything at all, even in public. I went to a new doc and was taken back down to a reasonable dosage that I am still at to this day. My SA is back and sometimes I get a little depressed.

What I would say to you is if you were thinking about getting on medication then you have to weigh the pros and cons of it. Off meds you have your high points that seem unobtainable otherwise, at the expense of the crushing depression. On the right meds you can feel quite content with yourself while occasionally hitting much smaller highs and lows. Either way it's your choice.

 

[Depression Glass]

I like the manic episodes.

Everyone likes hypomania. But I guarantee you won't like if/when you start having dysphoric mania or mixed episodes. I would seriously suggest getting to a doctor, letting them start trying you on meds, and find out what medication works for you. Just so if/when things ever get bad someday you know what will work to make it stop.

Trust me, I'm bipolar (and yes, I have social anxiety too) and I can tell you that you don't want a full-blown manic episode with no defense lined up.

As for your original question, not everyone displays the textbook stereotype of bubbly social ease. And those who do may not feel it every time they get manic. Sometimes you might just get really impatient and angry. Sometimes your anxiety will get even worse and you'll make bad impulsive decisions based on your anxiety. Sometimes you'll just be SUPER ULTRA MEGA HORNY. Sometimes you'll laugh until your face hurts for no reason at all. Sometimes you'll get paranoid (like I did) and think there are cameras in your house.

It all varies, and it's not always (or maybe ever) going to be the way they portray it in a book. That's why it takes most people so long to get diagnosed.

 

[Clown]

My hypomania and depression change very quikly , my mania can sometimes happens for only a few days , sometimes weeks. But im never depressed or hypomania for months on a time. So I don't actually know in which category I fit.

 

[upndwn]

Hi there clown, I also have bipolar disorder, bipolar 2 to be exact and I have suffered from SA for many years (although I'm almost cured now).

There are drugs that work mostly against the depression and leaves the positive parts of your mania intact. I also loved my ups in the beginning, but then I started to have mixed episodes, and trust me, you don't wanna have those. I urge you to seek professional help, bipolar disorder is not to be taken lightly.

 

[Clown]

upndwn do you feel the bipolar is a part of you ? I feel its part of who I am the highs and the lows unlike social anxiety disorder and gad

 

[upndwn]

upndwn do you feel the bipolar is a part of you ? I feel its part of who I am the highs and the lows unlike social anxiety disorder and gad

Absolutely, I have learned to live with it, but there are aspects of it I really don't like. But I realized it was messing up my life to much so I sought out treatment, not to cure me, I knew that was impossible, but to keep the condition in check and mitigate the worst ups and downs (especially the downs).

The meds I'm on now (Lamictal) helps against my depressions and mixed episodes, but I still have my highs (although not as intense). Without the meds I'm a mess who can't focus on anything, and my mood swings from hour to hour.

 

[atavistic]

I'm bipolar 2 rapid cycling with mixed episodes. I'm on lamictal now and I can honestly say I'm happy for the first time in my life. I know what it's like to have energy. It's like I'm on a mellow high all the time compared to being depressed all the time with hypomania episodes scattered throughout the year. I definitely at least recommend trying the lamictal. This is the first time I feel I'm alive.

And I think you feel it's a part of you cause you don't want it to go away. I only wanted to get rid of the depression too but now I'm fine with a milder form of hypomania. Also my hypomania lasts much longer on the lamictal. 3-4 days with 2 weeks of in between compared to my hypomania high I just came off of lasted about a month and a week.

Also I'd like to mention, that I feel less nervous on the lamictal. Still extremely nervous, but it's not as paralyzing. And I can motivate myself to go out and do what I'm avoiding. Like just the other day I made 3 phone calls to one of my old bosses (she didn't pick up on all 3) which scared me to death but I was able to do it.