mart22n
Well-known member
Hi all!
I'm an old member of this forum, visiting it once in a while. Over the past few years, my "progress" in beating SA has been kind of exponential, i.e. more risk taking, more "seeing that this fear is usually BS", and so on.
So on Wednesday I reached the point where going out with friends gave me a real blast (kinda sad that this totally normal thing is a miracle for a SA sufferer) and I realized that by taking some risk, SA is beatable for me.
Why do I need help? Because when usually my mind was haunted with SA-related thoughts, then now those thoughts are practically gone, and I feel light and "happy" as they say. The problem is this feeling is NOT normal, even for normal people - for normal people, the usual feeling is kinda "dull and peaceful" (as my mom described), that's, you know, when you're at work, doing some stuff by yourself etc.
So, this "light and happy" feeling hinders my sleep and as I've already been to the looney-bin once, I know that not getting enough sleep + this feeling for some time leads to taking heavy medication, which sends you back to dull, depressed state, plus, as I'm a programmer, I guess concentrating at work is hard when you're on heavy meds.
What's your advice, how could I fall asleep more easily? btw, if I get out of this alive, I'm continuing with the SP/SA support group which we founded this spring with a friend.
I'm an old member of this forum, visiting it once in a while. Over the past few years, my "progress" in beating SA has been kind of exponential, i.e. more risk taking, more "seeing that this fear is usually BS", and so on.
So on Wednesday I reached the point where going out with friends gave me a real blast (kinda sad that this totally normal thing is a miracle for a SA sufferer) and I realized that by taking some risk, SA is beatable for me.
Why do I need help? Because when usually my mind was haunted with SA-related thoughts, then now those thoughts are practically gone, and I feel light and "happy" as they say. The problem is this feeling is NOT normal, even for normal people - for normal people, the usual feeling is kinda "dull and peaceful" (as my mom described), that's, you know, when you're at work, doing some stuff by yourself etc.
So, this "light and happy" feeling hinders my sleep and as I've already been to the looney-bin once, I know that not getting enough sleep + this feeling for some time leads to taking heavy medication, which sends you back to dull, depressed state, plus, as I'm a programmer, I guess concentrating at work is hard when you're on heavy meds.
What's your advice, how could I fall asleep more easily? btw, if I get out of this alive, I'm continuing with the SP/SA support group which we founded this spring with a friend.