I sprint through life

[cosmosis]

I sprint through life, utterly exhausted. I will myself to sprint to get something done, and then I’m tired again. I know no middle ground. I don’t know what it’s like to have consistent energy, physically and mentally. I approach life with mere spurts of power and then I disappear almost completely. I wait…tired and sick until I can will myself to sprint again.

So much in life requires consistent energy and flow (especially social interaction). Unfortunately you just can’t approach social interaction with a sprint. I may be able to do it for what….maybe 5-10 minutes? And then I’m spent and have to disappear, but I can’t disappear because I went too far. So most days I don’t bother even trying regardless of whether I have a sprint left in me. Anyone relate?

 

[whatsallthisthen]

Uh yeah, I think it's typical for people with SA to live life in 'bursts', so to speak... social situations wear them (us) out, so they (we) have to lay low for a while and 'recharge', so to speak...

 

[cosmosis]

True that. But it does go back as far as I remember with everything, not just social situations. I went through school the same way. Everything the teachers said was blah blah blah...I was too tired to continually listen all day. So I went home and forced myself to learn from the book in short spurts. It's like my body is designed for maximum short term impact and then nothingness. Unfortunatley many things require consistant energy. Being social utterly demands consistant energy.

 

[SammyT]

For some reason this makes me think of dopamine and the research made in the Netherlands about SA and links to dopamine dysfunction.
Amongst other things, dopamine helps us become motivated or have concentration. I know for sure my motivation sucks and has done since I was a kid. When I smoked pot throughout my teens, i thought the issues were related to the drug and not me. Having stopped smoking a few years ago, this problem still stands.