this-is-why-im-hot
Active member
Hi, i really do reconmend u read this and you might not of heard recomendations quite like it.
The worst thing you can proberly do is set goals in your mind, they never work.
before i begin i would like you to know i speak from experience, ive re-invented myself so many times its sick lol but ill tell you what helped, and more importantly what didnt!
It can often be hard to get yourself out of a habbit, and type of behaviour is learned! ofcourse are personalitys i like to belive are uniquely are own, its the way we express them that we learn. like shyness, this is something you have learned and internalised creating a repeat pattern. thats the science, one u look at it like that, thats the first step of comming to terms with it. now what do we do about it if we wish to change that?
I strongly reccomend before u begin anything social, you work on yourself first, coz end of the day if u jump in the deep end, u will drown. its that thing again, if u look to others to find happiness in yourself, it will be a rocky ride.
So to start off with i recomend building your self esteem and confidence first, for this i reccomend going on amazon.com/co.uk and purshasing yourself and hypnosis cd (it works miracles i tell ya) get one titled something about self confidence and social confidence, but make sure its got self on there. mine had both which is handy. the point if this first step is first getting to the core of the problem, tackling it from the inside out. this if u put it on before bed, lie down relax, once u nodd of and its playing, it will go straight into your uncoinsience, where as most of us kno, all these problems r rooted. i also recomend paul mckenna he's very good.
Now give this a few weeks before doing anything else, u will slowly see a slight more optimistic attitude, which is what u need, not a positive one, or negative, just optimistic. then i suggest figuring out what u like about u! i dont mean in comparison to others, just purely you. then i recomend you set yourself targets, things you want to achieve wether it be college, new job whatever, this boasts confidence just going for something!
then before u tackle the social side of things, i suggest reading about 'assertive communication' ull probs come accross other types of communication styles, when u do ull see why the assertive type is the best, its the one that boasts ur self esteem through conversation without lowing that of others, which in return builds rupport, which again u recieve more self confidence!
End of the day people, u deserve to be happy. the world is superficial, on the outside, but to get on in the inside, u have to play the game. so dedicate your time u spend feeling bad about yourselfs, in learning how to feel good about yourself! it is possible. all the above i have tried and tested. i looked in all the wrong places, i tried bein a people pleaser putting them before me, but this looses respect, ive tried anti depressants, but my problem was makin me depressed, not the other way round, hell i even tried bein the life and sole at the clubs, but people arent that superficail to that be thats all they want in a friend. i just couldnt quite click why i struggled so much! but all along it was my self esteem, how i communcated with others, in a vicous circle, building your self woth and learning how to positvely communcate is key!
i would like to know if anyone is going to try this and then be even more delighted to now how you get on!
thanks for your time
The worst thing you can proberly do is set goals in your mind, they never work.
before i begin i would like you to know i speak from experience, ive re-invented myself so many times its sick lol but ill tell you what helped, and more importantly what didnt!
It can often be hard to get yourself out of a habbit, and type of behaviour is learned! ofcourse are personalitys i like to belive are uniquely are own, its the way we express them that we learn. like shyness, this is something you have learned and internalised creating a repeat pattern. thats the science, one u look at it like that, thats the first step of comming to terms with it. now what do we do about it if we wish to change that?
I strongly reccomend before u begin anything social, you work on yourself first, coz end of the day if u jump in the deep end, u will drown. its that thing again, if u look to others to find happiness in yourself, it will be a rocky ride.
So to start off with i recomend building your self esteem and confidence first, for this i reccomend going on amazon.com/co.uk and purshasing yourself and hypnosis cd (it works miracles i tell ya) get one titled something about self confidence and social confidence, but make sure its got self on there. mine had both which is handy. the point if this first step is first getting to the core of the problem, tackling it from the inside out. this if u put it on before bed, lie down relax, once u nodd of and its playing, it will go straight into your uncoinsience, where as most of us kno, all these problems r rooted. i also recomend paul mckenna he's very good.
Now give this a few weeks before doing anything else, u will slowly see a slight more optimistic attitude, which is what u need, not a positive one, or negative, just optimistic. then i suggest figuring out what u like about u! i dont mean in comparison to others, just purely you. then i recomend you set yourself targets, things you want to achieve wether it be college, new job whatever, this boasts confidence just going for something!
then before u tackle the social side of things, i suggest reading about 'assertive communication' ull probs come accross other types of communication styles, when u do ull see why the assertive type is the best, its the one that boasts ur self esteem through conversation without lowing that of others, which in return builds rupport, which again u recieve more self confidence!
End of the day people, u deserve to be happy. the world is superficial, on the outside, but to get on in the inside, u have to play the game. so dedicate your time u spend feeling bad about yourselfs, in learning how to feel good about yourself! it is possible. all the above i have tried and tested. i looked in all the wrong places, i tried bein a people pleaser putting them before me, but this looses respect, ive tried anti depressants, but my problem was makin me depressed, not the other way round, hell i even tried bein the life and sole at the clubs, but people arent that superficail to that be thats all they want in a friend. i just couldnt quite click why i struggled so much! but all along it was my self esteem, how i communcated with others, in a vicous circle, building your self woth and learning how to positvely communcate is key!
i would like to know if anyone is going to try this and then be even more delighted to now how you get on!
thanks for your time
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