I really need some help

[Sal29]

First of all I'm 29 1/3 years old.

I don't know what to do.
I don't have a job, I don't go to college, I live with my parents, and I'm basically an all around loser.
I really really wanted to change that.
First of all let me say that I have MAJOR MAJOR social phobias.
My self diagnosis would be that I have an EXTREME form of Social Anxiety Disorder as well as some Agraphobia.
I tried to go and do the grocery by myself a few months ago and I didn't make eye contact with anyone while shopping, but the toughest part was standing in line at the checkout.
I mean There was NO PLACE where I could look where there weren't people.
To make things even worse there were no check out lines where a good looking girls weren't working, there was literally not a single checkout line that was being worked by a guy or by an old or fat woman.
I stood in line for what seemed like years and paying for the groceries was even tougher.
I have NEVER tried to do the groceries by myself since then.
I sometimes do the groceries with my parents, but I NEVER stand in line, my parents do that, and I just go to the car after I'm done shopping for groceries and my parents stand in line and pay for the groceries.
I can order food from a drivethrough by myself, but that's about the toughest thing I can do socially.
Now back to the "I want to change how I am" part.

I've been BEGGING my parents to get my health insurance so I can go to a psyciatrist and other doctors and stuff.
I've been begging my parents for health insurance for over 6 months, and they always say they'll do it next month, and they swore to GOD that I'd have health insurance by August 1st no matter what.
You see I do have a GED and I've been studying the GED preparation book so I do ok on the Community College Placement test I want to take in late August so I can go to Community College on September 1st for one semester and then go to a real school after that.

The plan in my mind was that I'd be going to a psychiatrist for 6 months and be in group therapy and stuff and be taking medication for social phobias and that my social skills would be enough that I'd be able to go to Community College on September 1st 2004.
Well it's August 5th and I haven't ever been to a Psyciatrist even once.

I think my parents are just fine with me staying a loser forever and then being HOMELESS after my parents eventually die.
I'm beggin and pleading and crying to my parents to PLEASE let me change my fate so that I can make something out of my life, but my parents get really angry at me when I beg or cry or yell, etc to please get me some health insurance.

I just have a question for you guys.
Is there any way that a guy like me with no job, no money, etc can get help for his incredible social phobias for free?
I hope that I'd have enough social skills with just 3 or 4 weeks of therapy and medication for social phobias that I can go to Community College on September 1st.
If I don't go to Community College on September 1st, then that will be like 6 WHOLE MORE IRREPLACABLE months that will have gone down the toilet because the next semester won't start for a while.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi there Sal!

Sounds like you're in a tough spot.

Remember that SP is an illness, a disease... if you were a quadriplegic, would anyone fault you for being in your living and financial situations? No... also remember that depression (which I imagine happens to 95% of people with SP) distorts the thinking and judgement subtly enough for you not to notice.... which makes it even easier to *feel* like a "loser"...

Of course, I myself feel like a loser all the time, but anyway...

For free help, check out your local community action agency (or whatever they call them in your area), free medical clinics, social service agencies, etc. Check out the Yellow Pages or online listings (or Google). If you can manage it, call a few places and tell them your story. If they can't help you, they can usually tell you of someone/some place that can.

Another big plus about these places is that the people are generally VERY nice and understanding.

You may qualify for free or reduced-rate mental and physical health care based on you and possibly your parents' income.

Just think.... if we lived in the UK you'd already HAVE health insurance!

Whereabouts in the US are you at?

 

[Sal29]

Hi there Sal!

Sounds like you're in a tough spot.

Remember that SP is an illness, a disease... if you were a quadriplegic, would anyone fault you for being in your living and financial situations? No... also remember that depression (which I imagine happens to 95% of people with SP) distorts the thinking and judgement subtly enough for you not to notice.... which makes it even easier to *feel* like a "loser"...

Of course, I myself feel like a loser all the time, but anyway...

For free help, check out your local community action agency (or whatever they call them in your area), free medical clinics, social service agencies, etc. Check out the Yellow Pages or online listings (or Google). If you can manage it, call a few places and tell them your story. If they can't help you, they can usually tell you of someone/some place that can.

Another big plus about these places is that the people are generally VERY nice and understanding.

You may qualify for free or reduced-rate mental and physical health care based on you and possibly your parents' income.

Just think.... if we lived in the UK you'd already HAVE health insurance!

Whereabouts in the US are you at?

Thanks for the advice, I'll look into it.
BTW, I'm in Pennsylvania in the Philly Suburbs.

 

[Orlando]

Hi, Sal!

Here's the website that gives you the information on how to apply for Medicaid. There is a 1-800 number if you have any questions. Atleast from what I read, not all people are eligiable for Medicaid. You' ll have to fill out and submit your application to the state office. Then you'll have to wait and get an answer. (I'll keep my fingers crossed). Oh, they may pay for Outpatient treatment (that may include therapy visits in clinics) and it may include medication if you get a prescription. However, you can ask all the question you have with a representative from the office. They will have more reliable information than me (I'm just a layperson with all of this.)

the website is http://www.dpw.state.pa.us/oim/oimappforms.asp

I don't want to get your hopes up....but I don't want to say it isn't possible.
Good Luck! :wink:

 

[symbiosis]

Shit, SP sucks....I can so relate to what you wrote Sal....I was in a similar situation from 17-25, after dropping out of high school. I had to make gradual progress with counselling and small 'wins' like attending short courses and doing volunteer work. You can change, it is just a matter of persistence, determination and taking advantage of whatever opportunities are available to you....keep your chin up! I am now a completely different person to the young 'loser' I used to be.

Sounds like you are desperate to change and grow - which is really, really good....that's when things start to get better....when you are completely FED UP and don't want to go on the same way anymore.

Cheers, Symbiosis